QLD Did I Breach Domestic Violence Order by Emailing School?

[Dwayne Harry]

I am separated from my wife and our 2 children attend the same school together. The children reside with their mother and will not allow me any contact with them at all. There is much conflict between my wife and I, and she has had me falsely charged and convicted of domestic violence. I have never harmed her in any way, neither would I.

Out of concern for my children's welfare, I recently sent an email to an administrator of the school which my children attend, explaining them of the situation and everything I stated in the email was the complete truth.

I have now been charged with a "Breach of Domestic Violence" for sending the email to the school. According to the Police, the breach was in relation to "The respondent be of good behaviour to the aggrieved".

If I have not contacted the aggrieved, my wife, and have stated the truth, which can be proven, and my main intention was for the wellbeing of my children, then how have I breached the order with regards to "good behaviour".


I am completely confused!

 

[Rod]

What do the orders say you can/can't do? Maybe you contravened a specific provision of the orders?

I'm not sure of the consequences of breaching the order, however, if it involves jail time you should see a lawyer for advice.

BTW, why did you send an email to the school?

 

[Dwayne Harry]

What do the orders say you can/can't do? Maybe you contravened a specific provision of the orders?

I'm not sure of the consequences of breaching the order however if it involves jail time you should see a lawyer for advice.

BTW, why did you send an email to the school?

Hi Rod, thanks for your reply.

I mainly sent the email to the school advising them that I had commenced legal action against my wife and that it may affect the children adversely. I requested that they keep an eye on my boys and any change in behaviour. I also asked them to tell my children that I love them and miss them very much.

In hindsight, it wasn't the smartest move I've made as it could embarrass my wife, but it wasn't sent with any malicious intent, it was just out of concern for my boys.

 

[AllForHer]

Okay, so...

Whether you can admit this or not, what you've basically done is tried to recruit the kids' school as an adversary against their mother in Court proceedings.

You've insinuated that any adverse behaviour the kids might show is most definitely because of her, and you have asked them to report it to you, as though you intend to use it as evidence against the mother in Court.

You've basically acted to say to the mother "I am watching you everywhere".

That's intimidating behaviour.

If your focus is only on the best interests of your kids, you'd realise that acting in the best interests of the kids means shielding them as best you can from conflict. If you invite the school, the local hospital, the frequents at the pub and Old Maisy from up the road into your family's dispute, all you're doing is recruiting, or trying to recruit more people to hate on your kids' mother. Not only is that an extraordinarily poor tactic for your case in Court, it also fuels the conflict, which doesn't benefit you or the kids in any way at all.

So my suggestion to you is to keep your family dispute between you and the mother. The kids' school is an education provider, the extent of their involvement in your kids' lives is to provide their education, so the extent of your involvement with them is to find out how the kids' education is going.

Your contact with them should be "I just wanted to get a copy of my kids' report card sent to me, if I could, please" and "When is the next round of parent-teacher interviews and can I organise one for myself". It shouldn't be "Hey, there's court proceedings afoot" and "Let me know if you guys spy anything that I can use against the mother in court".

I'd suggest being more careful about how you proceed with your case.

 

[sammy01]

Mate, farting is a breach of AVO... Didn't you read the conditions on the thing?

I'd be going to court and grovelling. Even contacting the school for a parent-teacher interview is technically a breach if the kids are protected people according to the avo. Depending on how serious the magistrate takes this you could be facing jail.

Now get yourself booked into mediation, call relationships Australia. It won't work but it is a start.

Right now your world is collapsing. Stay calm. Things will get better as long as you start making good decisions. So start making good decisions.

Just so you know, I've been where you are. Toughest days of my life. Within about 6 months I had 4 nights a fortnight, after a year I had 5 nights. and these days the kids live with me and see their mum a few times a year...

Mensline is a good place to google, they provide online counselling, finding a men's support group is a good idea

 

[Dwayne Harry]

Hi all,

Thanks very much for your comments. They have been extremely valuable in pointing out my error. Now that I look at it retrospectively I can definitely understand that whilst I thought my intentions were in the best interest of the children, they can actually be more harmful to them.

I guess I just became frustrated as I haven't seen them in 2 years and all of my "legal" attempts have failed thus far as she keeps conjuring up false allegations of domestic violence to keep me away from them.

I am an honest person and I tell the absolute truth when I say that I have never harmed her in any way, however, I am not void of making mistakes due to pent up emotions of frustration and grief from missing my kids.

One recent example is that I was charged with a breach of DVO for finding out where my wife lived. Once again I had to spend another day in Court where I was able to provide evidence that the only reason I knew where she lived was because it was provided to me on a previous Police charge sheet for another false DVO. Fortunately, the charge was dropped but once again it caused me tremendous stress.

Due to the Police providing me with her address, I have known for many months where she and our children reside, however, I have made absolutely no attempt to go near her residence as I am abiding by the conditions of the DVO.

I am trying to do everything according to the legal processes and restrictions imposed on the DVO, but there will be times when I will misinterpret certain conditions and make errors. None of which will be an act of violence.

I will ensure from now on that I seek appropriate legal advice prior to making any uneducated assumptions.

Thanks again, and never forget to hug your kids. They are precious.

 

[AllForHer]

Are there concurrent proceedings afoot in the Family Court for parenting orders?