QLD How Does Mediaton Work?

[Mia123]

Hello.

I have my first mediation session next week and I am feeling a bit anxious about it as I don't know what to expect from it. The company I'm going through more or less just told me that my ex and I have an individual session first and then a combined one together.

What happens in the individual session? Do I need to do anything to prepare for it, like note what I hope to achieve out of it? What happens in the combined session? Is it most likely we will achieve and outcome in this session or is it done over a few?

My ex and I do not talk at all unless its specifically about the kids. He lives in a different state to me and currently not wanting to travel to see the kids. He's been spreading lies, saying that I took the kids without his permission even though I had him sign paperwork to say otherwise and he's also telling people I'm refusing him contact with the kids which I am not. I offered to bring them to him and he all of a sudden was too busy to see them.

I'm worried that my ex is an exceptional liar and happy to turn on the water works to play things in his favour. What do I do if he does this in mediation? Can I bring up the lies he's telling people about me refusing him hes kids or is it irrelevant? I just want more clarification on exactly what mediation is for so I dont waste time on things that are pointless in mediation.

Sorry for the million questions. I just can't find anyone who can answer them for. I've spoken to a community solicitor and got no real answers she told me to just go with the flow.

Many thanks

 

[Tim W]

Mediation for what?
Family law? Consumer dispute? Or...?

 

[Mia123]

Sorry, for family law parenting plan

 

[AllForHer]

The individual session is so the mediator can hear your side of the story, find out what you are hoping to achieve and work out what the issues are so they can be addressed.

In mediation with the other parent, the mediator will act as a neutral third party, there to keep you and the father focused on the issues. The mediator won't solve the problems for you, but they will try and help you and your ex solve your own problems.

Try and be reasonable when negotiating a care arrangement. Court proceedings are costly, emotionally challenging and time-consuming. They're best avoided and the best way to avoid court is to be reasonable and reach an agreement outside of court.

 

[sammy01]

Mediation is simply a chance for both parties to come to an understanding about things that are causing conflict. So it is a chance to discuss and compromise. The mediators' job is to keep you on task and productive. It is also the first step required before taking legal action if an agreement isn't made.

Based on what you've written, I'd suggest you just walk in with an open mind. Try and see it as a business meeting. Forget the emotion, just work on practical solutions to things like when he is gonna see the kids.

Last piece of my thoughts - Make some prepared statements to respond to what he brings up - if he is being antagonistic. Stuff like - "I feel that last comment was unproductive," or "please refrain from personal attacks, etc, etc..."

 

[Mia123]

Thanks so super much for your help. I feel a little better having more of an idea what to expect from the mediation.

If we cant come to an agreement on our first combined session, can we have another if we both need time to think about what the other one is asking? And once we do come up with a suitable agreement how long does it take to get the parenting plan drawn up?

What happens if he doesn't want to do mediation or won't co-operate? Do you have to take him to court or can it be left alone until he's willing to participate and attempt mediation again?

And thanks, Sammy01. I love your help to think of it as a business meeting! It's very practical.

 

[AllForHer]

If you can't come to an agreement, you certainly can participate in mediation again so you can consider what has been discussed and see if either is willing to negotiate further.

If agreement can be reached, it's common practice to draft a parenting plan on the day. The part that may take a little longer is getting that parenting plan turned into consent orders, which is optional, but does give the court powers to intervene if either one of you breaches the agreement.

If you are unsure about anything in the parenting plan, you can also refuse to sign it on the day and instead go away and give the proposed plan some consideration.

If either party refuses to participate or agreement can't be reached, then you and/or the other party will receive a s60I certificate and you will then be at liberty to file an initiating application for parenting orders with the court. Alternatively, you can sit on it and do nothing and wait until one of you decides to try mediation again. A s60I certificate is valid for 12 months.