VIC Chances of Getting a Name Change for Son?

[Beclouise66]

Hi all,

I would like some help about adding my last name to my child that I share with my ex.

Some background info:

We were together for 7 years, engaged for the last 6 months of the relationship. We had our child in September of 2015 (14 months old now).

'My ex left us when our child was 4 months old and since then, I've been trying to add my last name onto our son's name but he will not budge, saying things like 'I don't want him to have your last name' and 'it will never happen'.

We were going to mediation to agree about the name change, but he decided to quit so I am in the process of making an application to go again. If he still doesn't want to go, I receive a letter for the family court saying he didn't want to participate and then I'll be able to take this to family court.

He pays his $35 a month child support and that is it.

Will taking this to court be worth it? Or do I have no chance whatsoever to add my last name to my son?

Any help welcome

 

[sammy01]

Waste of time in my opinion

 

[SamanthaJay]

From what I know (and just a quick google search confirms it), there is certainly a chance the court will agree that you can legally change your child's surname. There are many things the court would take into consideration. And seeing as you are just wanting to 'add' your surname to your child's name and not replace it, then I think your chances are increased.

Do you know you can use another name for your child legally as well although it wouldn't be the official name on Medicare card etc but you can certainly enrol your child in school or child care with a different name.

If I were you and felt strongly about adding my name to my child's then I would go through the process. You never know, he may change his mind when he realises it's going to be a lot of effort for him as well to have to go to court over it, especially when you aren't removing his name.

You can also save on legal fees by DIY.

 

[Beclouise66]

Many thanks for your reply, very helpful. I plan on taking it as far as I can as culturally it means a lot to myself and my family.

 

[sully73]

I have a similar issue as this. A few weeks ago my daughter (8) asked to add my family surname to her name out of the blue. I had no idea she had been thinking about this and contacted her father to initiate the process. I am not going to lie - I was thrilled that she wants to be connected to my (overseas) side of the family like this, and thought it was a wonderful idea. Her father remained silent, so I followed it up in person when he dropped her off - and he cut me off and said he didn't want to talk about it. I checked with her that she did still want to proceed (she does) and sent him an email asking about it. This resulted in a flurry of emails where he accuses me of emotionally abusing him (for asking him to elaborate on his reluctance to consider her request) and saying that I am manipulating our daughter into doing it (nope, she asked for it).

I asked her to tell him directly from her heart what she feels and wants to do, which resulted in her deciding to message him and saying she wants to do it. I suggested to her not to send a message and to speak in person so he can understand better why she is thinking about it, but anyway she made her choice. He then accused me of manipulating her into sending the message of course (nope). It is all very ugly and I am still none the wiser as to his reasons for not wanting to do it as he refuses to tell me and has threatened to block me if I keep asking (and said that I am destroying good will and cooperation we have built between us for continuing to ask). He is a shouty man (she tells me he shouts at her a lot - he used to shout at me too so I am not surprised) and I generally don't make a big deal about things, as I don't want her to get shouted at. But this is about her identity and connection to her family - some of whom might not be around for much longer. If she turned around tomorrow and said she wasn't bothered about doing it, I would just let it go as it is her heart that matters. But she is being consistent.

I assume that the next step would be some form of formal mediation, and then if that doesn't work family court? Not saying I want to go there at this stage, just trying to understand the process and any likelihood of success if this remains important to her. As I mention it is just adding my name to her existing, not changing anything.