VIC Other Parent Moved Away 4 years Ago - Now wants to change consent orders

[anditcontinues]

Hi Everyone
I have been doing some research on this forum and around the internet, but cannot seem to find any similar previous cases or info on my situation and was wondering if anyone here could either point me in the right direction or give some advice.

Background - Ex and I separated 9 years. Consent orders previously made 8 years ago where Ex had our daughter 5pm Friday - 9am Monday every fortnight.
The first 4 years of the consent orders saw our daughter often left at childcare or school as he just refused to have her that weekend or bring her back half way through the visit as either he was unwell or she was unwell. This has gone on for years and contact has been erratic.mediation always unsuccessful with mediator stating "you cannot make a parent have a child but you have to always make that child available to a parent" - very frustrating!

4 years ago he moved interstate with a new partner. he did not move for a job and he has no family there, so there was no "compelling" reason for him to move.

3 years ago out of the blue i received contact from FRA again about attending mediation (which i did willingly).
His request was to speak with our daughter on phone and perhaps see her one day when he was back in the state.(again i encouraged the calls which were erratic and sometimes non existent for weeks)
Fast forward to present day where I have just completed mediation number 3 with no resolution.

My ex has not seen or made any real attempts at a relationship and now because i didn't agree for her to fly to his location unaccompanied he has engaged legal aid and is taking me to court.
He is also refusing to now sign her passport despite having signed it x 2 before whilst separated.

So my questions -
**Will ex have difficulty getting original consent orders changed even though he was the one who moved away for no reason.
**I was told by the mediator i cannot bring up passport issues in mediation however since reading this forum it appears i could have. A section 60I has already been issued. Can i apply in the state i live in to have another mediation on this or do i have to wait 12 months?
** is it difficult to represent yourself and file responses to affidavits etc. I have absolutely no financial resources to engage a lawyer and am not entitled to legal aid so will either have to attempt to do this myself or just agree to whatever he wants.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[sammy01]

Ok so did mediation fail because of the argument about flying alone???
He is obviously taking you to court because you would not agree to something??? what was that 'something'
How old is the child?
Look, you're better off avoiding court... So I'm gonna assume the flying solo bit is the issue... I've had a look - at this point I tend to agree with you.... Kid flying alone hell no...
Jetstar will let kids from the age of 12 fly alone.
Children travelling alone | Jetstar
The virgin policy seems a bit vague, I'd suggest checking as it appears to be from that age of 5?? Seems very young.. So then I checked flight centre
They will book un-accompanied minors from the age of 5. wow...
Unaccompanied Minors | Flight Centre (Maybe... Maybe I'm chaning my mind)

So your post states that you've done all you can to encourage relationship? Great... My thinking goes like this... You are out of touch with the rest of the world - don't worry me too. See the rest of the world (well the bit of it that is experienced with letting kids fly alone anyways - and that is the important bit as far as this question goes) thinks it ok for kids to fly alone from the age of 5.... WOW I know, shock... ME TOO So lets take a deep breath in before continuing...

ah that is better
.... So why not write to ex asking for new consent orders.... You agree to daughter flying - he agrees to pay the flights, he also agrees to do passport... YOU DONT HAVE TO GO TO COURT. WIN WIN... BTW if there have been passports in the past, obviously your kid has some experience with flying? true. infact you could even pass on the consent orders, just agree. He signs passports, you agree for the kid to fly to see dad - ah, I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy, isnt' this nice.

Now I get it, I really do. No way I'd let my kids fly alone.... Until I thought about it and read a bit. So there is usually an additional fee. So that tells me the airlines must put someone in charge of supervising the kid... Gets me thinking. Does Jetstar, or QANTAS really want the bad publicity that would come with a child getting harmed / abused etc etc while on one of their flights? hell no. So given your kid must be 10 or older?

Now - you have said that you have gone out of your way to encourage relationship with dad? really? So, read the info on the Flight Centre website. REad it all. (twice). Look after reading that, I've decided I'd let my 7 yr old fly alone.. So if you're that keen to encourage the relationship with dad this is what I want you to do... Agree to pay half of the flights, go on dare ya... Oh ok, what if you agree to pay the child flying alone additional charge... it is $55 per flight on virgin
Children Travelling Alone | Virgin Australia
BTW - I read somewhere that they will let up to 6 un-accompanied minors on the one flight (wow).... But if you're keen on getting a passport, keen on avoiding court, keen on encouraging a relationship between dad and kid, I reckon this is one that you're better off agreeing to because if the airlines policy is kids from the age of 5 that tells me you're gonna get your arse kicked in court even if you do have a very expensive barrister.... So clearly you're better off avoiding court.
what do you reckon?

