they generally get appointed by the judge so you have no say on the matter. I'd like to think they're all good. But there is some strategy in the game. Best strategy. Be honest, frank and positive about the other parent (even if that means ignoring the advice about being honest).
Has the court (or you & other party) identified the matters of contention?
If the court has left it to you to choose a FRW, whoever you choose, if the report is to be of any value to the judge, you should make sure the writer is given instruction to concentrate on those areas & the family dynamics at play.
If the court has left it to you to choose a FRW, whoever you choose, if the report is to be of any value to the judge, you should make sure the writer is given instruction to concentrate on those areas & the family dynamics at play.
Sammy, we appointed one ourselves too. There are advantages to doing that, you get the report quicker mainly. I was told if we got the court to appoint one, it would take months (possibly 6+) just to get the appointment.
Cinnamon, I could recommend Sue Buckley. She was quite fair and reasonable in our case. She takes a fairly no-nonsense approach and, at least compared to other horror stories I've heard about the cost of the report, ours was at the lower end of the scale (I believe $3000 or so for each party). I've heard of some being $6000, although that may have been the total cost to both parties rather than each.
Cinnamon, I could recommend Sue Buckley. She was quite fair and reasonable in our case. She takes a fairly no-nonsense approach and, at least compared to other horror stories I've heard about the cost of the report, ours was at the lower end of the scale (I believe $3000 or so for each party). I've heard of some being $6000, although that may have been the total cost to both parties rather than each.
Also, I agree with Atticus. The family report recommendations in our case formed the basis of most of what we ended up agreeing on by consent, and for what we didn't agree on, the judge largely based their orders on the family report with only minor changes. So the report recommendations are obviously very important, and as Atticus said, the FRW needs to know (both when you talk to them in person, and through affidavits that detail the issues) what exactly you are hoping to get out of it. And as Sammy said, it's best to be as respectful as you can about the other party, and at least be seen to be trying to work together for the best outcome for the children even if you have to bite your tongue.
We also privately agreed on FRW and I think this has benefits. It is obviously much quicker too. It is good advice to be open and frank and generally supportive of the childrens' relationship with the other parent unless there are major concerns / areas of risk that the FRW needs to be made aware of. I was surprised at how much focus was placed on the nature of the relationship prior to separation and reasons for separation and the events that transpired around separation. It would be a good idea to maybe jot down a chronological note of how things transpired at that time and any risk items that arose at those times. The basis of this I believe is the FRW wants to establish what the parenting roles were and what the co-parenting relationship is. A big risk factor they identify is lack of co-operation between co-parents. I think for some people it would be hard to have those past events sprung on them during what is already a high pressure situation so go there prepared to talk about difficult things.
If there are relevant school records or doctors records that are relevant to the childrens situation then these are relevant for the FRW too and the parents can agree to forward such important information to the FRW. As a side note - if there is no consent to send such information to the FRW then this creates a basis to dispute the FRW findings in court.
I do think there is some value in canvassing potential FRW's. Mostly they will have a bio online, like on linkedin or something of the sort. I'm in QLD so unfortunately can't assist with names in VIC. However, from what I have heard they are mostly thorough and professional.
If there are relevant school records or doctors records that are relevant to the childrens situation then these are relevant for the FRW too and the parents can agree to forward such important information to the FRW. As a side note - if there is no consent to send such information to the FRW then this creates a basis to dispute the FRW findings in court.
I do think there is some value in canvassing potential FRW's. Mostly they will have a bio online, like on linkedin or something of the sort. I'm in QLD so unfortunately can't assist with names in VIC. However, from what I have heard they are mostly thorough and professional.
Thank you for your response. It ended up being Dr. Sophia Franks, not sure if anyone has seen her. I am sure she would be very professional.
Now in my case, my ex does not want to communicate about anything or "over" communicates dramatically. There is no middle ground unfortunately. I suggest a co-parenting app, he ignores me. I suggest we need to address interstate travel (not in our interim orders), he takes the children interstate without any notification knowing the risks of a pandemic. I suggest video-call time with the children on my parenting time, he denies. I am really not sure how to effectively co-parent if there NO/ZERO communication. Believe me, if it was up to me, I would go no contact tomorrow, though none of this is about me, it's about our children. What actually consist as lacking in co-parenting?
I will definitely prepare for what the relationship regarding the children were prior to separation and where it all started to crumble. Great advice.
The FRW sent through only four interviews to be conducted. First the interview with the father, then second the children, then thirdly the parents and children and then the interview with the mother (me). No one else. This was surprising to me, since my ex has a girlfriend that he pushes parental responsibility on when the children are in his care and she has been mentioned in his latest Affidavit. If he cannot text me, then he writes 10 page Affidavits on me and everything I do wrong. There are also plenty of fabrications in there that can be disproven, though not the topic at hand now. The ex's mother also occasionally looks after the children on his parenting time, though she has not been asked to join in. I was curious on the FRW decides on whom they want to interview?
So many questions, and very hot weather here.
I suspect that the FRW had no particular concerns with the girlfriend or grandmother... Generally they only interview those that are having an effect on the family dynamics involved. In particular how those dynamics may be causing/ contributing to whatever the issues are. If court appointed, the judge will give the FRW the aspects of most concern that sh/e wants reported on.
Thank you. I don't think the gf or MIL have anything good to say about me to be honest. The ex have tried multiple times to triangulate the mother and gf though I just blocked communications (easily solved).
Atticus can you tell me more about a FRW? I think all that have experience in this field had to be a beginner to start with, though apart from making some preparation notes on our past, current and future co-parenting, not sure what else I should expect.
I also see that a screening tool is being use (FamilyDoors) for both the parents. My phycologist says that safety screening standard and clinicians use this often? What is your experience with FRW?
