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TeeTee

Active Member
19 November 2019
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0
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Has anyone got any experience with using a parent coordinator?

Pros vs Cons?

I’m after some shared knowledge and experiences.

Thanks.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
Are you talking about the various aps that are available? it sounds like hiring a service. Gonna be expensive. Surely it will be cheaper to make sure the orders are clearly worded so there is no wriggle room. If (like me) you have an ex that refuses to accept any version of reality other than her own, then I reckon it is a waste of money. WHY? well my ex would do dumb stuff. I'd write to her solicitor, and her solicitor would write back explaining the orders are now understood by the ex and it wont happen again. And then it would happen again. In short no court order or 'parenting co-ordinator' can compel a twit to stop being a twit...
 

ATE000Rosemary

Well-Known Member
9 May 2021
29
1
124
Are you talking about the various aps that are available? it sounds like hiring a service. Gonna be expensive. Surely it will be cheaper to make sure the orders are clearly worded so there is no wriggle room. If (like me) you have an ex that refuses to accept any version of reality other than her own, then I reckon it is a waste of money. WHY? well my ex would do dumb stuff. I'd write to her solicitor, and her solicitor would write back explaining the orders are now understood by the ex and it wont happen again. And then it would happen again. In short no court order or 'parenting co-ordinator' can compel a twit to stop being a twit
 

ATE000Rosemary

Well-Known Member
9 May 2021
29
1
124
Hi Sammy,
Any private mediation is not going to work. My ex will only follow what she wants to follow. We have been through free FDR , paid FDR , even mediator told me that she found it very difficult to communicate with her and mediator told me it's inappropriate to do mediation in my case. She is abvously a person f****d in her head and the third party can see it. So if parenting coordinator has power to make report to court and the negotiation is not private maybe it might help ?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
nope no power to report co-ordinators. Good idea.
See the problem you've got is that no court can make an idiot become smart. So you double check the orders. you get a fcuking chess board out and allocate pieces to each person... Clearly the ex is the king and you are a pawn... But you move the pieces around in accordance with the orders and you look for possible ways to mis-understand the fcuking obvious.... Let me give you an example of insanity... I had orders for 5 nights a forthnight. Wed -Monday on alternate weeks OR BY AGREEMENT.... So some how she decided i would no longer be seeing the kids because she no longer agreed? After all the orders said 'or by agreement'. I had to blow a grand on solicitors to write to her and she had to blow a grand on solicitors to write back to resolve that little 'miss understanding' ffs.

So cleary court orders that can't be mis-understood.

So you want to be picking up kids from school. Makes it harder for her to fcuk you around.
You want orders to clearly state when the holidays start and end... See my ex liked to move the goal posts... Sometimes the holidays started on the last day of term. Sometimes on the Monday after the weekend... Every time I lost days. Same with when the holidays end. Her fav was to tell me student free days were holidays. I'm a teacher, so she knew I had to go to work on those days...
You want the orders to say something like - The father has the first weekend after the resumption of school, so there is no argument each term about who gets the first weekend.

Look the parenting co-ordinator sounds nice and I googled the term. But if the ex doesn't like what they say, then she will refuse to comply and there is no provision within the family law act for you both to agree to let the co-ordinator make decisions when there is conflict.

So my only other suggestion is calm down. Hard work... But the ex is crazy, you going crazy isn't gonna help. So you have to stay calm. And make sure your orders are rock solid with no wriggle room.