QLD False Allegations and Domestic Violence Order - What to Do?

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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Look, I think the AVO is a hassle. Here is why if he defends it then it is him against the prosecutor and without a solicitor, he is gonna struggle. Accepting without admission is a reasonable compromise, and you asked about the long-term impact of an AVO when it comes to family law matters.

Accept AVO without admission will cause him less grief than a trial and where he loses and gets the AVO anyways.

Just out of interest are there any assets that are gonna need to be sorted between them?
 

Hope this helps

Well-Known Member
26 March 2016
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Hi, It wasn't his own solicitor who advised him to accept the dvo without admission because he doesn't have a solicitor. It was a duty solicitor at the magistrates court who spoke to him the first time he went there. He told him to do that even if he hasn't done anything because it would be the quickest way for him to able to see his kids again, which is his main concern. The magistrate gave a temp dvo just including his wife and she told them to go to mediation to make a parenting plan. When they eventually went to the mediation they were in separate rooms and she won't budge from her stance of 2 hrs in a contact centre once a month, so it wasn't a judge who ordered this. He realises that he's not going to get anywhere until he gets a chance to defend himself in court.

Ann22, so I thought. A person who has an AVO on them doesn't affect them seeing the children or just the ex-partner. Two separate issues. Two separate courts. Family courts come under Fedral Law/ courts.

Your brother only has a temp AVO on him at the moment. The magistrate court has asked both parents to work out a parenting plan and unfortunately your brother settled for 2 hrs, once a month in a contact centre. When he, too, should have refused therefore the mediation Practioner would have had to write to the courts stating no resolution between these parents can be made and hand out a certificate that he attended as a record and he would have to get a lawyer or get on the computer have a look here as they have information and documents that may assist him so he can print them out and he starts knowing his rights, the law etc.

As I have mentioned whether or not a partner has an AVO on their partner or each other, it doesn't matter where the children are involved. Family court only thinks of the best interest of the children. The best interest of the children is to spend time with both parents and co-parenting of the children.

Family court's main interest is not to fix, mediate two adults relationship. Family court prioritizes the children's needs. Property settlement will also come into it, but you keep stating your brother's main thing is seeing the children. Family court orders override AVO orders regarding seeing the children. So if the AVO states the parent can not come near the other parent within 100-500 meters, go to their place of residence, phone etc ...

That all get over rides by family court orders that state the person with the AVO is to pick up the children at the partners residence every second week and drop them back at the residence of partner. And they are to have contact by phone between the hours of 4-6 pm Tues. and Thurs. evenings. Just to give you an example.

If your brother wishes to get a lawyer or is strong enough to stand up and state he has not called his partner a...Xyz. Nor was he aggressive, physical, whatever then he has every right to fight and not take the AVO. Accepting the AVO with or without admission will not make a difference to the time it will get him into family court to see his children. In fact, the Judge will be wondering why and what has he done to agree to having contact with the children only once a month for two hours at a contact centre!
He should be going back to mediation and change this agreement as its a bad one. The worst! Prisoners see their children more than this!

If he has committed any form of AVO then he might as well take the AVO without admission. if he feels so strongly that in no way he has committed domestic violence (and he had better think about what he has said and done plus understand what Domestic Violence means), then at most, he will spend as little as 30 mins (if he has a lawyer) to 4 hours. Again he should have a lawyer!

If in anyway his partner has committed Domestic Violence upon him, then he has as much right to place an AVO on the mother. As it is, he hasn't seen his children much if any at the moment. Have him
push the contact centre into getting the mother to agree with a time suitable for him to see his children for two hours.

Get himself a lawyer adapter as he has placed himself into the worse position regarding contact with his children. So he should apply to mediation to re assess and change the parenting plan plus state the mother is not complying with the contact centre and he hasn't seen the children.


Note: if what you say is correct and the mother is using the children as a form of emotional and mental abuse, or a form of power to control bases regarding your brother, this is against the law and is also child abuse. You also claim she is manipulative and wanted a PR card, then I suggest if your brother really hasn't committed any DV to fight against having an AVO placed on him, because a person such as the mother can cry wolf and have your brother back and forth in court in trouble with police charged with a CCriminalagency if she claims or has a breach an AVO and his life will be hell.

