Custody of Children - Changes to Existing Family Court Orders?

[Strongarms38]

This is a sticky situation. Claims of abuse are very serious. Your lawyer may be doing the right thing by you by letting you know that you may not get that which you wish for. When abuse is raised its a very serious issue. If you don't have concrete proof to support your allegations then you should expect your wishes to be dismissed. If unsuccessful in providing solid proof this could back fire on you. Seen as sour grapes and little more. Most lawyers should explain this too you. Any family lawyer should provide you the legislature in your state regarding the courts opinion on what constitutes domestic violence or child abuse. If your claim isn't in those court documents then your lawyer is right to caution you regarding this action and that the outcome you would like may not be possible. Solid proof is required whenever you make a claim. Otherwise it will be dismissed and shine an unfavourable light on you as potentially untrustworthy. Definitely not the outcome you want. Evidence is key to any claim. The children of old enough can indeed be given their own lawyer who'll be solely responsible for the kids best interests and also their wishes. This has the potential to end badly for you. Maybe not but its a risk you need to be aware of. No lawyer can offer certainty. It's not within their power. You can obtain recent court activity from the courts online website. You may get lucky and see a similar case to yours and what the outcome was. You may find nothing even close. The system works slowly and a bad lawyer working on the other side can hold up proceedings for a long time. This only makes your situation worse. You want to avoid name calling and any negative emails and txt's between you both as they can be used against you either in court or to stretch out proceedings to further upset you. Letters from lawyers back and forth cost a fortune. Your better to obtain a your information and go into proceedings where the questions are directed at your ex rather than being the one needing to defend your position. If you submit claims of abuse you'll need to supply evidence to back up your claim. Now the questions are headed at you. I'd rather be the one awaiting the other parties response rather than being the one questioned.

 

[AllForHer]

Allegations of abuse are serious - which means the court doesn't consider them lightly on any level, including where there's a chance the allegations were fabricated by a vexatious party. On more than one occasion, the court has cited false or unfounded allegations as grounds for changing a child's residency.

I am not saying this is your situation, but I think it's important to have a close grip on the reality of the situation before bogging down for more court proceedings. The court doesn't like family matters, and it likes repetitious family matters even less. The court already decided once that it was in the kids' best interests to live with their dad and didn't deem step-mum to be a risk, so I would say that dad has the upper hand on this one.

If you want 50/50 care, you also need to show that you can communicate with dad to solve problems as they arise, and making allegations of abuse against step-mum on the word of your kids is probably not the best way to go about it. At 11 years of age, you also need to question whether the kids are just labelling discipline as 'abuse' to you because they're not getting all the freedoms they want. Kids are spectacular manipulators (even though we hate to admit it), and they are especially well-positioned to play mum off dad when their parents aren't together anymore.

If you seek change, first try having a child-inclusive mediation session with dad. Litigation really isn't the way to go, I don't think, and I would also argue that if you're looking for court intervention as your first point of call, the conflict is still high, so even if you did live closer, the court probably wouldn't find grounds to recommence proceedings under Rice & Asplund.

Just my thoughts.