OK, so I understand that in Victoria, smacking (as long as it doesn't result in serious harm) isn't actually illegal, but I wondered how family law views it.
Long story short, my 4 year old daughter (who is quite a 'sensitive soul' recently told me that her mum smacks her and it hurts and makes her cry. She also yells and screams at her and her 2 year old sister. The mother has a long history of being violent (with me) when angry, and loses her temper fairly easily, so I'm not entirely surprised to hear this.
The mother and I don't have a good relationship (she's taken out a bogus IVO against me which has now expired, made other very serious accusations against me that were false etc) and although we have interim court orders that specify we are to communicate with each other about parenting matters by email, it's fairly strained and guarded communication. We're in the Family Court trial pool at the moment, so won't have any court hearings for a while (6-12 months minimum? who knows?).
I sent the mother an email advising her of what my daughter has been telling me in detail, and asked her to respond. When she did respond, it was again very guarded and didn't admit to having done anything wrong (yelling, upsetting and smacking etc), and simply stated that my daughter had nothing to fear from her and that she confirmed she disagreed with physical punishment of children. Which is all well and good, but ignores the elephant in the room - my daughter has effectively come to me upset that she has done it. I don't think she's trying to play her parents off against each other, she's a bit young for that and it isn't really in her nature.
So my question is, how would you handle this, given it's not strictly illegal but would probably be considered less-than-ideal parenting in the 21st century, and from what I understand, child protection isn't going to get involved when it's just 'regular smacking' and parents getting angry and frustrated and making their kids cry. It seems that it falls outside of what is considered actual abuse, but is serious enough for the mental wellbeing of children that it shouldn't be swept under the carpet and ignored. Is this the sort of thing that family court would actually care about though? Should I try to push the issue further with my ex, or just stay silent and save it for an affidavit?
And Sammy, I can already hear your advice from here. "Have a cuppa, don't worry about what the ex is up to, and just try to be the best parent you can."...?
Long story short, my 4 year old daughter (who is quite a 'sensitive soul' recently told me that her mum smacks her and it hurts and makes her cry. She also yells and screams at her and her 2 year old sister. The mother has a long history of being violent (with me) when angry, and loses her temper fairly easily, so I'm not entirely surprised to hear this.
The mother and I don't have a good relationship (she's taken out a bogus IVO against me which has now expired, made other very serious accusations against me that were false etc) and although we have interim court orders that specify we are to communicate with each other about parenting matters by email, it's fairly strained and guarded communication. We're in the Family Court trial pool at the moment, so won't have any court hearings for a while (6-12 months minimum? who knows?).
I sent the mother an email advising her of what my daughter has been telling me in detail, and asked her to respond. When she did respond, it was again very guarded and didn't admit to having done anything wrong (yelling, upsetting and smacking etc), and simply stated that my daughter had nothing to fear from her and that she confirmed she disagreed with physical punishment of children. Which is all well and good, but ignores the elephant in the room - my daughter has effectively come to me upset that she has done it. I don't think she's trying to play her parents off against each other, she's a bit young for that and it isn't really in her nature.
So my question is, how would you handle this, given it's not strictly illegal but would probably be considered less-than-ideal parenting in the 21st century, and from what I understand, child protection isn't going to get involved when it's just 'regular smacking' and parents getting angry and frustrated and making their kids cry. It seems that it falls outside of what is considered actual abuse, but is serious enough for the mental wellbeing of children that it shouldn't be swept under the carpet and ignored. Is this the sort of thing that family court would actually care about though? Should I try to push the issue further with my ex, or just stay silent and save it for an affidavit?
And Sammy, I can already hear your advice from here. "Have a cuppa, don't worry about what the ex is up to, and just try to be the best parent you can."...?
