VIC Contesting IVO - and further and better particulars

[tigerman2705]

Hello. I have endured 6 years of intervention orders. I consented without admissions in the beginning as advice at the time was that it was pointless fighting. They have varied from full orders to basic orders depending on the ex’s mood at the time. It’s a six monthly cycle that has been very difficult to navigate.

Last year in July an order was due to expire when my ex extended it again with very flimsy allegations and put my children on it as well. I indicated I would contest the children being on it and she folded.

I have been paying child support and seeing the kids a lot as we get our separation sorted in terms of child and property arrangements. There are no orders in place. However in recent weeks the ex has become angry that I am not paying for a lot of her bills as well. Things like car insurance, her mobile etc. I have refused point blank as, like me, she works full time and runs an online business as well. She easily earns enough money to cover these costs herself.

One argument escalated to the point where she shoved me in the chest and then accused me of hitting her which was untrue. The next day I was served with an interim IVO once again cutting me off from my kids. This was in the same week that the kids and I had enjoyed a five day camping trip.

Around 10 days later I received a letter from her solicitor offering 48 hours with the kids every two weeks from 6pm Friday to 6pm Sunday. The letter also said she would not be withdrawing her application to have the IVO varied to put the children on it.

Am I right that the ex’s willingness to allow me 48 hours with the girls undermines her supposed fears for their safety?

The paperwork I received from police only contains allegations from the original IVO from 2015. There are no new allegations that I know of and I obviously do not know what was said in court for the magistrate to agree to the interim variation.

I should note here that police are not involved in this. My ex went to court and did this off her own bat. She has often used threats of bringing the full intervention order back to get her way at various times and has now done so.

I intend to self represent at this upcoming hearing and I know that I will need a lawyer for directions/contested hearings.

My question is that do I simply ask the magistrate for [Redacted by Moderator] to provide further and better particulars at the mention? Is there a correct way to phrase this?

Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[sammy01]

What has been the established history of your time with the kids? Is this a substantial reduction in your time?
Did you write back to her solicitor explain you did not consent to her deciding to change the parenting arrangements? You should have.
Is the decision to stop paying the extras a recent one?

Yep - I'd self rep. I'd ask for her to withdraw the application and for the previous parenting arrangements to resume. I'd ask for the interim order be removed until such time as she can satisfy the court of it's necessity. While you're there mention that there has been 6 yrs of avo's without a single charge for breach let alone a conviction for breaching. IF this game has reduced your time with the kids, then mention that too. Mate short version is that all self-reppers are winging it. Write a 1 minute speech and realise that if the judge tells you to stop talking, then STOP. If you're lucky you'll get a judge who is jack of their courtroom being used as a mechanism to punish innocent blokes and lets you finish your

Organise mediation if that has not happened in the last year and start planning to make an application to the federal circuit court for parenting orders.

 

[tigerman2705]

When contesting a FVIO is it a matter of the ex having to prove the allegations, or me disproving them? I know it’s a balance of probabilities situation.

 

[sammy01]

the burden of proof is on her.

 

[tigerman2705]

Had a great weekend with the kids. Mention is tomorrow. Ex isn’t backing down despite the fact that my fort nightly care arrangement is clearly at odds with her wish for the kids to be on the order. This is the first time I have ever been accused of physically abusing my children. No coincidence that she had been demanding money from me In the lead up to all this. I will be fighting it as hard as I can. I have a lawyer lined up for the contest hearing itself which I know will be some months away.

 

[tigerman2705]

Had the mention, didn’t get a chance to say much. Directions hearing around 6 weeks away. Ex looked a little shocked when magistrate told her she needs a lawyer for next step. Police aren’t helping her this time and she doesn’t qualify for legal aid. I’m hoping the legal cost might make her think twice about pursuing this.

The reasons to vary include claims I have been physically/verbally abusive to our children which is just not true. She also claims I assaulted her, leaving bruising. She won’t have any evidence of such things because they never happened. She never went to police over the allegations even though there was a basic order in place with just her name on it so I would have been breaching. I feel I have to fight on principle as much as anything.

the kids and I had a great time seeing each other last weekend and will again in a week’s time. I’m feeling positive.

 

[Atticus]

If the court is satisfied that the application was vexatious, frivolous or in bad faith, ask your lawyer about pursuing costs...

(b) if the court is satisfied in a particular case that the making of any application under this Act was vexatious, frivolous or in bad faith, the court may award costs against the applicant.

SOURCE >>> FAMILY VIOLENCE PROTECTION ACT 2008 - SECT 154 Costs

 

[tigerman2705]

We will certainly look at that when the time comes. I am hoping the fact she won’t have evidence of any alleged assaults (photos, police reports, doctor etc) will help knock that on the head. I can also disprove her financial allegations easily enough. I also have lots of text messages from my daughters expressing their dismay on the day I had to leave and anger over my ex’s abuse of the system. My 16 yo daughter also sent me a very compelling video on that day in the hope that police or someone with influence might see it, describing her mother as a compulsive liar who constantly abuses the system. My solicitor had tears in her eyes while watching it and said the court needs to see this. My daughter just wanted to have her say and didn’t know how else to do it. I didn’t ask for it.

She has since sent texts telling me she wants to live with me when I get my new place sorted. The other kids (15 and 11) have sent texts and emails saying how much they miss me and that they wish I was with them. My 15 year old told her mother that she wants a 50-50 care arrangement and that there’s nothing her mother can do about it because she is old enough to make that decision. All that plus the fact the ex offered this once a fortnight care arrangement at the former matrimonial home (I’m either a risk or I’m not) hopefully gives me a decent chance that I don’t present a danger to anyone - especially my girls.

My kids go to good schools where they hold leadership roles. They are strong mature young women.

We will get through this and live a very happy life. I won’t be surprised if all three end up with me full time now that they are old enough to see things for themselves.

I also believe that my ex might finally wake up to herself as she realises this fight is expensive, pointless and very different when she doesn’t have police in her corner.

 

[sammy01]

My money is on her not even showing up for the next court mention.

 

[Rod]

Did you ask for further and better particulars?

Why is the next hearing a directions hearing and not a contest?