VIC Forfeit Parental Rights and Responsibilities

[Zarbba]

My ex-partner and I split up just under a year ago but we continue to be friends and we continued to sleep together. She has fallen pregnant now but we both understood that I did not want children while she did and that if she fell pregnant she would keep the baby but that I would not act as a parent. She's seems completely fine with this arrangement but just to protect both of us in the case of a change of mind I'd prefer to have some kind of legal grounding that I have neither rights nor responsibilities as a parent. I am just wondering how this could be done? I definitely don't want to force her into anything but assuming she is willing I feel we'd both feel more peace of mind this way; me that I won't be asked to become a father later down the track and her that I won't suddenly start demanding custody.

 

[Tim W]

You can stay away from the child's life all you want,
and you can get Consent Parenting Orders (once the child is born).

But - you don't get to evade your obligations to pay child support.
At all.

 

[Atticus]

I'd prefer to have some kind of legal grounding that I have neither rights nor responsibilities as a parent. I am just wondering how this could be done?

Parental responsibility can only be removed by a court or by you agreeing to someone legally adopting the child..... The courts view is that it's in the childs best interests that sh/e has a relationship with both parents... Can't be forced obviously, but I doubt you could get a court registrar to agree to a parenting consent order that removes your right to ever see the child...

 

[Zarbba]

You can stay away from the child's life all you want,
and you can get Consent Parenting Orders (once the child is born).

But - you don't get to evade your obligations to pay child support.
At all.

Hi Tim

Ok so if she wants to ask for it then I will be required to pay child support. That's really up to her in the end although my current understanding is that she won't. I would like to clarify what you meant by Consent Parenting Orders. What are these? Why (or why not) would I want them and how would I go about getting them if I wanted them?

Thank you for your help.

(I had to repost this as I accidentally replied to the wrong post. Apologies)

 

[Zarbba]

Parental responsibility can only be removed by a court or by you agreeing to someone legally adopting the child..... The courts view is that it's in the childs best interests that sh/e has a relationship with both parents... Can't be forced obviously, but I doubt you could get a court registrar to agree to a parenting consent order that removes your right to ever see the child...

So essentially the kind of arrangement I am describing doesn't exist? Thank you for your help and honesty.

 

[Atticus]

So essentially the kind of arrangement I am describing doesn't exist? Thank you for your help and honesty.

Only where a court has ordered it .... No agreement between you will be worth the paper it's written on... she should apply for child support, the child deserves your financial support if nothing else.

 

[Atticus]

You could seek a consent order that gives her sole parental responsibility.... That would at least allow her to do things such as get the child a passport or make long term decisions regarding the child without the need to consult you or get your signature on documents, But I really doubt a court would approve an order that prohibits you any contact or for applying for orders, ever, just because you both want it... When it comes to children, the family court is primarily there to uphold kids rights... If a court removes a parent due to violence or abuse for example, that's deemed necessary to protect the child... totally different then what you propose

 

[Zarbba]

You could seek a consent order that gives her sole parental responsibility.... That would at least allow her to do things such as get the child a passport or make long term decisions regarding the child without the need to consult you or get your signature on documents, But I really doubt a court would approve an order that prohibits you any contact or for applying for orders, ever, just because you both want it... When it comes to children, the family court is primarily there to uphold kids rights... If a court removes a parent due to violence or abuse for example, that's deemed necessary to protect the child... totally different then what you propose

That all makes sense Atticus. Thank you for your help. I guess the way we were thinking about it is that she was planning on doing IVF anyway and that we'd like to arrange something reminiscent of that type of circumstance with me acting as the donor. However, if it's not possible it's not possible and that's just a fact of how the situation is. I would like her to be able to make the sort of decisions you describe above without my consent as it's likely in the future we will live in different states or even countries.

 

[Atticus]

I guess the way we were thinking about it is that she was planning on doing IVF anyway and that we'd like to arrange something reminiscent of that type of circumstance with me acting as the donor.

For the purposes of the family law act, a donor is a person who provided genetic material in an artificial conception procedure .... It appears you did it in the old fashion way.

Had she been in a relationship with someone else & you provided material in an artificial conception procedure, you would not be deemed a parent of that child, but rather the intended other parent would be (if they had known & consented to the procedure)

 

[Zarbba]

For the purposes of the family law act, a donor is a person who provided genetic material in an artificial conception procedure .... It appears you did it in the old fashion way.

Had she been in a relationship with someone else & you provided material in an artificial conception procedure, you would not be deemed a parent of that child, but rather the intended other parent would be (if they had known & consented to the procedure)

Thank you again. You've been very informative. I think everything will work out ok anyway but it's good to know where everybody stands and what the law says. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain that all to me.