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QLD Mothers Rights to Naming Child's Surname - Verbally abusive father

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by DoraMai, 12 April 2015.

  1. DoraMai

    DoraMai Member

    12 April 2015
    Likes Received:
    Hi there. I'm due to give birth in September. The father and I are not married (de facto) and are having issues with the relationship. Though the father is really looking forward to having a child, his temperament towards me since finding out has been most upsetting. Verbal abuse and threats have resulted in me seeing a therapist, reduced to tears everyday. Regardless of what happens, he says he will provide for the child. Though he keeps saying that I take his all his money (he agreed that he would support me as I'm a tradie and my work is not safe for pregnancy) and threatens to leave me high and dry. I have applied for Centrelink and have been applying for other jobs as with his temper, I could see this happening.

    I have decided that I do not want to give our child his name, but rather both hyphenated. I do not feel his actions are in my best interest, he doesn't care if I'm crying or upset. He said that if I don't give the child his name ONLY, that he will try and gain custody and even lie about the child's living circumstances and my ability as a parent. I'm really just with him out of fear. All love is lost and I would be a lot happier without the emotional trauma. He tries to make up with after the horrible displays, but I feel this is just due to him wanting to prove that he tries. He can't remember half the things he does as he is a heavy drinker but readily admits that he was trying to hurt my feelings.
    I have text messages to prove his insults and thoughts (he works away).

    I feel worthless and useless whereas I used to be strong and independent. I have always provided for myself since I have had a good career since I was 17. I can't imagine how I have found myself in this situation. I'm truly broken and just want to care for and love my child without his horrible nature bringing me down.

    Where do I stand?
  2. Victoria S

    Victoria S Well-Known Member

    9 April 2014
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    Hi, he doesn't have the right to force you to make your child's surname only his. Hyphenated names are acceptable, see: Husband and I have different surnames, whose name do the kids take? | Legal Aid Forums. If you can't agree, you can apply through the Magistrates Court to get the surname that you want for the child registered, see: Registering and changing a child's name

    I don't want to make assumptions, but from what you've said above, I think you need to read this information on domestic violence:
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...

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