SA False Allegations from Ex Wife

[Timnuts]

Hi,

I have been the victim of false allegations of r**e from my ex-wife which is totally false because she doesn't want me to have any of the house property, money pool and zero contact with the children. She has even got sapol and every police officer defaming me in some way.

Every time I ring about an issue, their voice and attitude changes straight away as soon as I say who I am. I have plenty of documents to back my story up: journal entries, names, dates, badge numbers - I got it all. I just need some help.

With this subject, I have an AVO over my head because of these claims of false allegations of r**e which make things even harder.

 

[Rod]

Have you been charged? How long have you been separated? Are there any matters before the family court?

Keep tracking turned on your phone and carry it with you at all times. Recommend you only see her in a public place like McDonalds or KFC for child handover. Copy and print all text messages to and from her.

Do not contravene the AVO under any circumstances.

What do you want to happen out of all this?

Seems unfortunate but you may need legal assistance.

 

[Gorodetsky]

Hi timnuts,

Geez you are not having a good run are you.

I don't know anything about family law and I'm not a solicitor.

I've had false allegations though. Apparently r**e is the worst in that genre. You can get convicted on 'he said/she said' evidence. So I hope you haven't been charged.

I agree with Rod that you'll want a solicitor.

I recommend you do not give the police an interview without your solicitor present.

You should have by now gone completely no contact or communication with your ex. If not, do so from now.

Regards

 

[Timnuts]

I have not been charged, have not even been interviewed or spoken to by the police about this matter. Just an avo put on my head with these allegations of r**e, ran out of my own house, divided my family life, and I have not seen my 3 kids for close to 3 years now.

There are no matters before the family courts because I have run out of money. I have spent nearly $70k in the fight to see my kids. I also have not spoken to them for nearly 6 months because I have taken the no contact approach, because with the avo, it was amended to contact over phone and messages.

In this period of time, I was trying to work things out with her and I was actually living back in the house with the avo still in place. This was all going well until I decided I was not going to live my life leaving for work and then being invited back to my own property via text message.

One day, I just went to work and never returned.

This was when the nastiness began. I moved in with a friend and met another girl. She then dictated to me I could not have visitation rights and restricted my contact to the kids to 2 times a week. She did not provide a phone for the kids and they rang from her phone.

I have 4 counts of breaching the AVO for, once again, false allegations of abuse and harassment, which are still not finalized in court yet, for calling her about the children matters and property settlement and to talk to the kids.

I have printed all messages I have of her being nice and nasty. I want to see my kids, for one. I want all my human rights returned to me. False allegations revoked and dismissed. I want my property settlement that she won't give up and now it has been 3 years. I'm in financial hardship.

She has f****d my head up with more drugs and medication from the doctors than I have never taken before. I want compensation for all of this, and I want all police officers that I have named and badges written down in police reports to be dealt with and punished for stripping me of all life's form of humanity, taking every right away from me as a human.

I was falsely accused of r**e, no charges laid and not spoken to or interviewed by these people. They call SAPOL and they have and are still abusing me, harrassing me. They're not serving and protecting, they're abusing their position of authority.

Example:

4 cars and 14 police officers have to come to my house, entered my house illegally - enter my room, pokeed me with a torch whilst still asleep and under a dosage of valium. They arrested me with a warrant they never produced when I asked for it, not even reading and /or finishing to read my rights to me arrest me and take me to the Golden Hill police station for an interview for breaching the AVO because I rang up asking about the kids and property settlement.

My ex claimed I was harassing and abusing her.

 

[Rod]

There are many issues in your post.

Sounds like you need to fight the battles you stand a chance of winning and forgetting about the others.

Visitation and property settlement are two things you can address. Read up on how to make a submission to the family court for both. If you are not divorced, get a divorce.

Recommend you forget about actions against the police. Police investigating police doesn't achieve much except more enmity against you. It is better to concentrate on helping your kids through life and being a good dad. Fix the issues that are preventing that from happening.

What is happening with child support?

 

[James12]

Hi Rod,

I have similar situation. My ex had an IVO on me. She denied any access to kids. I finally got an order from court to see the children under supervised time.

My question is, what possibilities will my ex try to make it harder? I know in one way or the other, she brainwashed them. Could she cause more trouble?

Thanks

 

[Timnuts]

I'm not paying it on the grounds and principles of her selling / trading my car to buy herself a brand new car for $30k approx, but would not settle the property matters first.

I have stood by this for nearly a year, as much as it kills me not to pay it and provide finance for my kids. She has done this to me by putting me into financial hardship and I currently have a workplace back injury and still on low workcover payments.

 

[Gorodetsky]

Hi timnuts,

Rod's opinion is good.

You probably ought to drop all the other matters and just consider access to your kids, property and getting the ex out of your life.

The conventional opinion on police complaints is to wait until other matters are resolved. However, having an open complaint that a cop (or cops) have behaved with bias may help counter the smear campaign.

Your ex has mental problems, personality disorder, who knows. But she is doing "DARVO" Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender

When I say no contact, I mean, don't take calls, don't take text messages. She's trying to mess with your head every time. No contact. You'll feel heaps better.

Good luck.

Regards

 

[Rod]

Hi Rod ,
I have similar situation EX had an IVO on me she denied any access to kids, finally got order from court to see the children under supervised. my Q is what possibilities will EX try to make it harder?? I know in one way or other she brain washed them, could she cause more treble?
Thanks

She may try to say you breached the AVO, even if you didn't. Or if the AVO is finished, make up an excuse for a new one.

Document all contact you have with your ex. If you have to reply, do it in writing, e.g. text msg or email. Stay polite and factual at all times, despite whatever provocation she dishes out. Women typically think things through well before men do, so assume she is two steps ahead of you. Women plan and plan and will save their plan for the most opportune times, and they can be very patient when they need to be. Don't not give them the chance. One slip can be all it takes for an AVO and change to custody orders.

Men typically are much simpler creatures. We act and react. What you need to do is modify this slightly - add a 'pause and think' before acting and reacting.

The above comments are a gross generalisation and you know the other party far better than me. Take some time out/away from the situation, clear your head, and think. Think about how you can change your behaviour to get a better result. You are most unlikely going to be able to change the behaviour of your ex.

Many kids are more perceptive than you think. While some fall for the brain washing, many don't. Just continue to love your kids, treat them well and do what you can, while staying well away from the ex.

 

[James12]

How could I thank you Rod, gentlemen!