I'm going to chime back in here and tell you the things I would pick up on if I were a Judge observing this case.
But then, there's also two sides to every story, isn't there? I'm a 'girlfriend', and I really have no hesitation in taking credit for how much my now-husband sees his daughter, and I'm sure you can only imagine how infuriating that was for his ex-wife, but the reality is that it wasn't me who pushed him to see her more. He always wanted to see her more. The problem, however, was his ex-wife, whose idea of 'reasonable and civil and never withholding the child' was imposing totally untenable conditions on how and when he could spend time with his daughter.
See, if you 'allow' the child to see her dad, but impose strict conditions on how that time together should happen, you're not being reasonable, and most certainly in our circumstances, the Court agrees.
Your capacity to be reasonable is questionable, as follows:
In response, the father tendered evidence of images from the mother's Instagram account, which showed herself carrying the child while working out on gym equipment. The Court was none too pleased about that, so what makes you think it's okay for you to shirk your agreement, but it's not okay for your ex to do the same based on something allegedly agreed in mediation?
However, the most alarming thing in your posts is this:
See, the Court can and frequently has reversed living arrangements where a parent has been found unable to recognise the importance of a child's relationship with the other parent, and I think that is a real risk for you. I can't see how the Court would agree that you're capable of ensuring the child can still enjoy a meaningful relationship with her father even if you do relocate, when you forcefully insist that the child's time with grandma over the school holidays is more important than her time with father.
You encountered a conflict between time with dad vs time with grandma, and you nominated time with grandma as the priority, but the Court is going to tell you that you made the wrong call. For perspective about who the Court thinks is the most important people in a child's life, a grandparent would never be granted four nights a fortnight, half holidays and 50/50 over Christmas like your daughter's father has now, yet you would be asking the Court to agree that an entire school holiday period is more important to the child than spending time with her dad.
I think you lack insight about what's important to your daughter's well-being. I, for one, loved all of my grandparents dearly, but none of them could ever come anywhere closer to being a replacement for the relationship I share with my father.
- First post: My ex & I have a 5-year-old daughter. We separated when she was 12 months old, and for 4 and a half years, he had very little to do with her
- Latest post: My daughter does go to him for his 4 nights a fortnight, half holidays, Christmas holidays with alternate weeks.
- I have been nothing but civil & reasonable.over 4.5 years he couldn't have given 2 shits about his daughter, but now he has a girlfriend with kids, that's all changed.
- Sad part is, if he was single & all of this came up & I left he wouldn't even have cared.
- Now that a girlfriend is in the picture, it's not on.
But then, there's also two sides to every story, isn't there? I'm a 'girlfriend', and I really have no hesitation in taking credit for how much my now-husband sees his daughter, and I'm sure you can only imagine how infuriating that was for his ex-wife, but the reality is that it wasn't me who pushed him to see her more. He always wanted to see her more. The problem, however, was his ex-wife, whose idea of 'reasonable and civil and never withholding the child' was imposing totally untenable conditions on how and when he could spend time with his daughter.
See, if you 'allow' the child to see her dad, but impose strict conditions on how that time together should happen, you're not being reasonable, and most certainly in our circumstances, the Court agrees.
Your capacity to be reasonable is questionable, as follows:
- Earlier post: we had consent orders done up which he has signed but I have not, therefore, they are not in effect but he does not know this
- More recent post: I want him to honour that & let them have this holiday together as my little girl has been looking forward to it since we agreed upon it.
In response, the father tendered evidence of images from the mother's Instagram account, which showed herself carrying the child while working out on gym equipment. The Court was none too pleased about that, so what makes you think it's okay for you to shirk your agreement, but it's not okay for your ex to do the same based on something allegedly agreed in mediation?
However, the most alarming thing in your posts is this:
- My biggest worry is my child & how not having my family around is going to affect her.
See, the Court can and frequently has reversed living arrangements where a parent has been found unable to recognise the importance of a child's relationship with the other parent, and I think that is a real risk for you. I can't see how the Court would agree that you're capable of ensuring the child can still enjoy a meaningful relationship with her father even if you do relocate, when you forcefully insist that the child's time with grandma over the school holidays is more important than her time with father.
You encountered a conflict between time with dad vs time with grandma, and you nominated time with grandma as the priority, but the Court is going to tell you that you made the wrong call. For perspective about who the Court thinks is the most important people in a child's life, a grandparent would never be granted four nights a fortnight, half holidays and 50/50 over Christmas like your daughter's father has now, yet you would be asking the Court to agree that an entire school holiday period is more important to the child than spending time with her dad.
I think you lack insight about what's important to your daughter's well-being. I, for one, loved all of my grandparents dearly, but none of them could ever come anywhere closer to being a replacement for the relationship I share with my father.