NSW Consent Orders - Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Mr_Mick]

So this is my 1st post here and after doing some research of the Family Law Act 1975 (specifically s60cc). I need some quick help.

My wife and I separated in August 2015. I had previously devised a Parenting Plan in September 2015, however, my ex did not / refused to sign this and subsequently relocated to Queensland for personal and employment reasons in December 2015.

Being a fair and reasonable person, I did not oppose this move as I honestly believed that it was in the best interests of the children at the time. My ex had housing, family support and full-time employment prior to this move.

Unfortunately for myself I did not seek legal advice at this time as I wrongly thought that we had a relationship that we could maintain and things would remain amicable. Recent events have involved my ex seeking independent legal advice with us now discussing Consent Orders rather than Orders being made by the Court.

I initially drafted the Consent Orders with a specific clause that the primary parent (ie my ex) paying for transport to and from Queensland to NSW. I drafted these owing to the fact that I see this as a negotiation and we needed to start somewhere.

I have recent email correspondence from her indicating that it wasn't fair and reasonable and that I should consider another draft and that she is not stopping me from seeing the children but even if we met the cost 50/50 that she could not sustain the arrangement. She also suggested that my 1st draft was to simply increase my care percentage so I would pay her less in child support.

I have since suggested that she return with an alternative and vice versa until we can reach a resolution. My idea of course being that this is the whole purpose of negotiation.

I have now drafted 2 other copies of Consent Orders which involve bi-monthly access and a further draft for access over the school holidays on the proviso that she meets the cost of transport but if the care percentage rises over 14% that she would still receive the amount determined by the original Child Support Agency assessment. I am yet to forward these to her as I am still awaiting a response to my original request that she respond with an alternative arrangement.

I currently pay an exorbitant amount of child support and have adjusted my lifestyle, however, I also have medical needs that are not being met (medication and specialists), I have a loan that I took out for my ex for a car (which I now have but is surplus to my requirements) and day to day liabilities to meet however I feel that if I was to be solely responsible for the transport I could not afford to meet basic day to day necessities.

I guess what I'm asking, having not been down this road before, is am I being unreasonable?

 

[sammy01]

You're on a hiding to nothing - CSA have some rules about travel. Call them or look it up on their website, but off the top of my head, your expenses to travel must be more than 15% of your income in order for them to come close to caring. Even then, there are provisions for them to ignore their rule. So if your ex don't agree, then you're stuffed and it ain't worth fighting it out in court - unlikely you'll win.

Now as far as the 14% care rule. Again look on their calculator. If your care goes above 14%, your CS will go down but it might be worth working out how much. It probably won't be much at all. Maybe you can show that to the ex in the hope she agrees to the extra time because it won't cost her all that much.

Lesson 1 - sorry - but never should have let them go and now they have, you can't even try and get them to return.

Lesson 2 - I agree with your perception of negotiation, but sometimes such as this, she holds all the cards and can sit there until you come up with a deal that she will accept. You do all the work, have all the frustration and she gets to veto it all. Why should she work on it? She has better things to do like hang with the kids.

Mate, I'm being brutal here, but it is the truth isn't it. So, nope you're being reasonable - your mistake is expecting her to do the same...

Lesson 3 - It is fair that she pay half travel costs but unless she agrees, you're. She isn't gonna agree.

Final lesson - Move to QLD, move into her neighbourhood and ask for 50/50 shared care of the kids and read lesson 1 again.

For what it is worth - you seem reasonable and I feel for you. But you're on a hiding to nothing.

 

[Mr_Mick]

I did a quick flick through the CSA stuff about travel and the amount that I would have to reach and that's totally unrealistic. I did some quick calculations as well and there is no perceivable financial benefit to her in agreeing to what I've proposed.

Mate I'm being brutal here - but it is the truth isn't it.... So nope you're being reasonable - your mistake is expecting her to do the same...

I appreciate your honesty. I really do. I would rather hear that than have someone sugarcoat things.

I've considered the whole move thing and got speaking with my dad about it. He's very fair and straightforward about these things and he's given me some food for thought.

 

[Migz]

Mr_Mick, if you are truely keen on seeing your children, then its time to:

A. Sign up for mediation (not always necessary, as my ex got out of it), obtain the 60I certificate.

B. Start and Initiating Application for final and interim orders.
Initiating Application Kit - Federal Circuit Court of Australia

I think you will soon see some responses from your ex partner when you file this paperwork asking for your parenting plan to become parenting orders.

Cheers

 

[SamanthaJay]

Also sell the car and pay back the loan.