VIC Getting an Earlier Hearing for Interim Orders?

[NEEMA]

Hi

My ex has put a false allegation Domestic Violence case against me. I was removed from my house, separated from my children. The police has applied for the Intervention Order. I was told in the court If I accept the IVO without admission I will be able to get to see my children.

I have pleaded guilty without submission. Since then, in a way, I lost my children. My visitation depends on my ex's approval. I became a modern day slave, keep her happy and then I get to see my children.

Since 2 months, my ex has not provided access to see my children as she wants to get our relationship back and I decided that I can't go through that torture. She is using my kids as a bargain chip. She basically said to my face I will never see my kids without her. I tried mediation, which she did not attend. Finally I went to Federal Circuit Court for two things:

1) Stopping children abduction out of Australia

2) Get an Interim Order to see my children two days a week.

The judge has kindly stopped the children from being removed from Australia. However, he gave a date for our Interim order which is in 6 months. I'm totally devastated. My ex is so happy that things went in her favour.

It's been 2 months since I even heard my children's voices. Why does it take 6 months just to hear an interim order? I don't see how this can be in any way the best interest for the children.

Has any one of you gone through this situation? I'm totally shocked with the way the police and the justice system works in Australia. My ex just made allegations. I'm totally kicked out of the home and stripped out of my rights as a father.

My son can't stay without me. Every time I drop him to his mother's house, he cries and tells me he doesn't want to live with his mother, He must be going through a lot emotionally.

I have approached the register in court - He said they can't do much as the judge was the one who proposed the date. What can I do to approach Honorable Judge to reconsider the date again?

Please help me.

 

[sammy01]

Yes I have been there too.

All I can say is that you stay strong. You will be seeing your son soon enough. The Australian system is very slow but I do think the magistrates get it right most of the time.

For the minute, just do what ever the solicitor tells you and do not get in any arguments with your ex-wife

 

[AllForHer]

Yes, it sucks, but this is the challenge of the Family Court to manage a teetering case load while grossly under-resourced.

In the meantime, politely ask mum to see the kids every two or so weeks, and every time she says no, just say 'No problem, just let me know what days suit'. Don't have an argument about it. The more often she refuses, the worse it looks for her in Court, because no judge likes a parent who refuses to facilitate a relationship between parent and child.

You might also consider enroling in a post separation parenting course and organising mediation again. The Court likes a parent like you who is determined to work together with their ex to raise the kids, and it doesn't like a parent like her who refuses to play ball.

 

[Hoang Trang]

This is so sad to read. Hang in here buddy.

 

[MartyK]

Since 2 months, my ex has not provided access to see my children as she wants to get our relationship back and I decided that I can't go through that torture. She is using my kids as a bargain chip...

It's been 2 months since I even heard my children's voices. Why does it take 6 months just to hear an interim order? I don't see how this can be in any way the best interest for the children.

My son can't stay without me. Every time I drop him to his mother's house, he cries and tells me he doesn't want to live with his mother...

Could you please clarify the underlined above, as on face value, it would appear that you are seeing your children

Finally I went to Federal Circuit Court for two things...2. Get an interim order to see my children two days a week.

Why does it take 6 months just to hear an interim order?

Again, could you please clarify. Are you asking why the interim orders you are seeking for two days are week were not heard? Or, are you asking why you have not been granted any time with your children until the interim hearing, listed for 6 months time?

Whether or not it is a good idea to be contacting your former partner, even about additional time with the children, at this point in time, will be depended on the circumstances surrounding the DVO and other additional information before the Court to which we may not be aware.

Do you have a lawyer?

How old are the children?

 

[NEEMA]

Hi All

Thank you so much for your reply. It means so much to me.

During the Intervention Order I have a clause that enables me to arrange time with the mother in written to see my children. Also I can be with in 5 meters. However I can't go with in 200 meters. However, she has given a written consent letter, allowing me to be in 200 meters.

I normally send her a text message to see my children. I did see my son once in a fortnight or some times once a week, usually that's Saturday. My ex doesn't drive, so I do all her housework from morning to late afternoon, I drive them around. During that time, I get to spend time with my son. Also if she is happy with me, I can keep my son for that night and drops him next day morning by 10am.

