NSW These actions don't feel right!

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Samantha Wormleaton

Active Member
29 July 2019
11
0
31
Long story short I'm trying to break off a 10 yr dv relationship. Only 1 occurrence reported. We share 5 children. 2 of which are school age. My ex the children's father. Plays no family law orders card all the time but I have applied for legal aid and been granted waiting on response from lawyer. I'm only allowed access to have the children when he says so. And they are always split up and very rarely am I allowed to have more than 2 at a time. More recently he had the 9yr, 3yr, 2yr and 8 months whilst I had the 7yr. On a school morning I tried to text to see if I could grab my 7yr school stuff because my ex also don't allow me to have the children's belongings either. But he made it difficult because he tried to pressure me to be with him again and became intimidating yet again. So i stayed home as did the 7yr. My son became very distressed about going back to dad's house. With very good reason. So I tried to tell my ex for his mental state during this separation it would probably be best if he stayed with me. I rang 3 schools on the tuesday and had success at 1. I had an app. At 8.30 next morning. To partial enroll him. I didn't want to get in trouble through the ed department so I thought I had no choice really. And just quickly my ex lives 25 min drive away so it was a school in my area. My 7yr was very happy and excited to go. We arrived late at 8.45. I explained the situation to the principal she said that she understood. But because theirs no family law orders in place that she would have to ring my ex and tell him he was enrolled their. And preceded to say that he could go there and collect him whenever he liked it assured me if that was to happen she would stall him then ring me first before she got the 7yr from class. By the time he was settled in class and I left it was 9.45 as I was going out of town I seen my ex coming in. I knew what he was going to do so I turned around at the first opportunity and went back to the school. At about 10.20. It by the time I got there my ex was already in the office. As I got out of my car to go into the school I seen the principal walking to my son's classroom. I still walked into the office and when I did all staff had there back turned having personal conversations. I felt very victimised this day. Not one staff member at that school had any intentions on ringing me if at all. I went and sat in my car I felt helpless I watched troy and 3 other that met my ex there circle my son as they walked to their car and the 3 adults and my ex surrounded the door and strapped my son into the car. I have since learned he seen me and wanted to give me a cuddle good bye But was refused and became very distressed and tried to destroy the car and almost smashed the window. Sorry for it being so long. I'm just so confused. My question is was this fair and legal?
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
162
5
419
Wow.
Ok all I can suggest is wait for a legal aid appointment then start mediation asap.
Since there are no orders either one of you can pick up the children from school etc.
So how often is he allowing you to have the children?
 

Samantha Wormleaton

Active Member
29 July 2019
11
0
31
Whenever it suits him. When I first tried to leave I was nothing but fair. I offered him 7 nights of a fortnight for boys but only 6 nights of a fortnight for baby. Which I feel was more than fair he has exposed the children to so much of his drama and pathetic attempts to get me back. But if I dont comply or give him what he wants that's when he turns nasty. And takes all of them for a few days. He keeps plastering all over facebook that I've walked out on my children says I'm a bad mum. And have no contact with them for said periods of time. Which are all lies when he first started to do these things I was nieve and would give him what he wanted (to beg and plead with him and explain how I'm not a bad mum) but I soon cottoned on. When he does this he fails to plaster on Facebook that it is his say so where I can see the children and it always has to be at his residence. When I would try to call and contact children it always had to be on loudspeaker and if the children were to start to tell me something he's told them about me or done wrong the phone call would end and hehe wouldnt answer to next day if at all. He has quite literally done nothing in the raising of these children I did 99.9% of everything plus all the household needs. While he just literally layed there on his phone all day. And now find out he was chatting up other females and complimenting them all day and night long. He has made me out to be a crazy loon to everybody. I don't understand why he just can't let go. Our children have seen and heard enough because of him.
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
162
5
419
Whenever it suits him. When I first tried to leave I was nothing but fair. I offered him 7 nights of a fortnight for boys but only 6 nights of a fortnight for baby. Which I feel was more than fair he has exposed the children to so much of his drama and pathetic attempts to get me back. But if I dont comply or give him what he wants that's when he turns nasty. And takes all of them for a few days. He keeps plastering all over facebook that I've walked out on my children says I'm a bad mum. And have no contact with them for said periods of time. Which are all lies when he first started to do these things I was nieve and would give him what he wanted (to beg and plead with him and explain how I'm not a bad mum) but I soon cottoned on. When he does this he fails to plaster on Facebook that it is his say so where I can see the children and it always has to be at his residence. When I would try to call and contact children it always had to be on loudspeaker and if the children were to start to tell me something he's told them about me or done wrong the phone call would end and hehe wouldnt answer to next day if at all. He has quite literally done nothing in the raising of these children I did 99.9% of everything plus all the household needs. While he just literally layed there on his phone all day. And now find out he was chatting up other females and complimenting them all day and night long. He has made me out to be a crazy loon to everybody. I don't understand why he just can't let go. Our children have seen and heard enough because of him.
So it sounds like you are a very reasonable person.
I would start with mediation, I have been where you are and it's not pretty at all.it does get better
 

Samantha Wormleaton

Active Member
29 July 2019
11
0
31
I hope so I just want structure and routine for myself and the children. I don't care for what he did to me him the past I just want to go no drama I'm trying to be fair with children when realistically I shouldn't be and he's giving me every reason over the last few months not to be aswell. It's all so confusing I no 100% I don't love him at all and I know 100% I don't want to be with him.....But yet he still has such a hold over me i don't understand it
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
162
5
419
I know excactly how you feel, my ex still has a hold over me with a lot of things, he will call discussing the kids, and then make sexual remarks to me, and I have no proof of him behaving like that towards me, I just hang up.