VIC Exclusion Orders Due to Family and Domestic Violence?

[tarahyatt]

Just wondering if many family domestic violence orders with an exclusion condition are approved in Victoria? Department of Human Services recommended I apply for one due to constant non-physical violence but a bit afraid to in case it is knocked back.

Thanks

 

[AllForHer]

Protection orders have limited applicability in family law, so while you might succeed in getting an exclusion order now, if the other parent seeks orders from the family court for time with the child, then the parenting order that results from that will trump the domestic violence order.

 

[tarahyatt]

But he still couldn't live on the house?

 

[AllForHer]

That's for the court to decide.

 

[sammy01]

Yes, if you are feeling intimidated, then an AVO could be used and when you go to see the police you will have the opportunity to request that he isn't allowed to come to the family home. My ex was successful in getting such an order against me.

I was also not allowed to talk to her. I have to tell you that I thought it a bit rough. Yes, our marriage was on the rocks and yes we argued lots, but I still reckon the AVO was a bit crook. It was successful in getting me out of the house and stopped me seeing the kids. But I then stopped paying the mortgage and frankly things got really messy.

Short version - Think long and hard. Nothing wrong with simply saying hey, this ain't working and try to come to a reasonable compromise to separate and move on. An AVO means that all negotiation becomes hard and generally requires solicitors. My suggestion is to make a plan to end the relationship and do everything you can to sort things amicably.

That said - if you genuinely feel for your safety then an AVO is a legal means to protect your safety. I would speak to a community worker or ask to talk to a domestic violence liaison officer at your local police station.

Final thought - Look the AVO wound up being a good thing. It ended our marriage with absolute certainty. But it also caused a hell of a lot of hostility which still continues. That is very unfortunate for all concerned. worth thinking about

 

[tarahyatt]

He uses guilt and makes snide comments and texts me saying "I don't put out", so I give in and have sex with him. He has rang DHS and made false abuse claims against me previously when I tried to leave.

He always calls me a cheating slut when I am not and actually lodged an AVO against me late last year when he found out I had spoken to the police family violence unit. He makes me sleep on the couch if I speak in a tone he doesn't like and will often then open doors and windows while I sleep as extra punishment (not pleasant in winter). He tells me I will never see my child again and DHS recommended a year ago taking out an order but he got aggressive so I didn't. I have tried to make things work

He also tells my daughter she doesn't have to listen to me and that I am being silly when I try to put my 8-year-old to bed at a reasonable hour.

This morning he has texted me nonstop saying I should be glad we haven't had sex for two weeks and that I am obviously getting it elsewhere. He tells me I'm being abusive if I ask him to leave me alone and he likes to wait until I've gone to bed and then randomly turn on the light and accuse me of masturbating.

 

[AllForHer]

Look, honestly? This sounds like a crap relationship with a lot of incompatibilities, but what you've listed is more about hurt feelings and disrespect, rather than abuse and endangerment. In short, it sounds like a typical relationship that's on its last legs, no different to any other relationship that's on its last legs.

Like it or not, the guy is in your life forever because you've got a child together, so you've now got a choice. You can file for a protection order, have him removed from the house and create an entirely hostile co-parenting environment that risks going to court for parenting orders and negatively affecting your daughter, or you can tell him it's over, go see a counsellor, and make a plan so that you can try and co-parent together for the benefit of your child.

 

[tarahyatt]

It is abuse. Police said so, DHS said so. It's family violence, not physical but still violence. Have tried to end it four times which is when he makes threats.

He has been labeled as having psychotic behaviour by a shrink and we tried counselling but you can't get anywhere when a person doesn't see a problem with behaviours.

 

[AllForHer]

Then get an AVO.

 

[sammy01]

File a protection order. Do it ASAP. Look, my ex had no grounds for an AVO on me. It still shocks me that I had to go through that crap. But if what you're saying is true then you are in an abusive relationship get out.

According to the law in NSW domestic violence does not have to require physical abuse. Please read this site
Community Services - Domestic and family violence

Look I'm a man, and I was a victim of domestic violence. My wife never hit me but her behaviour matches the definition on the website I provided. I strongly encourage you to realise that it will not get better