QLD Custody of Children and After School Care - Concerns About Ex-Wife's Complaints?

If you have a consent order sealed by the court, then she will either need to get your agreement or apply to the court to have it changed. Otherwise, what the child does and who with when in your care is a day-to-day decision that doesn't require consultation with the other parent.

If she wanted to pursue new parenting orders, and cited the travel time as an issue, you could just as easily respond by seeking that the child be moved to a school that is an equal driving distance for both of you.

What is the relationship between you and your ex like? Is it usually fairly amicable, or is there some conflict?

If it's amicable, then perhaps you could consider saving the money on after-school care by having the mother pick the child up and then collecting the child from her when you finish work.

If there's any residual hostility at all, though, it's better not to do this. The less changeovers, the better.

Hi. Mate been there done that. Minimise contact / communication. By the sounds of things all of this is pretty recent. So NOW is the time to establish the rules you wanna live by as far as dealing with the ex...

My suggestion - Do not respond to anything unless you think it needs a response. Keep responses SHORT and focus on the court orders.... I'd suggest you write back and say something like -
Dear ex, can you please direct me to the section of the court orders that states that I need to discuss this with you. Alternatively, I"ll assume that we can consider this matter resolved...

If she happens to find something in the orders that she thinks relates to the matter, well then it is up to you... IF you think she is right and there is something in the orders then you'll have to discuss her concerns. However, mostly, what you do with your son when he is with you is of NO RELEVANCE to her...So it is likely you'll be able to respond with something like -
I don't consider there is anything in the orders that means there needs to be any further discussion. KIND REGARDS.

Mate especially when dealing with mental health cases, you really have to remove emotion. Just be factual and don't get caught up with the dramas...

Then just ignore it. Don't give her fuel to burn. Don't even acknowledge the comments about after school care.

A mediator is just there to mediate and keep the parties on track as they try to reach agreement. They're not there to make decisions for the parties or share their opinion about the situation.

In my view, though, I think your ex's issue is a symptom of just being a critical ex, rather than genuine concern for the child's well-being. Parents tend to raise the bar to unattainable heights when it comes to expectations they hold of their ex as a co-parent, and this is likely what's happening here. Ask yourself, would parents who were still married have concerns about the child's well-being due to travel times and before and after school care, or would it just be more of an inconvenience than an actual problem?

If it's not something married parents would call a problem, then it's not something divorced parents should call a problem (even though they often do).

Criticism about leaving kids with grandparents is a classic example - a co-parent will berate you high and low for doing it, while married parents do it all the time and celebrate the time off from parenting.

So, I would just ignore it. It's legally not her concern how the child is cared for while in your care.

I strongly suggest you do. Not hearing and considering the other parent's concerns tends to look bad in court if she does pursue court proceedings. Even if you refuse to her requests, it's better than refusing mediation all together.