SA Chances of ex being granted recovery orders or denied?

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GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
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Well can I just say well done Concernedmum for accepting Sammy's feedback in good faith and without getting overly defensive. I haven't read every detail of all 3 pages so I don't want to form any solid opinions of my own on the situation, but I did read his first few comments on the first page and he's absolutely right, Child Protection would need to do an investigation or at least a preliminary investigation before making any official recommendations. I've got my own issues with Victorian Child Protection and their lack of self-reflection and ability to be impartial and fair given a particularly bad experience with them a few years ago, but at least they interviewed me and advised me themselves in person that they did not want me to have my children unsupervised until such times as their investigation was completed. So at least I heard it from the horse's mouth so to speak. Child Protection don't usually make recommendations to one parent without being involved and knowledgeable about the details of the case. However, what Child Protection seem to enjoy doing is substantiating 'risk' (not actually investigate and make factual findings about what has happened, just announcing the 'risk' of something happening or 'likelihood' of having already occurred) and then hanging in the wings putting pressure on the reporting parent to take necessary steps to 'protect' the children from abuse, and if that parent doesn't sufficiently protect the children, subtly implying that they may at risk of intervention by CP too. In that way, they can subtly influence the situation to keep parents in line without having to actually physically intervene.

That doesn't seem to be what's happening here though.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Ok another thought...
Offer dad a few 'long weekends' per year. In your letter to solicitor advise that the practical realities of the situation, especially the distance mean that shared parenting 50/50 isn't gonna work long term. But you appreciate dad wants to be actively involved with the child and as such maybe the kid could do 2-3 nights a fortnight as the routine, but dad has the opportunity to have 7 days straight during school time 4 times a year - one per school term, but he has the obligation to get the kid to and from school.

Discuss...
See that sounds more reasonable than you wanting dad to 'agree' to relinquishing parental responsibility... It makes it look like you're looking for solutions to make this work...
 

Concernedmum01

Well-Known Member
11 September 2021
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Yeah, I did cover that.

I think I may have wasted my time doing it all. Had CSA call me about the debt he bas and what care etc. They casually mention that he said he had filed for court against me... I find this out 2 hours after I write something.

Then dad contacts me wants to know when he can seen toddler and how he is. Tell him when and to let me know, send a bunch of photos and no response at all.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Ok, there is a chance he is telling CSA he filed for court because that is a tactic to get them off your case (in the short term). Look if you write to solicitor offering reasonable consent orders he can withdraw court application.

I strongly advise you to seek to be nice. It isn't just good playground advice.... It will make you appear better in court AND long term, it is best for all concerned, especially the child...
 

Concernedmum01

Well-Known Member
11 September 2021
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Ok. Sent the negotiations via registered post and email to lawyer, let him know.

Checked with the FCCoA and nothing has been filed but can call every couple days to keep checking if he tries ex parte so I can respond before it gets heard.

He asked for time, have offered time and schedule. So far he has read but no response. I had previously not responded to the threat he sent, I have a feeling he want hoping I would not respond again.
 

Concernedmum01

Well-Known Member
11 September 2021
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Ok, there is a chance he is telling CSA he filed for court because that is a tactic to get them off your case (in the short term). Look if you write to solicitor offering reasonable consent orders he can withdraw court application.

I strongly advise you to seek to be nice. It isn't just good playground advice.... It will make you appear better in court AND long term, it is best for all concerned, especially the child...
So update...

He rejected regular time and daily video calls... via his lawyer. And threatened recovery order application again... no response on the proposed consent. And no more msgs or updates from csa.

But he shaved all his dreads off and his beard...

Dcp closed case, I don't know the outcome on his end as I do not know if they make separate decisions for parents that are split up. On my end un-substantiated because I sought medical care and they didn't get to view the injury as it had healed and the potential our child did it to himself... god knows how, he has had plenty of falls and never bruised like that... even if that were the case it was not my original concern...

Now... he is making false reports about me... I know it is him due to the report details. He said I leave toddler home alone... which I have never done and never would do. The specific detail of it... the report left out my other children completely. Which tells me he is using a time where I walked out the front of my house to move the car back onto the driveway from across the road and his mum rocked up (legit I saw her and she saw me) kids let her inside because they knew if I was outside or in the shower the only person they are allowed to let in is grandparents and parents. She straight away text him saying I left our son home alone... leaving out my other children and the fact she saw me just across the road... less than 10 mtrs from the house...

But he told them i leave just toddler for hours... 40 min convo and they said they are closing it and putting a family violence note on the file. But ive not received a letter yet and im concerned there will be more knocks with more false claims.

I havent been served with anything, I engaged with a lawyer and she agreed to help with a proper notice of intention... except I havent heard from her since the meeting (29th sept same with dcp visit).

I am at a loss as what to do at this point...
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Do nothing... and dont waste $ on solicitors. Just do nothing. The child is with you right? Make dad do the work if he wants... You've tried...

Now don't fret and DCP - I reckon more than half their calls are separated parents trying to mud rake.
 

Concernedmum01

Well-Known Member
11 September 2021
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Do nothing... and dont waste $ on solicitors. Just do nothing. The child is with you right? Make dad do the work if he wants... You've tried...

Now don't fret and DCP - I reckon more than half their calls are separated parents trying to mud rake.
Yeah,

Child is still with me. And I have been told that.

Hes been paying for tgb lawyers soooo he will deffs be wasteing a lot of $ lol
 

Concernedmum01

Well-Known Member
11 September 2021
30
0
121
Do nothing... and dont waste $ on solicitors. Just do nothing. The child is with you right? Make dad do the work if he wants... You've tried...

Now don't fret and DCP - I reckon more than half their calls are separated parents trying to mud rake.
So got served today...

Affidavit - full of lies like... omg so many right from meeting, childs birth and nicu stay, my adhd diagnostic process... exchanges... wow did not think someone could lie so much.

He got an urgent hearing... 22nd nov

Ahhhhh I mean its easy to prove all of it false but wow... the disrespect...