I sense your brother has committed domestic violence but so has the mother more so than the father and as I said- get your brother to read up on domestic violence, check if he has committed it or not. And check if she has on him and he can place one on her.

Either way - AVO's do not hinder time wise of seeing children if the dispute n AVO is between parents.
But your brother needs a lawyer! Needs to widen up and read up to gain knowledge of what is AVOs, domestic violence, consider property settlement and most of all both parents have equal rights to have access to the children.

So he it's best to use his brain power to absorb knowledge and advice regarding the law, rights of his and the children rather than wasting his time worrying. Get himself a lawyer because if he is going to settle to see his children for 2 hours, once a month at a contact centre if he hasn't done anything to the children, mother or anyone else for that matter, he definitely needs help in the best interest of himself!
 

Anne22

Active Member
7 April 2016
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Hi sammy01,

He realises that he will probably get the dvo anyway, but he doesn't want to accept it without his admission because he hasn't done anything. He knows his best chance will be when it goes to the family court.

I don't know much about the assets - they were living in a house owned by our parents, my brother worked full time and she didn't work at all. My brother paid for everything to do with her getting her visa to live in australia and supported her and the kids.

He has savings from before he knew her which he was going to use to by a house for the family - will she be able to get any of that if he already had the money before he met her? I think he's hoping to use that money to buy a house when he moves to the area where they are now living and he's had to spend some of it to live on since he had to finish work.
 

Anne22

Active Member
7 April 2016
8
0
31
Hi,

He's not settling for the 2 hours a month - he can either have that or nothing. They were at the mediation for 2 hours and his wife won't let him have any more than that, so until it goes to family court he's got no option but to settle for that at the moment.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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721
2,894
Ok, so he can accept the 2 hours but still get the certificate required to go to court. That is a good idea. Take the time but do so reluctantly.

I also think he should use some of his savings to get a solicitor to get him into family court. ASAP.

He should make sure the ex can't access any of his money. Look she might get her hands on some of his assets / cash. But that should be the least of his worries. By the sounds of things, he wants to see his kid as priority 1. So let's not worry about assets. As a rule, the courts like to sort children's matters first then do assets.
 

Anne22

Active Member
7 April 2016
8
0
31
Hi sammy01,

I think he 's doing the right thing - he doesn't seem to have any option but to accept the 2 hrs anyway. I just spoke to him on the phone and he's phoned the contact centre every day - they say they are still waiting for his wife to contact them with a time/ date for him to see the kids, so she is still messing him about and he just has to hang around waiting for her to do something. She seems to be in control of everything and he has to just go along with it.

Re: the assets. He said he's buying a house where she's moved to because he can't handle driving back and forth 600kms all the time and it's costing him a lot to do that all the time, besides being very exhausting. Unfortunately, it isn't gong to leave him with any money, so I'm not sure if that's the best idea, but I guess he has to do what he thinks is best at the time.
 

Hope this helps

Well-Known Member
26 March 2016
116
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414
Hi sammy01,

I think he 's doing the right thing - he doesn't seem to have any option but to accept the 2 hrs anyway. I just spoke to him on the phone and he's phoned the contact centre every day - they say they are still waiting for his wife to contact them with a time/ date for him to see the kids, so she is still messing him about and he just has to hang around waiting for her to do something. She seems to be in control of everything and he has to just go along with it.

Re: the assets. He said he's buying a house where she's moved to because he can't handle driving back and forth 600kms all the time and it's costing him a lot to do that all the time, besides being very exhausting. Unfortunately, it isn't gong to leave him with any money, so I'm not sure if that's the best idea, but I guess he has to do what he thinks is best at the time.

Anne22, can you do me a favour and Sammy too, and answer if you know some actual facts.

Are they married?

How long have they been separated for?

Are the children both his or if not has he officially adopted the children as his?

