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NSW Custody of Children - Father Leaving for UK

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Bellissimo, 12 April 2015.

  1. Bellissimo

    Bellissimo Active Member

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    Been informed by my kid's father that he's leaving Australia and going to live in the UK. He currently has the kids every other weekend and school holidays ( custody of children).

    He didn't talk with me about the decision, just sold it to the kids that they could go for holidays, told them first then told me via an email. Didn't ask me if it was ok for me to take them full time (though obviously I love my children so I want them, but there was no consultation)

    So can he just go without discussing or agreeing on anything with me? He can just say he'll be gone in 6 months and that's that?
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    If he's the non-residential parent, he doesn't need to consult with you about relocating, because the relocation doesn't impact your capacity to spend time with the kids. If you relocated, of course, it would be a different story.

    It probably is a good idea to discuss how the kids will see their dad while he's in the UK, though, and even though I'm sure it may cause some anxiety, the kids holidaying in the UK under their father's care is probably going to be a very positive, rewarding and exciting experience for them. It might be a good idea to discuss their passports, schooling and other matters before be relocates.
     
  3. Bellissimo

    Bellissimo Active Member

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    Thanks for your response on the legal question i asked.

    Whilst I appreciate you're trying to put a positive spin on how my kids will appreciate their holidays and i know you're just trying to be kind, you don't know my kids and the absolute sh#tstorm of rubbish their father has put us all through in the last few years. This is obviously his final step in abandoning his children which has happened gradually since we split up.
    I doubt very much he'll continue paying child support, he'll attempt to go off the map at some point and i will once again have to watch my children going through the utter disappointment when they realise that their father has finally left them.
    he has a great paying job here in nsw, has absolutely no reason to leave the country and so much for australia encouraging relationships with fathers and their kids when it allows someone to walk out on them with a few weeks notice. That's a disgrace. He's only going to follow his dreams, screw his kids over in one final attempt and wants me to agree to him seeing them for 2 weeks in a year. why would they even bother?
    i will be agreeing to precisely nothing until i get a legal agreement from him concerning what's absolutely best for our kids and have that registered in a court so that i can go after the prick when he reneges on his agreement, like he's done on every single one for the past 12 years.

    what would be 'positive and rewarding' for my kids would be not having a psychopath for a father who feels he can trip off to another country because it's his 'dream'. i'll be certainly writing to the minister for children about this. and i'll be seeing my solicitor.
    Thanks.
     
  4. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    I think some good legal advice will be a positive service to you because it seems the level of conflict between you and the other party is still quite high and there are a number of contending statements in your post that might need addressing from a legal perspective. We provide general information and considerations on this forum, and we don't propose to know the finer details of any one person's circumstances. I do apologise, though, if I have offended you by proposing actions that are otherwise expected of parents with legal shared parental responsibility.

    Let us know how things pan out. It might be of help to other parents using this forum.
     
  5. Bellissimo

    Bellissimo Active Member

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    actually there's no conflict from me. i've spent the last 12 years doing the absolute best for my kids and encouraging their relationship with their ever diminishing father and his family. i remarried, my husband is fabulous with my sons. my ex continues to be obstructive, obtrusive, non communicative, speaks to kids about major things before me, decides not to pay child support or lies about how much he's earning, reneges on the parenting plans constantly, lies, cries in front of the mediators so they side with him.... it's just a ridiculous chain of constant mess which we are all trying to move on from.

    you didn't offend me, it's just your personal opinion that irked me so my apologies if that came across badly. whilst the law in australia sees this as the 'ideal' for parents and children, it is certainly not ideal in situations where there has been domestic violence and the ilk and that's well acknowledged. my ex has opted out of his obligations from the very start and now sees this as a perfectly reasonable move. in his communications, he almost comes across as 'high' in his responses and proposed solutions. it's insane.

    he's walking out on his kids completely and he's totally happy with it - actually, thrilled. he has an escape finally. having reached some sort of equilibrium for my kids through working hard and being there for them, once again he throws everything into turmoil because he can.
    quite literally he's thrown this at me and wants me to agree to a long list of stuff. i am stressed and it feels totally wrong to be putting two young children on a very long flight with no adult supervision. just wrong, esp when it's his choice to up and leave.

    i'll let you know what the solicitor says. if it helps anyone else it will be worth it. hopefully i can get some documents lodged at court so there's some redress when he decides he's had enough.
    thanks for your advice, appreciate it.
     

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