can I relocate interstate with my child

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relocation12

Member
12 December 2018
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Hi, I was wondering if someone could help me. I agreed to move interstate with my partner (defacto) away from my family and friends. Initially it was for a year but he has since reneged and views the move as permanent. I would like to move back to my home city (where we have a strong support network, my family etc). He has custody of 2 children from a first marriage and successfully received a relocation order (the mother had a number of legal issues at the time which have since been resolved). I had originally hired a lawyer, completed an affidavit but then was given legal advice that if I did not at least try the move for a year I might lose custody of my little boy and have to relocate anyway and I did not want to risk this. My question is would it be best for me to relocate with my son and lodge relocation orders from Victoria? My situation is also very emotionally abusive & controlling (it has become very severe with the move up here - isolate and control) and I fear I am not strong enough to deal with his wrath should I attempt a discussion prior to any move. My job will allow me to relocate and the bulk of my business is Victorian based. My family would also like to provide private education for my son. I would also be willing to finance the travel costs associated with my son flying interstate to spend time with his father at a minimum of 10 weekends per year and would also agree to him being with his father during school holidays. I'm in a real pickle and just wondering what my options are so I can ascertain if I am to remain stuck in this remote community or whether I have a real chance of "going home".
 

Migz

Well-Known Member
20 November 2016
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I get the impression that your "partner" is unaware of your motives, and that you are doing all of this in secret. Just an observation from how your post is written.

You as a parent are free to move where ever you like...your child on the other hand is not. So you want to up and leave and head back to Vic taking the child with you, then allowing the Father 10 weekends a year (min) along with school holidays, so essentially, reducing the Fathers current time significantly compared to what it is now.

How about this...how about you move to Vic to be with friends and family, and the Father send the child to you 10 weekends a year and school holidays, does that work for you? It's sounds like the childs Father is no dummy as he already has custody of the other two children, so when he gets wind of your plans I can only imagine what he will do next.
 

relocation12

Member
12 December 2018
3
0
1
Thanks for your empathy Migz, I had only agreed to a 12 month trial living remotely in QLD and he is now not agreeable to moving back home. No I am not running around in secret. Given the breakdown of communication in my relationship I was just reaching out to see how best to deal with the situation (from a legal standing). I would NEVER leave my child but at the same time I do want to know my legal rights and whether or not we can go home if my partner will not agree to moving back. I was not asking for any form of judgement or belittling....how about this....keep your responses professional, in a non judgmental tone so that they add value to any forum moving forward....
 

relocation12

Member
12 December 2018
3
0
1
just....recently found out he is having an online "affair / fling" which has made things very difficult....I have asked numerous times for him to consider moving back though and was told "no".....my business is impacted as the bulk of my work is in Melbourne and I am struggling to work remotely (even if I build up a QLD business base it is 2 hours + to Brisbane)
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
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This is a difficult situation.

When is the 12 months agreement due to finish?

I'd be tempted to say "I'm sticking with the 12 month's agreement. I do not agree to extending the time in QLD and I am going back home as we agreed."

Then I'd leave, taking my child and seek parenting orders in Vic if the relationship fails and he doesn't return with you.

Some people like to remove partners from their support network as a form of control. This is straight out abuse.

So while I sympathise with the father, the father is breaking an agreement and he should not use that to control you and his child. I assume the father has the option of moving back to Victoria and getting a job here.