Shared Custody of Children - Is Parent Living Too Far Away?

[mierd]

Hi,

Generally speaking, what would be considered too far a distance for 50/50 care? More specifically, if parents lived 50kms from each other and the children attended school in the area that one parent live, would it hinder the chances of the other parent being awarded 50/50 shared care or custody of children?

In this instance, the parent that lives 50kms away from the children's school has a flexible job and would have no issue at all attending school drop off and pick ups.

Hope this makes sense and appreciate your feedback.

 

[AllForHer]

How old is the child?

 

[mierd]

They are 5 and 7.

 

[sammy01]

I would have done 50/50 are if the ex allowed, but I did 60/40 care with a 60km drive between. I'm a teacher in a rural location, so often it is a good idea to live a distance away from the students. That said, 60km in the country is 40min. Some city folk would commute 20km slower.

Look, really the distance only matters when it becomes impractical. While not ideal, I don't think the time in the car is grounds to change parenting.

Can you give a bit more detail about your situation?

 

[AllForHer]

It's sort of hard to know. I think your biggest challenge here would be persuading the Court that the daily drive to and from school is something the kids can cope with.

Personally, it was never an issue for me. We caught a bus for an hour each way and it had no negative effect on us at all. Like @sammy01 said as well, in the country, a drive of 50kms can mean only 25 minutes in the car, which is what a lot of kids do in suburbia anyway.

But parents in separated situations tend to make mountains of molehills and will complain the children 'get tired' or 'have no time to do their homework', while the other parent will argue that it's wind-down time, that it's time used to bond on a one-on-one basis, that kind of thing. I would say it really depends on your situation and how long a drive across 50kms actually is.

 

[Alan Blumberg]

All about what is best for kids. Is it really practical to expect them to do all that travel ?

 

[mierd]

Thank you for your responses.

The drive is a country drive of 35-40 mins. The kids are currently with me 3 nights a fortnight and I would like for that to increase over time and build up to 50/50 as the children get a bit older - this option to review the current arrangement is a clause in the current orders.

I anticipate the other parent making the distance an issue so I just wanted to understand what would be considered too far a distance. Unfortunately, the other party will make any argument not to increase the time the children spend with me. Even if it does suit me, I would not pursue if it meant that up to 40 mins each way on the kids was too much travel for them.

 

[sammy01]

40 min is nothing. But my concern is the "option to review the current arrangement is a clause in the current orders".

I smell a rat. Reviews suck. Review for the purpose of giving you less time. She'll relish - review to give you more - forget it.

So ask for more time - when she says no, ask why.... When she says because 40 min is too far, then offer to move closer. Ask her is 30 min, ok? What about 20 min? Small sacrifice, but I reckon it is worth it.