My ex just filed a notice of risk saying that the kids are at risk because I am emotionally manipulating them by saying that they need to talk to me about everything and that there shouldn’t be any secrets between us. Yes I did say that as I want my kids to have a good relationship with me and not hide things from me. Can this be considered a risk?
QLD Notice of risk query
- Thread starter AnnaS
- Start date
A notice of risk? with who? Doc's?
They need to talk to you about everything? like what? did dad wash his hands before making toast?
Actually, what happens at dad's house is his business, so there could be a case that you're being a problem, if you insist on the kids telling you everything that happens when they're with dad... In short it depends on the circumstances... But you might need to realise that maybe some questions are not worth asking... Trust me, I know, I know... So my kids come back with bruises. They tell me the other parent smacks them.... Doesn't mean the bruises are from smacks and smacking isn't illegal. So I don't ask. If they want to tell me stuff, fine.
They need to talk to you about everything? like what? did dad wash his hands before making toast?
Actually, what happens at dad's house is his business, so there could be a case that you're being a problem, if you insist on the kids telling you everything that happens when they're with dad... In short it depends on the circumstances... But you might need to realise that maybe some questions are not worth asking... Trust me, I know, I know... So my kids come back with bruises. They tell me the other parent smacks them.... Doesn't mean the bruises are from smacks and smacking isn't illegal. So I don't ask. If they want to tell me stuff, fine.
Was applied in Court as part of the Initiating application. No, this is not about what happens at Dad’s house. It’s just a general statement. I don’t ask anything apart from what they are telling me. I really don’t care and Im always teaching the kids about Mum s world and dad s world which are teo different worlds.
ok so if the kids go to dad's and say "mummy said we have to tell her everything..." Do you see how it looks.
He can file a notice of risk. But he will have to substantiate it.... IF as you say it is harmless, then the courts will see it that way and it will not help his cause...
He can file a notice of risk. But he will have to substantiate it.... IF as you say it is harmless, then the courts will see it that way and it will not help his cause...
Notice of risk is a MANDATORY (for those who do not seem to know) form to be filed with all applications and responses. The risk perceived in this notice you mention will be laughed at in court .
Notice of Risk - Federal Circuit Court of Australia
Notice of Risk - Federal Circuit Court of Australia
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To add...while in isolation comments/requests to/of children, such as what you have said here, would not ordinarily be viewed as significant if included in a notice of risk alone (after all, isn’t it a good thing for children to be comfortable enough to confide in and speak freely to parents?)...they can still be taken out of context, if a pattern can be shown, or by way of a Family Report.
Just make sure you are very clear about the underlying intention/meaning of your requests in practice...both to the children and also to the Court (especially when it has been raised as an issue). All the best.
Just make sure you are very clear about the underlying intention/meaning of your requests in practice...both to the children and also to the Court (especially when it has been raised as an issue). All the best.
That is why I was suprised. The problem is that actually while at the OP s house they are taught to keep everything a secret. The kids are still very young so they come home and say to me without asking them anything: this happened but daddy said to keep it a secret because you are not allowed to know. So I then told them that they should feel free to talk to me anything and that keeping secrets from mummy and daddy is not necessary. I don’t want my kids to start hiding from me and to be scared to speak freely. So I do not ask questions about my ex or his life but the kids are excited to tell me about what they have done while away there. I don’t know how to encourage communication with them when inevitably he is coming in the discussions. They are too young to understand.
It's a standard part of not being an absolute s**t parent to encourage your kids to tell you everything.
I hate it when I hear parents whether together or not saying "Don't tell mummy" or "Don't tell daddy" when they buy them ice cream or anything. Kids should be encouraged to be 100% open with both parents all of the time.
I hate it when I hear parents whether together or not saying "Don't tell mummy" or "Don't tell daddy" when they buy them ice cream or anything. Kids should be encouraged to be 100% open with both parents all of the time.
I agree kids being able to speak freely, without reservation, is precisely what should be happening...intact parents or otherwise. Unfortunately, as many here (past litigants, those assisting litigants in whatever capacity or both) are well aware, you have entered a system where “real world” attitudes/opinions do not always match Court outcomes. Skepticism, mostly due to the manipulative actions of some, is rife...innocent actions can easily be misconstrued...assumptions of the Court accepting “but this is what everyone does/should do” can be dangerous to your case.
If it is pressed as an issue...explaination will be required, make no mistake about that...explain as you have done above
If it is pressed as an issue...explaination will be required, make no mistake about that...explain as you have done above
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