Other parent unable to spend time with children due to illness

[Bstef99]

Parenting Orders for primary school aged children state equal shared responsibility, to live with mother and spend time with father (9/5 day fortnight).

What is the norm if the children’s father is ill for an extended period of time and physically unable to look after the kids? Do I have an obligation to facilitate time for children to spend with his friends or relatives during his time instead of with me given I am available to look after them?

Do I have an obligation to make the children available to anyone else the father may organise in his place? Would it be considered a breach if I didn’t make the children available to someone other than their father given he wouldn’t be spending time with them anyway?

Orders don’t stipulate who is to participate in changeovers only where changeovers take place. There are no clauses about right of first refusal or what happens in times of illness of either parent.

Any thoughts or similar experiences appreciated.

 

[thatbloke]

Hmmmm, generally if one parent is sick the child would stay with the other parent but... who is the other pei0le? If its a step mum or partner and they are in the same house as Dad or if there are half siblings involved it could slightly change things. If it was me and my ex was sick there is NO WAY i would be leaving our son with friends for her 4 nights per fortnight just to keep up a 10-4 split

 

[Bstef99]

No, it wouldn’t be a step mum, partner or half siblings the children would be staying with. Just relatives or friends at a different house to their dad’s as far as I’m aware.

 

[thatbloke]

Just relatives or friends at a different house to their dad’s as far as I’m aware.

Naaah, stuff that. WIl Dad be in hospital or just at home unable to look after them?

 

[Bstef99]

He’ll be in hospital. Does that change things? Do you mean afterwards when recovering at home it would be different and I would have an obligation to hand the children over to someone else on his behalf?

 

[thatbloke]

He’ll be in hospital. Does that change things? Do you mean afterwards when recovering at home it would be different and I would have an obligation to hand the children over to someone else on his behalf?

He can definitely nominate a person to pick them up and take them back to his. What exactly is he asking for/saying?

 

[Nonfiction]

Ok, so at which point during this possible unilateral denial of the children’s father to continue to make decisions about the children during his court ordered time do you propose the children will visit him in hospital, or recovery? What is dads position? When you say family and friends, who exactly do you mean? Dad’s parents, sister, new partner...?

 

[thatbloke]

When you say family and friends, who exactly do you mean? Dad’s parents, sister, new partner...?

I think we have already clarified its not a new partner. There are many variables that could be the case here. If my ex was in Hospital and she wanted me to drop off our son at a mates for a number of weeks whilst she recovered i would tell her to get lost. If it was to the grandparents, it could be ok for a few weeks. Of course, i would make the time for him to see her if she was sick but that is a different issue

 

[Nonfiction]

There are many variables that could be the case here

True, but at the end of the day, unless there are genuine welfare concerns, then the father has the day to day decision making during his time. From a different perspective, hypothetically, if dad were not ill and was instead going away for a few days, again the decision about ‘temporary care’ would be his during his time.

 

[MartyK]

...unless there are genuine welfare concerns, then the father has the day to day decision making during his time.

Agree. I also note that the parents have 5/9 shared care by court order, in the mother’s favour. Meaning, the longest period of time the children would be in alternative care over a 2 week period is 5 nights. Not excessive for a primary aged child if the family or friend is person the children know well and a person their father trusts.