I've been trying to get a parenting plan since Aug-Sep 2016. She was not ready to negotiate. She likes the power she has. Once a parenting plan or consent order is in place she can no longer do what she is doing now. I have 2 boys - one is 5 years old, and the second one is just 4 months. My eldest is the one most attached to me. I don't get to spend time with the youngest. Only a max of 1 hour till date, he is too small.

Allforher - I have been communicating through text messages, and will continue to communicate there. She was furious that I went to court. She has blocked my phone no. I will email her and I will ask my lawyer as well to send her mails. Basically, my ex called my lawyer and blasted her, she herself is surprised by my ex's short temper.

MartyK - Yes, I used to see my son before with mother's written approval. Now due to circumstances, she has stopped from Jan 2016, that's when I saw my boys. Given my ex is not allowing me time with my kids, I went to court.

Until the final order is heard, I requested for an interim order so that I can see my children. The judge said if I want to see my children, arrange it with the mother. Until the Interim order is heard, which is in Aug 2017, my intervention order will end in May 2017.

My children were in more danger of being removed from Australia to my ex's country, which is not a signatory of Hague country. I'm pleased at least my children will be in Australia and I'm thankful for that.

I have requested for interim order to be heard as an urgent matter. My ex came to court with my 4 months old son in the court room. I asked to spend 2 days for my eldest son and 1 night with the youngest son as he is mostly on formula. She came with youngest to the court, but not with the eldest one as he will run and come to me and she can't do much drama with the eldest one.

She literally made a show in the court with the youngest one. I can see why the judge and the court staff is enamoured by the 4 months old baby. I felt the judge was more favourable towards her. I do have a lawyer, but the judge basically slammed my lawyer as she tried hard for interim orders to be heard.

My eldest son 5-year-old, one day in Dec 2016, opened the house door and ran away from the home early in the morning towards my house as I live close by. My ex called me. I was devastated and ran in the streets to look for my boy. Finally my wife found him near the park, as he lost his way.

My son very clearly told me "Baba you don't come to see my so I wanted to come to you". My lawyer told the same thing to judge, but he just disregarded these as allegations only, as I don't have proof. How can I get a proof for some thing like that?

Well as a father, I will try until my last breath to see my children. Next week I'm seeing my lawyer. I wants to discuss what more options we have really.

I would like to thank you all for you taking time, giving me hope and strength. I'm very much obliged for your help, it means a lot to me.

 

[MartyK]

Well as a father, I will try until my last breath to see my children. Next week I'm seeing my lawyer. I wants to discuss what more options we have really.

Yes, definitely have a chat to your lawyer to see what your opinions are before the next Court date.

If the Judge made the current orders with the expectation that mum would in good faith allow you to spend some time with your children, and mum is not allowing you any time, then your lawyer may be able to write to her lawyer to sort something out. Possibly even file an application in a case? Your lawyer is in a better position to tell you what is possible.

In the meantime, completely up to you of course, and just to assist you with some of the emotional difficulties of Court and not seeing your children at the moment (it would certainly be very difficult for you), you might consider speaking to a counsellor. Or even linking up to a support organisation such as DID's (Dad's in Distress), who have a lot of experience with fathers going through parenting matters and in situations like your own and who can offer you some moral support. Like I said, completely up to you.

Let us know how you go. Good luck

 

[0cool]

Hang on there mate.

My case started in mid 2015, when my ex removed my daughter from our matrimonial home without warning with the help of Family Centre Ladies and 2 small kids (my neighbour witnessed this). I guess the kids were brought in to entertain my daughter when they pretty much stole my belongings ( the house is under my name, because I bought prior to our marriage).

This is Australia. Hiding my daughter for 120 days without giving any access (3 years old) = Legal

Did I ever have any AVO in my life? = No
Was I ever interviewed by police? = No
Did I smoke weed, illegal drugs, smoke, etc = Never in my life

I work hard to support my family, pay mortgage, food, etc

Noted:

Our names were in the waiting list in the local family centre near where we live for counselling. Suddenly without any notice, when I was at work, 1/2 of the stuff at home were removed (including bed, mattress, you can name it) by a professional.

How do I know it is the work of professional ? (How can my ex leave with half of the detergent in the laundry room, and took only 2 pairs of cutlery instead of all of them?)

