NSW Ex Bypassed Family Dispute Resolution with Lies - Recourse?

[DadonaMission]

My ex has put me through hell. I had only supervised access to the child prior to the interim hearing late last year, where we won overnight access for the children. Things have been going really well with the kids and me.

She bypassed compulsory Family Dispute Resolution and entered the family court system by telling lies via her unethical lawyer using the Non-Filing of Family Dispute Resolution Certificate and the Notice of Risk.

She stated that amongst other things I had been physically violent with her during the marriage; I'd pushed her and slammed her into walls, etc. This is so far from the truth. All of her statements were lies.

Late last year, we settled financially around the same time as the Interim hearing during the conciliation conference.

The judge has decided nothing and we could easily have gone successfully through mediation. Apart from losing a lot of money, I honestly almost lost my life going through this stress of the accusations and losing access to the children.

Now the ex wants to meet and cooperate and be friends. She's just purchased a house and her finances would be very tight, therefore, I believe she simply can't afford to be in court any longer.

I have no problem with cooperating apart from the following where I need help on how to resolve:

- These lies remain on paper in the affidavits. If they remain disproven, then one day my children may read them and what are they to believe? I'm thinking of asking her to write a statement that she's lied or I will need to proceed in court.

Can I continue with court proceedings to have these removed? I don't necessarily want more time than I've been awarded at interim with the children, so what would my application to the court be for in order to continue to final hearing? Should I change my application for sole parental responsibility?

- Regarding the professional misconduct of her lawyer. As an example, there was an interim AVO (which I subsequently had dismissed at Local Court) where the alleged facts state I moved a chair in her way to stop her following me as I was leaving the house. Her lawyer changed this for dramatic (misleading) affect on the notice of risk to "The father threw a chair at the mother narrowly missing her". I am considering a formal complaint to the NSW Law Society.

My ex and this lawyer used lies and manipulation to enter the court system, so easily. It was a terrible experience, cost me money and my health and I wouldn't like it to happen to others.

Any help or thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[AllForHer]

This is basically what it's like to be in the family law system, so unfortunately, my suggestion is nothing more than 'rise above it and move forward'.

The affidavits will not count for much in the children's eyes if they never see you behave in the way the mother described, but if she is looking to cooperate and reach consent orders, then ensure you include a clause that prevents either party from showing or discussing any component of the court proceedings, including any documents filed or not filed, with the children.

The lawyer is just being a lawyer. He gets paid to try and win, so just accept it as him doing his job and move on. My husband does all the IT for his ex-wife's solicitor and they're on good terms, but that doesn't mean we don't get threatening correspondence from them in relation to the pending litigation. It's unpleasant, sure, but it's their job.

I realise you will be looking for closure on this. Proceedings are deeply hurtful and can sunder the co-parenting relationship irreparably. But holding on to it will cause more pain than it's worth, and isn't that what the ex wants?

Focus on getting consent orders in your favour.

 

[DadonaMission]

Great help as usual. Thank you.

Lawyers should act ethically and competently.

 

[AllForHer]

They should.

But they're lawyers.

 

[okanynameyouwishthen]

Hell no! OP, please lodge papers on that pondscum. It's primarily because of this type of filth that this country's Family Law system is the shameful debacle it is now.

 

[AllForHer]

@okanynameyouwishthen If you keep filing new proceedings in a Court that is governed by old laws, how are you reforming the family law system? It doesn't matter how many battering rams you aim at the Court, it can't change the legislation that governs it. Wouldn't it be more productive to rally behind legislative reform that improves the family law system not just for your benefit, but for the benefit of the 200,000 families who enter the family law system every year?

 

[okanynameyouwishthen]

Sorry, I got so p*ssed reading thread. I could've explained more. I was thinking more along lines of commissions or tribunals these soulless showboaters are members of..