Lawyer Jokes for Easter

[John R]

Happy Easter everyone! Has anyone got a good lawyer joke for Easter? Here's one I found earlier:

You’re sitting at a table with the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and an honest lawyer and there is $5,000 on the table, who would get the $5,000?

You would, the other three are fictitious characters.

 

[rebeccag]

Ha-ha. One of my favourites in the honest lawyer collection.
"A little boy was in a cemetery with his mother
“Mum” the boy asked , “do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”
“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?”
“The tombstone back there said, Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.”

 

[John R]

Good one Rebecca.

 

[winston wolf]

This one is not too funny by modern standards but it goes to show not much has changed.

Told in Madrid Circa 1637(joke already a couple of hundred years old)

A horse refused to leap aboard a ferry across the river,until a passenger whispered in its ear , whereupon it leapt quickly onto the boat. The ferryman asked the passenger how he had made the horse move so rapidly. The man answered ‘ I told him to leap into the boat as fast as the soul of a lawyer goes to hell’

 

[Seeker]

Good one mate!

 

[Ivan]

This one is not too funny by modern standards but it goes to show not much has changed.

Told in Madrid Circa 1637(joke already a couple of hundred years old)

A horse refused to leap aboard a ferry across the river,until a passenger whispered in its ear , whereupon it leapt quickly onto the boat. The ferryman asked the passenger how he had made the horse move so rapidly. The man answered ‘ I told him to leap into the boat as fast as the soul of a lawyer goes to hell’

The best of the three.

 

[kmaster268]

 

[procrastinasian]

Going for the title:

A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.

 

[Lisa Wilson]

Good one

 

[Tejas]

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.