QLD Surviving Custody of Children Hearing - Help?

[Complex16]

How does one manage to get through a custody of children hearing alive?

Struggling.

Looking for help on tips re cross examination specifically.

Thanks

 

[sammy01]

Avoid court... Maybe too late?

What does the ex want? What do you want?

The law does state that the magistrate must consider 50/50 if practical.

 

[Rod]

Go through the other party's affidavit and look for anything that hints the other parent can't co-parent.

If there is anything in the other party's affidavit attacking you as a parent, attempt to prove it is not true.

Sometimes there's little need to cross-examine.

Really does depend on the contents of the affidavits.

And when you get down, call a friend/help line, and it's OK to have a cry.

Custody is often the worst ever experience for a caring parent to go through, so it is normal to feel down. Just remember the kids are worth fighting for, so take time out, feel bad for a bit, then pull yourself together again. Most times the pieces come back together OK

 

[Complex16]

avoid court... Maybe too late?
What does the ex want? What do you want?
The law does state that the magistrate must consideer 50/50 if practical.

Hi Sammy,

Almost too late - trial is next week. Am just feeling very anxious about it all, particularly having to take the stand. I've spent years trying not to think about or revisit what occurred in my DV relationship, now have to try and bring it all to the surface and articulate it (and promptly!)

The ex originally filed to secure more contact. This has evolved now into him seeking that our son live with him, that he have sole parental responsibility etc. He has suggested a number of alternatives in respect of our son spending time with me. My position has always been to seek a no contact order with a fall back of supervised visitation indefinitely. There are reasons for this which I won't go into now. Basically we have competing positions.

The ICL, family report writer and psychiatrist all saying it's too hard to provide an opinion on an ideal outcome so they haven't made any recommendations per se. Instead their scenarios stem and fall on the evidence heard at trial. If he is to be believed then scenario A, if I am to be believed then scenario B etc. The scenarios if I am to be believed are consistent across the three though - no contact.

My barrister is saying we have a good shot but only if I'm able to do well under cross examination. Am just feeling the pressure! I can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel, but just have to get there first.

Thanks for replying, appreciate it.

 

[Complex16]

Go through the other party's affidavit and look for anything that hints the other parent can't co-parent.

If there is anything in the other party's affidavit attacking you as a parent, attempt to prove it is not true.

Sometimes there's little need to cross-examine.

Really does depend on the contents of the affidavits.

And when you get down, call a friend/help line, and it's OK to have a cry.

Custody is often the worst ever experience for a caring parent to go through, so it is normal to feel down. Just remember the kids are worth fighting for, so take time out, feel bad for a bit, then pull yourself together again. Most times the pieces come back together OK

Thanks Rod. When we ticked over into October it became like a "holy crap" moment. Trial is soon! Have been struggling with that - on the one hand I can't wait for it all to be over (in some fashion), but that means having to go through trial first and I'm feeling quite terrified about it all. Thankfully I have a great support system, but sometimes you just need to ugly cry alone...

My ex was self-represented for some time and has submitted a few affidavits throughout the whole process. First one said I'm a great mum, second send I had mental health issues so am a risk, now the latest one (now that he has a lawyer) is back to saying I'm a great mum. There are a great deal if inconsistencies throughout his material but will leave that to my barrister to deal with. My affidavits are all consistent, but lengthy so am expecting (and have been told to expect) a detailed and long cross-examination.

Thanks so much for your reply

 

[sammy01]

Wow high risk... My opinion, just stay composed. Interested to hear the result?

 

[Complex16]

wow high risk... My advice, just stay composed. Interested to hear the result??

Sorry what do you mean by high risk? As in the ex is high risk (or possibly even me?) Have you seen any other matters where the experts and ICL couldn't opine either way until all evidence was heard at trial? I've researched a great deal of case law over the years and it seems that an opinion is always provided to help guide the judge? My matter seems to presently be solely left to the judge to decide?!

Thanks for your advice, I will certainly do my best to do just that. Barrister wants me to check my heart at the door and be all head. Not always easy but I do it for a living so am hoping to apply similar principles where I can.

Will certainly check back in to let you know how it goes.

 

[miguel]

High risk is that you are prepared to risk it all, i.e. no contact with you.

 

[Complex16]

High risk is that you are prepared to risk it all, i.e. no contact with you.

Ok, thank you Miguel.