VIC Untrue Intervention Order Allegations - What to Do?

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Ally W

Member
21 June 2018
4
0
1
Hi there,

I am looking for some help, please. Sorry, complicated issue. Will try to make this as succinct as possible.

Basically:

I am step-mother of child (6), hubby and I had 6/14 nights care of him for over a year. Prior to that, it was every weekend (more when she needed a babysitter), since he was 18 months. We have three other children in our care majority of time (blended, happy family and no issues with other parents).

Mother of (6) has personal grievance, and ultimately denied all care to us from April because of her feelings (money issues, why do we get to build a house and go on holidays, etc). No history of domestic violence /neglect from my hubby. They engaged in mutual (petty) name calling at times over text, however, it's very limited occasions and no threats or violence.

I have all the evidence in the world to prove our case in Family Court.

She failed to engage in mediation, which we tried to initiate in March immediately upon noticing her begin to stop our time with him. We have the certificate and it was issued end of April.

Prior to any orders being made and after failing to engage in mediation, she untruthfully told the school that hubby was a danger and (6) would be at immediate risk of harm if in his care. Unaware of this we attended to collect him from school on our normal day and the entire school was put into lockdown and (6) hidden in a "safe room" to protect him.

After this event, she then brought an interim IVO against my hubby in May - her allegations are all untrue. We were not even in the state on one of the days she claimed in her affidavit that an event occurred. He is contesting the IVO or intervention order and I have all evidence to prove his case again.

IVO allows contact to arrange care of (6).

Since the IVO was served, she has called our phones and taunted us with (6) not being allowed to come to our home. We listen to (6) crying on the phone, begging us to come pick him up and her laughing at us, knowing we are helpless.

Two days ago she turned up at our home in construction (no idea how she knew the location of it) and blocked my hubby's car in driveway. She then taunted him in front of (6) who was in the car with her.

Basically, we now unfortunately need to cross apply for an IVO (such a waste of the Justice system's time, preventing the real victims from accessing fast help). In our IVO we will be seeking no contact whatsoever unless through a lawyer.

Our main reason for this is to protect (6). We are scared she is going to emotionally traumatise (6) by continuing her contact with us as he is always listening to her or in the background when she calls. We know that he misses us but she has proven she has no interest in allowing us contact with him until Family Court has finalised (months and months away, so unfair).

Secondly, I feel she is deliberately engaging in this behaviour in order to bring false accusations of breaching the IVO against my hubby.

Thirdly, we are emotional wrecks and cannot stand hearing this child calling out for us on the phone and being helpless to do anything. If we remove ourselves as targets for her, she won't be able to put (6) through any more upsetting and confusing conversations.

When applying for this, we know that we now will have no contact with (6) at all until Family Court issues interim orders. We understand that in doing this, contact with him will likely have to be staggered in the beginning however we ultimately seek 50/50 care. We are truly doing this to protect him sadly, it truly is in his best interests.

My question is, could us initiating the IVO, effectively having no contact with (6) at all actually backfire on us in terms of having no contact with him in a long period of time? The last time we actually had (6) in our care was April 2018, we do not even have a court date yet at Family Court ($9k later with our lawyer still to file, that is another issue entirely...)

Thank you all and sorry for the long post.
 

Been2Trial

Well-Known Member
12 July 2017
100
18
454
Hi Ally,

Sorry to hear you are going through this, it certainly sounds like a terrible situation to be in and I feel for you. Having a difficult, vindictive ex makes what can be a fairly straight forward and co-operative process a virtual nightmare. It sucks when the poor child is stuck in the middle of that too.

You're situation isn't all that uncommon but has some difficulties in which I have no personal experience, being the allegations involving IVO's - so unfortunately there is not much I can add in the way of helpful advice here. There are a couple of regular posters on here who I know have experience in that area who I am sure will reply soon!

Good luck, I hope you can get something in motion asap.
 
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Lennon

Well-Known Member
11 September 2014
270
36
719
Yes I think having that kind of IVO could definitely back fire in the family court.

Is there any reason why you couldn't ask for an IVO restricting contact to writing (email or text) rather than restricting contact altogether?
 
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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,154
721
2,894
Don't do the IVO. Too much mud throwing.

Get to family court and make a nice picture of how well everything was going and that the ex stopped giving access. BTW the school was well out of line - I'd be having a meeting with the principal... Be nice about it...

If she comes to your house, call the cops. Do not answer phone calls from her. And depending on the terms of the avo do not even text her. So what is happeneing atm? Are you seeing the kid as previously?

So has solicitor written to her?

My opinion as far as solicitors go. They are good for court. Everything else you can do yourself using resources found online, like this site.
 

Ally W

Member
21 June 2018
4
0
1
I’m honestly going to tell you that I never thought of that! So embarrassed right now. I’ve been so consumed with reading all legislation I can that this option did not even occur to me. So simple. Thank you

Yes the solicitor has sent her the letter outlining our position and providing her the opportunity to try another mediation but she did not respond. I think you’re right. Avoid IVO, just ignore her calls etc. we have not seen the child apart from a brief encounter the other day when she blocked hubby's car in the driveway of our soon to be new address. Thank you for the information and help.