NSW kids sleeping in an RV

[sammy01]

Kids live with me. Spend some time with mum.
Mum now lives in a 1 bed unit. Kids are sleeping in her RV on the side of the road, she sleeps in the unit. Ages? 7,9,12.

Any thoughts?
Context - there has been some Doc's involvement - kids going back to school after a visit with mum and telling teachers about being smacked, slapped on the face, left alone for extended periods while mum goes out? how long? don't know - kids too young to do time all that well but possibly a few hours.

I really don't wanna deal with this. I'm thinking just suck it up, not enough to withold the kids? But I'd like some opinions please?

 

[miguel]

Docs would have possessed if they thought the risk warranted it. What's the chances you could get mum to house the kids inside through dialogue?

 

[MartyK]

Has anything been substantiated by FACS? - if not, I tend to agree with miguel - 1st approach - discuss with the mother - if you cannot do this directly, mediation assisted

 

[sammy01]

yep sent an email expressing concerns and asking her to sleep in the van with the kids. She tells me she is... But the kids tell me she isn't.... Sadly, think i'm just gonna have to suck it up.

 

[miguel]

If the genders where reversed, mum would confiscate the kids no problem. What are you thoughts on denying access?

 

[Rod]

I wanted to reflect and consider the best option so waited till this morning to reply.

A number of factors to consider including what do the kids want to happen.

Assuming your time with the children is not at risk with DOCS involvement, then I'd wait, watch and assist with their investigation and postpone a decision until they'd done their work over the next few weeks.

Assuming your kids are not at risk in an RV, they may see it as a bit of an adventure, a touch of freedom while mum is still close by. You've said the RV is expensive in previous posts so it should be well equipped and warm enough.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Call her local council/shire and seek their stance on people sleeping in an RV whilst parked on the side of the road - private property or not.

From what you've said about your ex in the past, you've got a battle on your hands no matter what.

And I get what Rod's saying about the comfort level of the RV, but I'm assuming it has a kitchen - so stove top, hot water etc. I'd be worried about young kids being left unsupervised in there. I wonder if the RV has a smoke detector?

 

[sammy01]

Thanks samjay. That is good advice about calling local council.

12 yr old tells me she sleeps on the dinning table that converts to a bed. I worry about a gas leak. 12 yr old is reluctant to go. Not just because of the rv. Think i will let it go for a while and if the kids refuse then i will go from there.

It is bad parenting but i have no confidence with docs.

 

[Nonfiction]

The kids live with you...how often do the kids see mum sammy? If it’s just EOW or something similar...they are with you for the most part. Without some kind of proper backup from docs i.e. more than just a notification of the allegations being reported by the school ...such as a written report from docs themself or some kind of firm opinion from them saying mums behaviour is definitely out of line...then I can’t see you getting too far with anything atm...more headache than it’s worth

You would not be the only parent in a difficult situation where the kids have raised/alleged similar things and nothing much has been done about it. My view, re: your situation...if the investigation is still open - wait until you find out what they have to say about it all, go from there. If the investigated is now closed...and nothing has come from it, there is not a lot you can do right now but keep a close eye on things (maybe ask the school to do same). If you did withold...what kind of evidence would do you have to back up the reason for withholding?...school report, docs substantiating the reports?

 

[sammy01]

So ther previous Docs stuff is on file, but that is it. Thinking I could notify them so there is a record. And non-fiction, you're right. Not worth witholding. To answer your question not every other weekend. 10 time a year. Slightly more than half holidays and a few weeks off school throughout the year to spend a week with her... Far from ideal...

And sadly, I know some of the kids i teach live permenantly in caravans / tents. These kids are in an expensive RV... I suppose the kids, especially the eldest was whinging about it... When 12 yr old girl is a 14 yr old girl and wanting her privacy I reckon she will make an issue of it...

But thanks for the opinions.