QLD I really want to away from my husband

[Amyinoz]

Hi. I have been married for 16years, no kids, bought a unit last year in both name.
I have borrowed whole amount of money from my parents to buy the unit.
My husband used to work but an unemployed for long long time. He stays in the house all day watching tv I’m the one working 5days a week, pay the bills and repay to my parents. We have been sleeping separate room for long time but I buy daily stuff and cook for us. He does look for the jobs but very choosy. He says he has a depression so I feel sorry.
We argue a lot. Because I cannot understand his rules. He controls me often and he is a jealous person. If I say the word back to him, he says I’m bullying him.
I have tried many time to leave the house but of course he is here to stop me. I cannot pack my back and sneak out because he is in the house all the time and my backpacks are in his bed room.
Before I do make some action, I want to know about Family Law.
The unit we bought, that’s because it’s in both name, I have to give him half?
He used to take some pills for his depression but not recently. When we argue, I say words to him, means to him, (he says back to me more though,) am I doing DV to him?

Sorry I’m from overseas so my English wasn’t good to explain.

 

[Tremaine]

You’re in Australia, correct?

 

[Amyinoz]

Yes, I’m in QLD

 

[457Visafraud]

Hi. I have been married for 16years, no kids, bought a unit last year in both name.
I have borrowed whole amount of money from my parents to buy the unit.

I wish I could find a wife like you!
But seriously I know stories where are the women who take advantage of the men not the other way around.
I think you have a case for family violence because:

1. Your husband is bullying you by preventing you leave home.
2. He doesn't do any contribution to the family.
3. He controls you.
4. He harasses you.
5. You are like his slave!

Believe me these actions are all illegal in Australia.
I suggest you go to a community legal centre, if you say what suburb you live, I can tell you where to go.
Tell your story and ask for advice, but I can say that you could go to the nearest Magistrate Court and file a family violence complaint.
In there you'll find support and people who will help you understand and fill the forms.
If you are courageous, you could dial 000 and call Police and tell them that you are scared of him and all other things you told here so believe me they will ask to that piece of ^$#@*! to leave home instantly!
In a family violence case it doesn't matter who paid the house because he will get out he likes it or not.
The court will made a date for the preliminary audience, in the mean time he will be forbidden to contact you plus other things.
You can send me a message for more detailed suggestions.

 

[Amyinoz]

I wish I could find a wife like you!
But seriously I know stories where are the women who take advantage of the men not the other way around.
I think you have a case for family violence because:

1. Your husband is bullying you by preventing you leave home.
2. He doesn't do any contribution to the family.
3. He controls you.
4. He harasses you.
5. You are like his slave!

Believe me these actions are all illegal in Australia.
I suggest you go to a community legal centre, if you say what suburb you live, I can tell you where to go.
Tell your story and ask for advice, but I can say that you could go to the nearest Magistrate Court and file a family violence complaint.
In there you'll find support and people who will help you understand and fill the forms.
If you are courageous, you could dial 000 and call Police and tell them that you are scared of him and all other things you told here so believe me they will ask to that piece of ^$#@*! to leave home instantly!
In a family violence case it doesn't matter who paid the house because he will get out he likes it or not.
The court will made a date for the preliminary audience, in the mean time he will be forbidden to contact you plus other things.
You can send me a message for more detailed suggestions.

Thank you for your reply.
It’s a big step for me to go to the Magistrate Court. I know my brain got numb because of him. I’m still worried about him, care him even though I shouldn’t that’s because I have been with him so long time I guess.
But I really don’t want to waste my life like this, being in the prison...
I have to make a decision...
I want more information but I don’t know how to send you a message to you.

 

[457Visafraud]

I want more information but I don’t know how to send you a message to you.

I'm sorry there is no messaging in these forums.
As you said you have to find the courage to do the big step, I know it's easy to say but hard to do.
As for the first thing you should do is going to a community legal centre near you or visit this web site for more information in Queensland: Support for women

You need to talk to other women so hopefully they can give you the strength to do something.
My sister made the same exact mistake, many years with the master, she was going to work everyday with a broken car, he was unemployed and spending time washing the new family car and chatting with friends.
At the end my sister found the courage to take him to court but got nothing back because he never ever worked so he never gave any family support.
What I want to say is the more you stay in this trap, the worst it will be later on.

 

[Amyinoz]

Thanks again.
I have contacted 1800respect number a couple months ago and have talked to one of the counselor. They gave me a woman's shelter phone number. That’s my last resort. Before I escape, I just wanted to know what will happen to the property. I have an appointment next week to talk to the Legal Aid QLD on the phone. So hope will give me a hope.
Slow step though. But I will get my life back.
Wish me luck!

Thank you again..

 

[457Visafraud]

Before I escape, I just wanted to know what will happen to the property

You don't have to escape because you done nothing wrong.
If you call the Police and tell the story, they will ask your master to leave home and to stay well far away from you.
You will get a "free" Lawyer from the local community centre, privileges and protection in the court, family support and so on.
It's up to you, going around with appointments and waiting sounds like (for them) that your case is not very serious nor urgent.
Good luck!!!

 

[Amyinoz]

Sorry I m here again..
You are saying, if I go to the police and tell my story, he has to leave the house?
He said so many time
•he has a right to stay this place
•he has got depression so he can say” I’m in the medication”
•no one will listen and care our matter so don’t waste people’s time

He studied Sociology and Psychology in Uni so he thinks he know many things and he denied and find out people’s faults.
So he is crazy
So I want to study and have to be careful.
It’s been 16 years.. so do it tomorrow or 1 month later, whatever are same to me..
Sorry I am bit crazy too..

 

[457Visafraud]

You are saying, if I go to the police and tell my story, he has to leave the house?
He said so many time
•he has a right to stay this place
•he has got depression so he can say” I’m in the medication”

You don't need to go to Police, just dial 000 which is the emergency line and say that you need help, you don't feel safe at home because your husband is bullying and harassing you, he controls when you leave and when you're back home and other things.
On the phone just say that you need help and that you don't feel safe at home (which is true) because your husband controlling you, then when Police arrive you explain more things.
This is the quick solution to your problem.
It doesn't matter if he has mental problems or just pretending and even if he is on medication (true or false doesn't matter) it doesn't give him the right to master you nor he has the right to stay if you make a family violence complaint to the Police.
He is not the person in need of help, he is just anyone with mental problems who found a weak person.