Family centre stabbed me in the back. "Wow, there is a case here, let's make some money; the more case we (family centre) have the more government grant will receive and the staff can keep their job".

Look at how shiny all those family centre building in Sydney. When family centre says it's about the well being of the child, it's all lip service only. That's my opinion.

Family Centre should at least contact both parties before making a decision based on just what 1 party said, specially if there is a very young child here.

I was left with no choice but to go to court as my lawyer's emails were not being responded to for 3 weeks. My email was also ignored, mediation not responded (ground for certificate 60i to be issued).

All of those above are legal, yes legal. My friends even said, this as 'legal abduction'. My lawyer said "It is legal to do so, if you don't apply in court then you may not see your daughter for 3-4 months! And even if you apply now, the mention will be in 3-4 months times, which is true"

First hearing (mention) is in 4 months. I submitted the application in court, then I was forced to attend "supervised visits for 12 weeks". $330/visit to see my own daughter for 3 hours once a week.

Supervised visit reports = 12/12 perfect, no flaws. I can look after my daughter very well. I am very well prepared for each visit, brought toys, keyboard to play, Ukulele, things that me my daughter used to play together before being separated.

Even my lawyer shake her head, what on earth my ex is trying to do, other than alienate my daughter with me.

Now I am still waiting for the Family Report to be scheduled and still no overnight time yet (because my ex refused to even let my daughter have overnight time once a week to start with).

It is almost 2 years now and it is still going. Did my daughter want to have overnight time? I asked my daughter, she said "yes". See how arrogance and how selfish person my ex.

The Family Law needs a revision, it's not in the best interest of the child at all and allowing someone to put false allegations without any consequences.

So much money has been spent for court, supervised visits, lawyer, etc, and it should have better spent for my daughter education instead.

Even with very limited time given (1 day weekend) to see my daughter, I spend quality time with her to play on the beach, parks, Luna Park, cooking, baking, playing music instruments, at home, etc.

My suggestion is to keep yourself busy mate, just busy with anything. Work, Sport, Hobbies, etc. This will let the time pass by a lot easier.

Take care

Note that any insight I provide is not legal advice. The only suggesting I give is to seek legal advice.

 

[NEEMA]

Yes, definitely have a chat to your lawyer to see what your opinions are before the next Court date.

If the Judge made the current orders with the expectation that mum would in good faith allow you to spend some time with your children, and mum is not allowing you any time, then your lawyer may be able to write to her lawyer to sort something out. Possibly even file an application in a case? Your lawyer is in a better position to tell you what is possible.

Let us know how you go. Good luck

Hi,

Thank you for your reply. I have contacted my ex, she is still not allowing me to see the children. She is replying back to me to stop harassing her. My lawyer is still busy, moved my appointment to next week.

I have a question.

Until Feb 2017 I normally pay for my children and ex's expenses and etc. During the period where I don't see my kids, I was told not to pay the expenses as my ex is using the money to destroy me and until she is comfortable, she will not come to the negotiation table.

I'm the breadwinner and my ex doesn't work. She gets the money from Centrelink, Apart from that I pay around $1500. When it goes to Judge, if i stop paying the expenses, how this will reflect on my part? Will it be a negative reflection?

Appreciate if you can share your experiences and guidance.

 

[NEEMA]

Hang on there mate.

My case started in mid 2015, when my ex removed my daughter from our matrimonial home without warning with the help of Family Centre Ladies and 2 small kids (my neighbour witnessed this).

It is almost 2 years now and it is still going. Did my daughter want to have overnight time? I asked my daughter, she said "yes". See how arrogance and how selfish person my ex.

The Family Law needs a revision, it's not in the best interest of the child at all and allowing someone to put false allegations without any consequences.

So much money has been spent for court, supervised visits, lawyer, etc, and it should have better spent for my daughter education instead.

Very sorry to hear what happen to you. Social workers, family centers have such a sick state of mind. All these people - I don't understand how they can sleep by breaking people's homes and ruining other's lives.

I guess they don't care as long as they get enough funds from the gov't. I'm very surprised your case has been going on for 2 years, do you have any indication it will be completed?

My lawyer first told me it will finish in 6 months before I file the case, I just started now. Looks like I have long road ahead.