 

[AllForHer]

Will ex have difficulty getting original consent orders changed even though he was the one who moved away for no reason.

Unless there is a consent order that restricts either parent from relocating, I would say not. There's a precedent case called Rice & Asplund which holds that the Court ought not to hear applications to change final orders unless there has been a significant change in circumstances or the child's interests are no longer being met. Dad moving is most definitely a significant change in circumstances, and to be clear, the Court has quite often accepted relocation to pursue a relationship as a perfectly reasonable excuse for relocating, so when you say he had no reason, that is probably not true in his view, or the Court's.

But perhaps changing the orders wouldn't be so bad. At the moment, I assume that you're collecting the child from school on weekends that the orders say dad is meant to pick her up? Imagine a scenario in which he comes back to your town for a weekend and collects the child without telling you (as is his prerogative under the current orders). The child is gone without a trace, you have no idea where she is, no idea what to do, panic ensues.

And there wouldn't be a thing you could do about it, because you have consent orders that enable that to happen. Are you sure you don't want those orders changed?

I was told by the mediator i cannot bring up passport issues in mediation however since reading this forum it appears i could have. A section 60I has already been issued. Can i apply in the state i live in to have another mediation on this or do i have to wait 12 months?

You can apply for mediation again within the 12-month period. The 12-month thing only refers to the validity of the s 60I certificate - if you try to file a Court application with a s60I certificate attained more than 12 months ago, it won't be accepted, but having a valid s 60I certificate doesn't enforce a 12-month exemption on attempting mediation.

You may not need to mediate, though. Does your ex have a lawyer? If so, send them an e-mail about your requests, so they can talk to their client about it and see if they get an agreement in place.

Is it difficult to represent yourself and file responses to affidavits etc.

Hard one to answer because it's very dependent on the person.

With enough research and commitment, it can be done. Just this month, the FCCA ruled in favour of a self-represented mother to reverse residency of a young boy who had been living with his dad for over two years. Residency cases are difficult at the best of times, doubly so with self-represented litigants, so it was quite a feat for this particular mother, who had voluntarily relocated away from the child some years beforehand, to front her ex's lawyer in Court and win both sole parental responsibility and residency of her son.

However, I've seen some self-represented litigants act with confidence, only to fall upon their own swords due to lack of understanding about Court etiquette and process. I've seen some get more attached to their sense of entitlement as a parent than to their kids' best interests, I've seen others exploit their own case as a platform for social activism, and I've seen some who are just way too cocky for their own good.

If you can think and act objectively, and learn what the law says about parenting matters, self-representation is doable, and can save a lot of money. Resources like this forum are also very helpful.

 

[Lennon]

Ok so did mediation fail because of the argument about flying alone???
Now I get it, I really do. No way I'd let my kids fly alone.... Until I thought about it and read a bit. So there is usually an additional fee. So that tells me the airlines must put someone in charge of supervising the kid... Gets me thinking. Does Jetstar, or QANTAS really want the bad publicity that would come with a child getting harmed / abused etc etc while on one of their flights? hell no. So given your kid must be 10 or older?

Now - you have said that you have gone out of your way to encourage relationship with dad? really? So, read the info on the Flight Centre website. REad it all. (twice). Look after reading that, I've decided I'd let my 7 yr old fly alone.. So if you're that keen to encourage the relationship with dad this is what I want you to do... Agree to pay half of the flights, go on dare ya... Oh ok, what if you agree to pay the child flying alone additional charge... it is $55 per flight on virgin
Children Travelling Alone | Virgin Australia
BTW - I read somewhere that they will let up to 6 un-accompanied minors on the one flight (wow).... But if you're keen on getting a passport, keen on avoiding court, keen on encouraging a relationship between dad and kid, I reckon this is one that you're better off agreeing to because if the airlines policy is kids from the age of 5 that tells me you're gonna get your arse kicked in court even if you do have a very expensive barrister.... So clearly you're better off avoiding court.
what do you reckon?

My kids having been flying unaccompanied between WA and Qld for over 2 years (since they were 8 and 10). I always book with Qantas. They are seated in the very back rows, never next to adults. They get boarded and disembarked separately and under close supervision. They are handed to the nominated person at the other end, who must produce ID. It's safe as houses.

At the beginning of the previous school holidays there were 14 unaccompanied minors on the flight.