NSW Mother seeking "No Contact Orders"

[DadLovesYouMate]

Hi all,



This is my first post here and I was hoping to get some advice and guidance as to my options with a matter I have currently before the family Court. I'll try and be as brief as I can so this is the situation in a nutshell;

The EX wife and I consented to orders in 2012 for the care of our son. Initially these orders didn't allow for overnight time however about nine months after the orders were made she agreed to overnight time. From the time these orders are made in 2012 to early 2015 with the exception of the odd and very minor disagreement things were quite flexible and amicable between the EX wife and I. In early 2015 after separating with my then partner, I was contacted by my ex-wife who told me she was not going to let me see my son.

A couple of days later I was arrested and questioned in relation to text messages that were alleged had been sent by me to the ex-wife. I denied to police that sending the messages however they kindly gave me ADVO protecting my ex-wife and son. In May 2015 I was served with initiating application from my ex-wife a notice of child abuse outlining her application for no-contact orders.

Since then this matter has been to court five times and every time the mother's solicitors have refused to entertain any time with my son and without actually providing any reasons as to why. I consented to the ADVO for 12 months without emissions and had my son's name removed from the order. I have had a single expert report done and safe to say my now eight-year-old son could have written a better report.

I have had absolutely no contact whatsoever with my ex-wife or my son or anyone connected to the both of them since February 2015 except for when my son and I saw each other for 15 minutes during the single expert interview. The ADVO that was protecting my ex-wife has finished 18 months ago and there was no attempt to have that extended. Yet she still claims on every occasion a court and to the single expert that she is scared of me and claimed that I will kill her. I have even put forward to the court to have supervised time however this was flat out rejected by the mother's solicitors. The first solicitor I had told me not to lodge a contravention because it would take too long therefore to date a contravention hasn't been filed although I am wondering whether or not I should be filing one now along with an application to have her application dismissed based on her not being able to meet the Rice and Asplund threshold. I have also uncovered in subpoenaed material held by the court that at the time she stopped me from seeing my son she was going to the police almost every day making ridiculous reports and it was reported by the police on one particular occasion that the police believed that she was doing so to assist herself in family law court. This is actually on file held by the court.

Everything that she has provided to date in affidavit is historical and was dealt with when the original orders were made back in 2012, and I don't know how she can claim that she has this fear when I have had no contact with her in over 2 1/2 years. The matter is listed for hearing start of next year however as I mentioned above I am really starting to think that something needs to be done about brining to the courts attention the contravention and that she has continued to contravene the orders for such a length of time without any reasonable evidence to prove that I'm an unacceptable risk to my son.

thanks in advance any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated

 

[Rod]

In the words of Sammy - you are dealing with a nutter.

It is next to impossible to reason with nutters. If you want to see your son, unfortunately lawyers are the way to get the best result. You have a situation where you can press a claim to have your son live with you and spend time with the mother because she seems incapable of co-parenting.

It may be possible to claim costs against the other party or the other party's lawyers for submitting documents to court that have no basis in truth.

If you want a relationship with your son it appears you are going to have to fight for it. And as you are up against a nutter with lawyers willing to put in false documents you should get your own legal assistance to counter their nonsense.

 

[AllForHer]

Sorry, can you please clarify what the history of proceedings are in respect of the child? Other than the domestic violence order matter, what's been going on with parenting order applications for the past two years? Did you initiate anything in Court when the mother first started withholding contact?

 

[DadLovesYouMate]

Thanks Rod,

There is absolutely no question she is a nutter. I have considered pressing an application for a change of residence, however I can't do it to my son. At the end of the day she is his mother and he loves her and that I have to respect.

But I will fight, oh I will fight "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times"

With the system we have we need to stay focused on the children, because if we don't who will??

 

[DadLovesYouMate]

Sorry, can you please clarify what the history of proceedings are in respect of the child? Other than the domestic violence order matter, what's been going on with parenting order applications for the past two years? Did you initiate anything in Court when the mother first started withholding contact?

Hi AllForHer,

It was my instructions to my first solicitor to immediately file a contravention, however the advice I received from him was that this was a lengthy process and that it was going to be more likely to be out of resolve the issue through the ADVO proceedings by way of mediation. At the first mention of the ADVO proceedings, I instructed the court that I would be defending the ADVO and magistrate ordered us to attend mediation which at the time she instructed the magistrate she would be willing to do. I immediately arranged private mediation at my cost however some six weeks later I was advised in writing that mediation had been deemed inappropriate and section 60i certificates were provided. It was shortly after this that I received her initiating application and notice of child abuse, whereby she stated in the notice of child abuse that she was informed by third party that my son had overheard a verbal argument and therefore was at risk. it is inconceivable how by a child potentially overhearing a heated discussion that probably 80% of the population have all had would constitute child abuse let alone family violence. Nevertheless I haven't seen my son since because apparently according to her I am an unacceptable risk yet this is not been determined by the court and she is playing judge jury and executioner.

 

[DadLovesYouMate]

I suppose I'm just unsure on what effect filing a contravention will have now when we have a trial date in about four months. My concern is that if I don't file a contravention that the judge won't even entertain the argument put to him at trial in relation to her questionable behaviour and how she has been able to justify keeping my son from me for almost 3 years even refusing contact at a contact Centre. It makes no sense how I could be any kind of risk to him at all whilst being supervised in a contact Centre yet when put to her in court whether she would allow this all she had to do was say no. At no stage has she been pushed on the point we have never been in court longer than may be 15 minutes each time over the past three years.

 

[AllForHer]

Look, you should have filed a contravention application 2.5 years ago when mum stopped following the orders. Right now, it looks like you've done nothing but sit on your hands for 2.5 years, particularly since it was mum, not you, who filed the initiating application for new parenting orders.

When did mum file this initiating application? How long has the current application been on foot? Have you sought interim orders?