QLD Can I Charge Ex-partner's Girlfriend with Assault?

[BS83GR81]

Last night I was involved in a Domestic Violence incident. I was picking up my child after she had spent the weekend with her father and his GF and her kids. There was some previous conflict regarding drop off/pick up location prior to this.

When they arrived, firstly, she gave me the finger, so it was already heightened. He and her then began to verbally assault me and she opened my car door as I was trying to leave and refused to let it go after asking on multiple occasions. I ended up reversing slightly after warning her to let go.

She let go but then he opened the back door and continued to verbally abuse me and she was holding it open again. Eventually after I profusely refused to engage with them they moved away. I reached around and shut the door. They proceeded to yell and scream at me. The whole time my daughter was in the car sobbing. I was trying to get away. In my haste, I reversed into another parked car with no occupant.

I drove away after getting the number plate and called police link to report the incident. Police have it on file and because I had a reasonable excuse to leave, they won't be getting involved in the traffic incident. Police instructed me to get another DVO against him. I have had two in the past. They however stated I couldn't get one on her as we were never involve intimately and not currently in an intimate relationship.

My question is, can she be charged with assault or harassment? Is there anything I can take out against her?

She was incredibly aggressive and has always been extremely rude to me, not even saying hello back when things have been civil in the past. I am extremely concerned she (and him) will continue to verbally abuse me in the future during any changeovers. I am applying for a DVO today and sorting out the insurance for the car and going to go back to family law to change current orders that aren't being followed.

 

[sammy01]

Look, taking this up with the police might cause more hassles than it is worth. I'm concerned the cops are saying they can't do anything about the woman.. There are AVO's that relate to people who are not or have not been in a relationship. But if the cops don't want to pursue it, my concern for you is that they will learn that they can get away with this sort of stupidity...

Can you give us a bit of context? What happened leading up to this insanity?

My opinion? Write an email to the ex...

"Dear ex, When I came to pick up (child's name) there was an altercation between myself and you and your partner. Our child should not be exposed to these types of situations. I am requesting that you agree that from now on we meet at a neutral location and it is my preference that you do not bring your new partner where ever possible. I would like to suggest McDonalds (or any other sensible location). Can you please confirm that you agree to this change?"

Now a few more thoughts... You said the orders are not being followed? how so?

 

[AllForHer]

Well, there's a couple of options.

The police are right in that you don't fit the bill for a DVO because of the relationship requirement, and they're unlikely to press charges for harassment or any other crime because if you, dad and dad's partner were the only witnesses, there's probably not enough evidence to successfully prosecute, and police won't press charges if there's not enough evidence to support the charge in Court.

In light of the above, you can file for a good behaviour order under the Peace and Good Behaviour Act.

An alternative, if you're looking for a more long-term solution, is to invite the ex to mediation to discuss changeovers and possible alternatives that mean the child isn't exposed to conflict.

Some alternative changeover suggestions are:

• move changeovers to a public location, such as a mutually agreed McDonald's restaurant or a police station;
• make changeovers at the house into 'drop-off' changeovers, rather than 'pick-up changeovers - you drop the child off at dad's, dad drops the child off at your's (the difference is that you can stay in the car and let the child walk to the front door on their own, so you don't have to speak to dad or his partner);
• see if you can get an agreement that new partners will not attend changeovers;
• go to Court and seek an injunction that she is restrained from attending changeovers.

The goal should be a long-term solution and doing your best to minimise the conflict. If they don't want to play ball, fine, but generally speaking, most people find that if they change their own behaviour, the person with whom they are in conflict will start to change their own behaviour, too.

 

[BS83GR81]

Prior to this we were texting regarding pick up location. I refused to have him at my house for changeovers. Both him and GF were texting trying to get me to pick her up from their house an hour away and making childish remarks and comments.

They had driven and picked her up from a school function on Friday night and felt I should drive to pick her up from their location an hour away. I just wanted to keep it at previously agreed upon half way point. And my point was that because she had a school function on during his time with her it was his responsibility to arrange pick up.

I could have given in and agreed to pick her up then drive to half way point but I have begun putting in firm clear boundaries and consistency regarding parental responsibilities as he tries to always change it and it messes up any plans I have.

With regards to current orders not being followed. Arrangements are supposed to be 50/50 one week on one week off. Three months after it began he phoned and said he couldn't do it so it went back to (with verbal agreement) him every second weekend. This has gone on for a few years now. In between lots of cancellations and DV between him and GF's etc. He then later moved an hour away with a new girlfriend and is now complaining about the distance he has to drive to see the kids. I reluctantly agreed to a half way point.

 

[BS83GR81]

It was at a McDonalds attached to a servo and they have cameras so the whole thing would have been caught on tape.

Thanks for the info regarding a good behaviour order. I have heard of these.

 

[Migz]

This will sound completely stupid but as you are in Queensland you can do the following...

1. Do nothing with regards to DVO or Good Behaviour Orders or Assault Charges. Let them think they got away with it... you wear it on the chin this time.

2. Go see a seamstress or a sewing machine lady...Get her to make up a vest/harness with velcro on the side for easy removal. You get her to put a tight fitting pocket in the front. You slide your phone in their with the camera facing outwards and recording at handovers. (I do this at each and every handover now and what do you know...handovers run like a dream now, all for $20 bucks and a tailor made harness)

3. Should they be stupid enough to carry on at any further handovers you then have all the proof you need to get any charge or dvo or good beh. Order in place.

4. Write the email as Sammy said be courteous and outline that you were not impressed with the previous hand over...take out the emotion stick to the facts...

Make it point form. Just to have on record that the previous handover was less than adult like. I wouldnt worry about the exs partner being their...my ex can bring the whole town for all I care...as soon as any of them step out of line they are on camera...and as I said its put all that to bed.

5. Keep the pick up point to the halfway point and at maccas as you already are. To bad if they picked her up from school. Geeez our orders are written I have to do daycare pick ups 5km from Mums and 35km from Dads...its not worth bitchen over...i get to see my daughter that what matters.

6. Take the high road dont get bogged down in their verbal war its not worth it. Our hand overs are practically silent now and military like... no more carry on from the ex trying to upset our daughter at handovers...its bliss. Should of had the harness built way back at the start.