18, not without a very long and painful legal battle that will likely be unsuccessful, and not exactly. A judge can make orders for you to ensure the child is available to spend time with the father at certain times, and if the father chooses not to take advantage of those times, then that's his prerogative. A child's expressed opinion will be taken into account when the court is considering care arrangements, with the opinions of children over the age of about 12 being given more substantial weight than those of younger ages.