VIC Contravention of final orders - when is it ‘worth’ doing something about it?

[lak82]

Thanks for any advice.

About 3 years ago, after several years and $120,000 in legal bills I received very strong final orders in regards to my (then) 14 year old child.

In short, the father lost all access, communication and parental responsibility and was ordered not to contact either of us except via a third party to update his address (photo annually provided to him). He was ordered that he cannot bring court action against me again. He was also ordered to pay all my costs (has not paid a cent).

Several weeks ago he emailed me directly claiming to have moved house and updating his PO Box mailing address. Which was the same as the postal address we have known for years. This was a clear contravention of the orders but I did not seek legal advice as I figured it wasn’t worth the time or money (I will spend my life paying back the original money). I also did not wish the trauma or further court stuff; not just to me but my child.

However, today he has sent a further email inquiring about sending gifts to my child (he has never sent one). I then checked my child’s social media account and saw he has tried to ‘follow’ them on a social media platform.

These are clear breaches of the orders which clearly state he cannot contact either of us. (The orders state both the child and mother need to be protected).

BUT my child is 17. I’m guessing any contravention I mentioned would be considered ‘minor’? I also don’t think we’d get to court in the next 12 months & even if we did, what would the outcome be? He doesn’t follow orders and I’m tapped out financially. Not to mention I can not put my child through that again.

On the other hand, I’m scared. We didn’t get orders like this for no reason. I’m scared for my child. The father has a history of contacting my workplaces and things like that. He’s not supposed to know where we live but it wouldn’t be hard to find out, as he knows my child’s school as he gets reports. The signs point to him starting up another campaign of harassment.

Any advice on what to do? I have zero belief that he has changed in any way, shape or form. I agree with all the professionals that he will only cause further damage to my child if he manages contact.

I’m guessing ‘talk to a lawyer’ would be the advice but anything other than that is appreciated. I will be speaking to the lawyer who handled the case, although he’s now at another firm. The case was so complex the idea of trying to unpack it with someone new is hugely triggering.

 

[sammy01]

Not legal advice. Emotional support advice. Do nothing. NOTHING. Just keep records, email yourself a summary of events. IGNORE everything. Anything you do will be inviting him back into your world.... My ex is still in my world, she has visits a few times a year. BUT I don't engage with the blah blah blah.
Legally, the contraventions are very minor. So courts will not help you. If anything it will make it worse because he will know his conduct goes unpunished. Hence he will know he can get away with a little bit more and a little bit more.... So road block. Ok rant over

 

[Rod]

Consider applying for an intervention order. Breaches of the IVO are enforced by the police, not you.

 

[lak82]

Not legal advice. Emotional support advice. Do nothing. NOTHING. Just keep records, email yourself a summary of events. IGNORE everything. Anything you do will be inviting him back into your world.... My ex is still in my world, she has visits a few times a year. BUT I don't engage with the blah blah blah.
Legally, the contraventions are very minor. So courts will not help you. If anything it will make it worse because he will know his conduct goes unpunished. Hence he will know he can get away with a little bit more and a little bit more.... So road block. Ok rant over

Thank you. I’m changing my email address this weekend. Time consuming but it’s an easy fix in terms of him contacting me. I will also change my number. My child has agreed to delete their social media, which they were in using a pseudonym and the profile photo was an avatar so no idea how he tracked that down anyway. Thanks for the emotional support advice.

 

[lak82]

Consider applying for an intervention order. Breaches of the IVO are enforced by the police, not you.

Spent two years prior to family court getting one of these. Was traumatic.

Do you know if I am able to use the family court ruling as evidence? The judge found he had committed family violence (hence such strong orders) but other than the contraventions I haven’t heard from him, although it’s clear he has no intention of staying away after the orders expire.

 

[Atticus]

Tend to agree with @sammy01 about doing nothing.
Your son will soon be 18 & if he has genuine fear can apply for his own private IVO through the local court (or police on his behalf if he has enough evidence to satisfy their involvement)
Can't see any reason the findings of the judge regarding DV couldn't be used in that application, as long as the DV related to your son.

 

[lak82]

Tend to agree with @sammy01 about doing nothing.
Your son will soon be 18 & if he has genuine fear can apply for his own private IVO through the local court (or police on his behalf if he has enough evidence to satisfy their involvement)
Can't see any reason the findings of the judge regarding DV couldn't be used in that application, as long as the DV related to your son.

The court orders state that both the mother and child need to be protected from the father. (Almost 100 pages - it’s a long one with a lot in it). Hopefully this makes it easier. I do not believe my child would be able to take out an AVO themselves. They have severed PTSD from the court process. Appreciate your thoughts and help.

 

[SLB70]

Hello, you sound strong just a bit worn down so again not legal advice but I’m presuming the IVO or DVO is still in place? If so I found going and chatting to a police officer about my options was very helpful (try to find a DV trained police officer, some states have “specialist” officers for DV). They were prepared to charge the party breaching the order or going to talk to him to remind him of the conditions and it helped settle my fears.
As for the outstanding legal costs, check out legal aid in your state as legal aid in Qld has a free call in advice line that you can book a call back one hour appt, as do other community legal services. I’d be interested to know how straightforward it is to represent yourself to have the costs order enforced via direct debit from his wages/bank account/tax return etc. even if it takes years of small instalments to recover? So many people representing themselves these days I think (Hope) the system is reasonably conducive…
Take care

 

[lak82]

Hello, you sound strong just a bit worn down so again not legal advice but I’m presuming the IVO or DVO is still in place? If so I found going and chatting to a police officer about my options was very helpful (try to find a DV trained police officer, some states have “specialist” officers for DV). They were prepared to charge the party breaching the order or going to talk to him to remind him of the conditions and it helped settle my fears.
As for the outstanding legal costs, check out legal aid in your state as legal aid in Qld has a free call in advice line that you can book a call back one hour appt, as do other community legal services. I’d be interested to know how straightforward it is to represent yourself to have the costs order enforced via direct debit from his wages/bank account/tax return etc. even if it takes years of small instalments to recover? So many people representing themselves these days I think (Hope) the system is reasonably conducive…
Take care

 

[lak82]

Unfortunately no DVO. I didn’t see the point in going through it again when the orders were so strong. I mistakenly believed they would cover it. I also just couldn’t keep going to court. This was 5 years of my life, and my child’s life consumed with this.

There definitely is free legal advice in Victoria (legal aid) who assisted with the first DVO (a two year process in the end) and they were next to useless. Which is why I chose to go into huge debt during family court. I needed lawyers who were reliable and who would somewhat ‘protect’ me from all the trauma. In my case, it was worth it. I do not believe that I’d have had a good outcome with legal aid.