VIC Police Not Doing Anything About Abusive Boyfriend?

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26 August 2018
Hello I’m writing on behalf of a friend who is desperate for help.

My friend's ex boyfriend is a narcissist. For the past 10 years he has abused her, sexually, emotionally, mentally, financially and so on. She tried to break up with him but he would not leave. They have three kids together and when she would threaten to call the police. He would guilt the children by saying “Mummy wants daddy to go to jail” or he would yell and carry on in front of them.

When she finally did call the police, the first question the male officer asked her was what did she do? Like it was her fault. Last year, after they had been separated, he would constantly just turn up at her door barge in like he owned the place and force himself on her. This happened nearly everyday even if the kids were there. His parents know what he was like. They know everything he has done and know that he is a narcissist but they refuse to admit it or get him help because they live by appearances.

At the start of the year, she tried to get him charged for r**e, sexual assault and strangulation. He even admitted to threatening her and strangling her, she was in and out of the cop station for weeks making statements and then a month later she was told their is no case. She was able to get an intervention order put in place.

A couple of months ago, they both attended a mutual friends engagement party, the mutual friend promising her ex boyfriend would be gone or would leave when she got there. He did not leave, their three children were also in his care for the weekend (he gets every second week end) the second youngest seemed quite sick and my friend was concerned that he had even bought her there. Her ex boyfriends family was there so she went inside to tell them to take her home she is sick and all of them started screaming in her face while she was holding her sick child.

Full grown men yelling centimetres from the child’s face. My friend ran outside still holding the child and her ex boyfriend mother stops her and also starts yelling then try’s to grab the child. The child does not want to go and starts screaming, my friend pushes the mother’s arm away and finds a way to leave the party with her two little ones.

The very next day my friend reports a breach of the intervention order. A few weeks later her ex boyfriends mother files charges against my friend for the push.

None of them have seen the children since, the ex boyfriend and his mother even got an intervention order placed on my friend.

We found out yesterday that the police are fast tracking the case and we will have to go to court in a couple of weeks. They have done absolutely nothing about the ex boyfriend breaching the order.

My friend is going to get charged for protecting her child when her ex has gotten away with r**e and attempting murder.

She is an awesome mother and simply just a beautiful person and these disgusting human beings have ruined her life.

She can’t apply for legal aid because they already have, even though they own a company and my friend is a single parent. She has tried everything and is just at a lose. I don’t know what to do, for her to be charged is just unfair. There is no justice.

Please someone gives us help on where to go and what to do. The police don’t care and believe everything these people are spinning.


26 August 2018
We can’t afford a lawyer. The police won’t even take statements from my friends witnesses.


Well-Known Member
5 January 2018

I am very sorry to hear about your friend's issue, it is very bad and hard. In order to have a charge stand you need evidence to support the allegation when reported, when I say allegation, I mean this is what is it until it is proved, then it is a crime.

Technology is cheap these days, you can get a small camera which has good sound and video recording for a reasonable price, as your friend's partner has some habits which are "habits" which means he will do it again and again, then she can record one event and report it, this way your friend's has evidence to support her claim and that should speed up the process.

I know that recording is asking for your friend to go through one event but that is what needs to be done to become safe again. I am sure others will have a say about the above, either agreeing or disagreeing.

I hope this helps.

Good luck.
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