NSW Dissatisfied with Family Court Process

[Jeff1969]

Hi cupcake,

Sorry to hear, but thank you for saying this as you are the first female I have come across in the same situation.
You may help me as well as others restore our faith that it isn't a sexist system. My comments were from personal experiences of myself and other males I had met and was not intended to offend anyone.
Whatever the gender...yes...you lie to win.
It is so wrong

 

[Cupcake]

Maybe instead of us whinging on here, we should/could do something. Its so prevalent, surely the system needs a change, a voice to lead that change. I can't do it myself, even though I'm trying.

 

[Jeff1969]

We do need to do something. There is a need to form some sort of group as it is clear things need to change, but no individual has the ability.
I don't know if another Thread needs to be started (or is this out of context with the forum?). I am certainly willing to help in some manner. some advice from other on how to do so would be welcome. We cannot do anything about our own circumstances, but it would almost a crime to allow this to continue.

 

[AllForHer]

Just to provide some insight in the "reform" side of things, it is taught to law students at university that, as my lecturer put it, "reform in family law is imminent, it is merely a matter of timing".

There are many advocacy groups lobbying for reform to the family law system and I, for one, am in full support of a system where equal time is a presumption treated akin to the current presumption of shared parental responsibility. Summarily, it would require parties to argue why time should be reduced from 50/50, rather than why time should be allowed at all, which is often how it feels for litigating parents stuck in a system that rewards parents for withholding time and punishes those willing to fight to get it. It is a travesty that a parent can withhold time unilaterally and then claim 100% care to the child support agency for an extra penny in their pay cheque.

The system is also agonisingly, torturously slow - ironic, given the focus on the best interests of the child. It is also near inaccessible unless you have cash-lined pockets or no money at all - the middle-income earners among us are left being remanded for self-representing or lumping an insurmountable debt paying for c-grade lawyers simply to be a part of their own child's life.

Reform is becoming critical as gender equality becomes more socially required and fathers gain momentum as active, capable and involved parents, rather than the "babysitters" they used to be seen as during "breadwinner" days.

It is truly terrible that those of us stuck in the system now have to be subject to archaic laws until reform comes to fruition.

 

[Cupcake]

Maybe a facebook page? I don't know how to make change in government policy/law, but someone has to start somewhere. I'm happy to try something. We'd have to be careful not to name names, but if we campaign or write letters to politicians etc it's a start.

 

[Cupcake]

An archaic system that leaves the person who is responsible for majority of the child's care with near majority of the child's expenses. If the court rules in favour of equal time, then costs for child need to also be split equally. there is so much injustice and disparity in family law, it almost makes the whole system a joke.

I am not allowed to leave the state to live with an extended family and friends who can help care for my child and enable me to work, have a reasonable standard of living etc. Instead I am made to live somewhere I don't want to be with no friends or family, I'm on government benefits $50 above the poverty line because I cannot work due to having no family to help with caring for the child (child care is unaffordable on any income i would get), we live on the generosity of friends, family and my 90 year old grandmothers help because the other parent who earns well over $100k + has a double income with his new partner and lives outrageously extravagently refuses to help, refuses to let me know he's going away sometimes for weeks at a time etc etc etc. I have no life, because I cannot afford babysitters etc etc Yet, by law I have to provide the child to him 3 nights a fortnight and ask HIS permission to go away. How anyone can say this is a fair and just legal system is beyond me.

I've committed no crime, yet I am sentenced to this nightmare for another 10+ years. It's shocking to say the least! The court rules in the best interests of the child - how then can they rule that the primary carer live in poverty while the other parent lives like a king!

 

[Jeff1969]

Facebook yes! I'm a bit old school but social media seems to be accessed by many.
I also have no Idea on how to change policy/law, but with a group we should be able to pool some different knowledge and resources to make a start. Someone who knows how to set up a group on facebook would be handy.

 

[Jeff1969]

That's terrible. Who in their right mind could possibly think that is fair! this is where an independent assessment should be done to question the decision, the competency of the person making the judgment.
fortunately?? in my case my children were older, so we only endured the hardship for a couple of years.
EX took all the furniture, car, kid clothes. She had physically and emotionally harmed them, particularly my older (15 at the time).
She refused to pay mortgage on properties, leaving me to work 3 jobs as a single father to best feed the boys and keep a roof over their heads.
We slept on the floor for a few months, had food and clothing parcel on a regular basis. kids were having a breakfast supplied by the school for children who couldn't afford breakfast. My older son took it upon himself to do what he though would take the pressure off me, (unknown to me), he tried to shoplift some food for the family and got caught. One of the hardest times for me, to have my son see that I was barely coping and have him take this stupid action. He has mental health issues now (depression). This was all supported by the system.
It criminal!
After hearing about your circumstances (and others) and how you have been affected, it is clear there are problems in many areas of the family law. It is also clear that family law court has little regard for any of the people standing in front of them, or their children.

 

[Cupcake]

wow, your story is as sad as mine.

the sad thing is what the other poster said, unless your are polar opposite ends of the scale poor/rich, you are unable to afford or get legal help.

gosh i could go on forever at the unfairness of family law :-(

 

[Jeff1969]

I would like to challenge anyone involved in family law to justify damaging children's lives (and to do so without their BS and theatre that the family court accepts). The family court has damaged my children's lives (as yours and many others); this is unforgivable!! If every Australian had to go through the process, family court would not exist in its current antiquated form.
When people have heard a fraction of my story (you probably have experienced this); they cannot believe it. Most people still believe the myth that the courts are about, justice, fairness and honestly......I was very naive like this too. It will be a challenge to expose this as most people still have faith that the court will protect or compensate them as victim of injustice . lets face it, how can you trust anyone prepared to hurt your children.
Its been over 18months since judgement, yet I think about the injustice everyday.
First I become a victim of my ex having an affair. (my children caught her)
She takes everything; stops paying mortgages,quits her job takes the car, leaving me in a rural location 40 km from nearest public transport abuses my children, sells and spends a share fund (which was my superannuation as I had worked many jobs with no super) on overseas holidays with her new partner (leaving my children at home alone for 10 days at a time ages 12 & 15).......Many more event after this.
Then in court claims stress with the separation, claiming that is why she quit work and had to spend share fund on holidays to release stress($12,000 spent in 2 months would relieve ANYONES stress. Claimed she needed the car as she moved to Perth and needed to get around (thats ok its only a 40km walk), puts in a false claim on the furniture (a sea container of furniture valued at $3000. she took even though there was an extensive removalist checklist. Halved the value of the car(valuation showed different). she removed the car from the asset list in our final hearing, She bought a new car in this time as well.
The magistrate choose to take all the furniture, the car, the share fund; out of the asset pool as he felt it was insignificant. the fact that I had paid 80% of all our loans over the 3 years it took to get through court, was disregarded.... long story, but after this and 4 days in court with all the lies, I walked away awarded less than 20% without taking into account the assets, which were disregarded. He even asked weather she wanted to take any of my superannuation (she had more Super than me, as well as spent the sharefund which my as super).
She now live in a new house, with new car, caravan and she retires (age40)
I had to move interstate as I could not afford to RENT in Perth. live in a sharehouse and have little employment due to the semi rural location.
Whre is the so called justice. If victims of the family court do unite, this practice will sure to continue.