WA Seperated and wife refuse to work or put child into daycare

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Christopher74, 19 September 2018.

  1. Christopher74

    Christopher74 Member

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    Hello all,

    We have recently "separated under one roof" because we cannot afford two places a month ago. If we actually separate there is no way I can pay child support, spousal maintenance, and pay the mortgage so we will default on the loan and she knows this.

    We had an agreement when married that she would be able to stay home and take care of the kids (currently 7 , 5 and 3) and would go back to work if she wanted when the youngest was in school full time. Now she cheated on me and refuses to put the 3 year old in in daycare because she doesn't want to and she doesn't want to get a job and continues with her affair. She just wants to continue to cheat on me while not working and doing whatever she wants while spending the money I worked hard for to try and provide my family with a decent lifestyle at the expense of my own.

    I do 2 weeks on 2 weeks off FIFO offshore full-time permanent roster. Even the quickest divorce possible (11 months before I can even file) I will gain 20000 a year in super and add 40000 per year equity into the house. So probably another 120000 in assets considering a 2 year from now settlement.

    Is there any recourse for me here because obviously she is just going to claim that she will deserve spousal maintenance for years because she will be unable to get a job and have to retrain even though she could be doing that right now!!!!!. She has a degree in commerce and could easily get a decent paying job if she wanted to. Is there any legal thing I can do to make her put our three year old in daycare and work to pay some of the bills now instead of milking me for the next few years?

    Instead she is doing that online selling stuff that is considered a hobby. I have paid for everything the entire time we are together but now that we are separated I just don't see how its fair that she can just sit around doing nothing all day while I continue to go to work and increase the asset pool for the eventual divorce settlement while she cheats on me.

    Regarding Joint Credit Cards. I don't want her to have access to the card anymore but is it considered financial abuse if I cancel her card (because there is nothing to stop her from racking debt up and withdrawing cash etc) and then instead reimburse to her own private bank account any legitimate children or household expenses? Our assets aren't much after we sell the house we would be left with 100000 and then I have super of 100000. The minivan we have is in my name and paid off and worth 35000. I would seek 50% custody of the children and whoever has the kids has the use of the minivan.

    She knows if we go to court we will both end up with just debt. What is the best thing I can do here? There is no chance of reconciliation. What is my best plan here to save me the most money and get the most time with my kids? I don't care if we sell the house right now. I also don't care if we default on the mortgage to force the bank to sell it because my credit rating will easily be repaired while she will struggle. Luckily she insisted that her name be on the title and mortgage and some of the bills I can default on as well if needed.

    I would gladly pay for 50% of daycare expenses.

    Regards, Chris
     
  2. SamanthaJay

    SamanthaJay Well-Known Member

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    Christopher, I'm sure one of the others will answer most of your questions but let us just get one thing straight here - I doubt your wife is sitting around doing nothing all day. You have a 7, 5 and 3 year old. You are home 2 weeks then not home for 2 weeks. Your children and the home do not take care of themselves whilst you are away. Your wife's contribution in this way is equally important as your financial contribution is. That is how the Court will look at it.
     
  3. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    sell everything.
    Forget swapping who has the mini-van. It will cause fights.
    Spousal maintenance? doubt it and if she did get it then it would not be for long.

    If you guys can communicate nicely, try and have the discussion. Sell the house and when it sells pay off all debts, split what is left/ 65/35 (ouch) I know but that is what a court is likely to do. And get an agreement around the kids.
    You could propose she gets all the $$$ from the sale of the house and you get the super. That close to a 50/50 split but she get the benefits of the $$$ now, while you'll have to wait till you're old and you're also running the risks involved. What if there is another GFC for example. IF you got that and she agreed to 50/50 with the kids that would be a good result.

    Alternatively it is court and or lots of money spent on solicitors writing letters two and fro

    Don't bother about 'legally' making her work or put kids in care or anything else. Think long term and playing nice is the best way to keep it out of court. Once the house is sold you go your separate ways with her having close to $100 000 in the bank. What she does with it is her business, but it will stop her crying poor

    sure you'll be paying child support - but the formula that is used by child support is pretty reasonable.
     
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