VIC Untrue Accusations in IVO

[Luke86]

Hi Luke here,
I was recently served with an IVO from my ex girlfriend. We broke up 18months ago and I have had a very difficult time mentally trying to deal with it. I have seen doctors and I speak with psychologists. We agreed that if we felt like we would think about self harm we would contact each other.
I have been wanting to get back but she has made it quite clear that she does not want me. For a few days I was very close to ending my life and just wanted to hear her voice. She blocked me but I did leave a couple voice messages. Nothing threatening, I just said that I missed her and I was feeling very suicidal and wanted some help. I didn’t hear anything so yes I did call a couple more times. Once it became clear that she would not respond I called her for the last time saying I would not longer contact her and was sorry for the calls.
I was then contacted by the police and they gave me the court documents and interim order. I broke down in tears and even the officer had a long chat with me telling me that it’s common and no one is worth ending your life. I owe him a great deal.
However in the order she has stated that I have been calling her and trying to contact her through social media. Each time more emotional (TRUE) and I accept responsibility for those actions.
BUT she also states that I have been driving past her and her parents home in the middle of the night. Then says that the calls are often when she is alone which she then says makes her feel that I’m drive past her house. UNTRUE
I have not been near her house in more than 18 months because she dumped me at my home.. and its for her to say that I do drive past then says she feels I do is very contradicting.
These false claims she has made has had a great impact on my mental health made me feel worse then I did before because I am being accused of being a stalker.
I fully accept the things that I did do but I am devastated with the false claims. Can I do anything? Ask for a written apology in court after owning the things I actually did? Is there a legal case I could make against her mental damage she has done? would appreciate your help and I am sorry for the insanely long post

 

[Scruff]

You contacted her for help and rather than provide help or contact someone else to help you, she took out an IVO. That may or may not have been warranted, but the simple fact is that she didn't show any concern for your wellbeing - it's very important in your circumstances that you understand and accept that.

Another thing is that it's not as easy as what is true or false. In situations like this, perspective plays a big part. What I mean is that you need to look at why she may have made those claims. If your phone calls and social media contacts caused her any anxiety at all, then she could easily start believing that it's you every time a car drives by in the middle of the night. She may well be wrong about that, but it could be that she believes she's right, simply because she's scared or whatever.

Because of your health issues, seeing her again under any circumstances could easily do you more harm than good. My advice would therefore be to let it go and make looking after yourself your top priority. It sounds like you've taken a lot of steps in the right direction and taking legal action against your ex could undo all of that.

One day at a time, one foot in front of the other and so on. Putting the past behind you and keeping yourself moving forward would be the best thing for your health at the moment. It would be best for you not to risk that, especially when there is probably nothing to be gained from taking such a risk.

Kudos to the Police too for handling the matter the way they did. It's nice to see something positive about them on here for a change.

 

[Luke86]

Thank you for your reply and advice. Having thought more about it I think you are right. No good will come out of it. I should just leave it and move forward with my life otherswise as you said I may go downhill if I pursue it.
Thank you for your help.

 

[Atticus]

My advice would therefore be to let it go and make looking after yourself your top priority. It sounds like you've taken a lot of steps in the right direction and taking legal action against your ex could undo all of that.

Totally agree.... Luke, consider giving these people a call for help & support through this difficult time.... There's nothing they haven't heard. You can be totally open & honest with them >>> Online Counselling Registration: Talk to a MensLine Australia counsellor

 

[Scruff]

No worries Luke. Good advice from Atticus too - I've heard a lot of really good things about the service that Mensline provides.
Best of luck mate and look after yourself.