Hi all,
I thought I'd update you on the outcome of my final hearing.
My proceedings was primarily about how much time my kids should spend with me, and who should pay the costs of travel. My ex moved with the kids after we broke up, when the kids were very young. We (stupidly) didn't reach an agreement about time with me or travel costs before they left, and in the first few years, I did all the travel because they were too young to travel alone.
When they were old enough to fly alone, I wanted them to spend time with me in my home, but my ex wanted me to continue doing all the travel and spending time with them near where they live. Also, my ex didn't ever agree for me to see them more than once or twice a year.
Fast forward a couple of years of trying to reach an agreement about this, including 12 months having mediation through Family Relationships Australia (worse than useless). Proceedings commenced by my ex in October 2016 (she wanted to get in first in case I commenced proceedings in my state).
The Judge didn't read any affidavits before the first interim hearing and would not order that the children spend any more time with me than my ex would agree to because he "didn't know what was going on with these kids" (The answer, if he had asked, was "nothing unusual other than they rarely get to see their dad"). So I only saw them twice this year and had to pay for all airfares.
Last week was our final hearing, and the judge gave me all the orders I asked for, including 3/4 of all school holidays. He ordered that we share travel costs 1/3 her and 2/3 me (I suggested this because I earn more than she does).
My ex's *massive* error was failing to provide a single reason in her affidavits as to why the children should not see me during each school holidays. I don't know how she got it so wrong, given she was legally represented the entire time. Her evidence was entirely focused on our marriage (as if the judge cared whether I started more arguments than she did before we broke up 5 years ago), which was irrelevant because we had agreed that there should be equal shared parental responsibility.
My barrister kept cross-examination extremely brief because we didn't want to give my ex a chance to actually provide a cogent reason why the children shouldn't see me during each school holidays. This worked and the judge appeared completely bemused by my ex's approach to the proceedings.
I direct briefed my barrister a few months before the final hearing to minimise fees - my total fees were around $6,000. I wrote my own affidavit (I am a lawyer, but with no training or experience in family law) and was very careful not to be baited by the outrageous (but entirely irrelevant) allegations my ex made in her affidavits. I only talked about the kids, what my relationship with them was like, how I facilitated them having a relationship with my family and why I believed it was important that the spend regular time with me.
My ex instructed a lawyer and a barrister throughout the proceedings. She told the court that her legal costs were over $40k - a lot of money to pay for a case that was always a loser.
I thought I'd update you on the outcome of my final hearing.
My proceedings was primarily about how much time my kids should spend with me, and who should pay the costs of travel. My ex moved with the kids after we broke up, when the kids were very young. We (stupidly) didn't reach an agreement about time with me or travel costs before they left, and in the first few years, I did all the travel because they were too young to travel alone.
When they were old enough to fly alone, I wanted them to spend time with me in my home, but my ex wanted me to continue doing all the travel and spending time with them near where they live. Also, my ex didn't ever agree for me to see them more than once or twice a year.
Fast forward a couple of years of trying to reach an agreement about this, including 12 months having mediation through Family Relationships Australia (worse than useless). Proceedings commenced by my ex in October 2016 (she wanted to get in first in case I commenced proceedings in my state).
The Judge didn't read any affidavits before the first interim hearing and would not order that the children spend any more time with me than my ex would agree to because he "didn't know what was going on with these kids" (The answer, if he had asked, was "nothing unusual other than they rarely get to see their dad"). So I only saw them twice this year and had to pay for all airfares.
Last week was our final hearing, and the judge gave me all the orders I asked for, including 3/4 of all school holidays. He ordered that we share travel costs 1/3 her and 2/3 me (I suggested this because I earn more than she does).
My ex's *massive* error was failing to provide a single reason in her affidavits as to why the children should not see me during each school holidays. I don't know how she got it so wrong, given she was legally represented the entire time. Her evidence was entirely focused on our marriage (as if the judge cared whether I started more arguments than she did before we broke up 5 years ago), which was irrelevant because we had agreed that there should be equal shared parental responsibility.
My barrister kept cross-examination extremely brief because we didn't want to give my ex a chance to actually provide a cogent reason why the children shouldn't see me during each school holidays. This worked and the judge appeared completely bemused by my ex's approach to the proceedings.
I direct briefed my barrister a few months before the final hearing to minimise fees - my total fees were around $6,000. I wrote my own affidavit (I am a lawyer, but with no training or experience in family law) and was very careful not to be baited by the outrageous (but entirely irrelevant) allegations my ex made in her affidavits. I only talked about the kids, what my relationship with them was like, how I facilitated them having a relationship with my family and why I believed it was important that the spend regular time with me.
My ex instructed a lawyer and a barrister throughout the proceedings. She told the court that her legal costs were over $40k - a lot of money to pay for a case that was always a loser.