VIC Friend messaged ex

[garbage]

Hi all. This is my first question on here, please be nice. Sorry if it's a bit dumb.
My ex applied for an interim order on me a couple of months ago. I won't go into the details of it or why as it's long and best saved for another day. Anyway I have in no way breached my IVO, I have not made any contact with my ex since it was served on me. Not that I wanted to anyway, but, back to my question. I recently ran into an old co-worker/friend of mine who I haven't seen for a while. We caught up, & she asked me how I was going. She mentioned my ex & i's separation. (We separated because I caught him cheating.) She told me she connected with him on a dating profile, & apparently, gave him an earful about his cheating... I'm not entirely sure what she said to him exactly, but I am worried that this will be a breach of my IVO? I immediately told her to block him & not mention me to him any more. She didn't know he had an IVO on me. I don't want cops knocking on my door when I've already had so much crp to deal with from him...
Thanks all in advance.

 

[sammy01]

Hey,

Look it sounds silly, but for a little while keep a diary. Even better, email yourself so there can be no dispute about when you wrote it. Don't write everything everyday, just anything of concern, like meeting the old workmate.

This is not a breach unless you asked her to contact him. If he lodges a complaint, the cops will investigate and in all likelyhood give you a warning.

But take this avo thing seriously. You'll get a warning / a chat just to make sure you know the rules, but it will be documented and if this sort of stuff were to continue, the cops will come knocking...

Strange - but eventually, I liked having an avo when my ex took one. It meant we were over. DONE AND DUSTED... No calls, no make up none of it. FINISHED. Good.

 

[GlassHalfFull]

I had a pretty different experience to you though Sammy. I didn't see my kids for nearly 4 months, I had every possession I owned other than a laptop, phone and my clothes taken from me. She took my car too. And started in motion a process that has cost us BOTH many tens of thousands of dollars in legal expenses.

And there was no real closure to the relationship that a sensible adult discussion would have brought. Obviously the moment I received the IVO, I knew the relationship was over, done and dusted - that wasn't the issue. Sometimes you just need to understand why. I still to this day 18 months later have no idea precisely why she took out the IVO on me. I can make educated guesses about how it was calculated to take control of the break up though.

 

[GlassHalfFull]

As for the OP though, I don't think you would be in breach unless you actually asked for them to communicate something to the ex. A mutual friend/acquaintance contacting them and happening to know something about the separation isn't in itself a breach IMO. Of course the problem as always is that it's up to the police's interpretation (and then if they charge you, the magistrate's interpretation). I think you'd be pretty safe though. All you'd need is for that friend to testify that at no time did you ask them to say anything on your behalf. An IVO isn't intended to shield them from any criticism from other people.