Does he still have a job?

Has he been served a Temp AVO?

Is he now waiting to attend court hearing regarding AVO? And does he intend to stand up and state he didn't do any of what she has accused him of?

Are the AVO accusations in reference to what he did to his partner and is her name only on it? Not the children?

Is the mother not accusing him of doing anything to the children?

Did they go to magistrate court who told them to go to mediation and work out a parenting plan?

They went for two hours only but because the mother wouldn't agree to anything else but two hours a month at a contact centre, did he just simply agreed? How long ago was this agreed upon?

How long has it been since the contact centre has tried to come to some arrangement regarding contact day and time once per month?

How long has it been since he has not had contact with the children?

When does he return for his hearing in court regarding the AVO? (Don't give the precise date)

Is the house they lived in not in his name but his parents' name?

He has savings but you don't know what property or what she owns in her country or anywhere else?

Does he have a certificate given to him from a Mediation Practioner?

Does it state both parents are in agreement? And if so, what is stopping him from going back to mediation and bringing the mother back (if necessary), stating he doesn't agree with the parenting plans as it is unfair and not enough time for the children and himself to spend time together.

She herself is not abiding by them. The contact centre is having trouble contacting and making arrangements with her on his behalf regarding contact time and date with children. So, therefore, new arrangements of parenting plans must be made?

He then doesn't agree unless he spends every second weekend or whatever works in with his job as they are only babies aged under 2 years, are they not? And if that's the case, whether one or both are still breastfeeding?

Either way, he can return to mediation and refuse so he can get to court quicker by obtaining a certificate that states neither of them can agree. Otherwise, the court will send them back into mediation as he agreed to the terms so as far as anyone is concerned, the father is happy with the agreement.

Sammy01 and I cannot stress strongly enough that he needs a lawyer! I'm sorry to be so blunt but if the father who states he has not committed any form of Domestic Violence is willing to stand up and state this even with an attitude, he will get an AVO placed on him anyway ( which isn't true) but easily accepts 2 hours a month at a contact centre when he really wants to spend as much time as possible with the children - he is no match for the mother and needs a solicitor because, obviously, he is incapable of mediating on behalf of himself or the children's!

And as both sammy01 and you have explained, parenting issues are sorted out before property. But if you want a guide of possible outcomes regarding this areas please answer the above.
 

SingleFather

Member
29 December 2016
4
3
1
Either way - AVO's do not hinder time wise of seeing children if the dispute n AVO is between parents.
But your brother needs a lawyer! Needs to widen up and read up to gain knowledge of what is AVOs, domestic violence, consider property settlement and most of all both parents have equal rights to have access to the children.

This is entirely untrue. AVO's definitely hinder him from seeing the children, particularly if the children are listed on the AVO. He cannot go to their school or other events. He cannot contact them. He cannot go to their home. He is told to stay away. The mother is obviously being obstructive and using the AVO as an excuse to keep the children from him, which is exactly the same in my case.

I am facing a very similar situation to him and am disgusted how women use AVO's (legitimate or not) to keep their children from the father. This is an all too common occurrence and in my view the applicant should be made to show more reasonable evidence or proof beyond reasonable doubt that violence has been committed.

I recommend he contest the AVO, with or without a solicitor, listing in great detail his reasons why and continue to press for more time with the children. Also, he should keep taking it back to family court again and again, until he gets what he wants. And he should emphatically say he will not go away until he is given fair time with his children.

I can see exactly why he settled for 2 hours a month, because if he disagreed, he would need to take it to court which would unreasonably delay any contact at all that he gets with the children. Again, I was given exactly the same treatment.

It's high time the mother was made accountable for her actions and made to give reasons why she is keeping the children from him. She should also be made to prove how he is a risk to her and/or the children, otherwise the AVO should be withdrawn.
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
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794
This is entirely untrue. AVO's definitely hinder him from seeing the children, particularly if the children are listed on the AVO. He cannot go to their school or other events. He cannot contact them. He cannot go to their home. He is told to stay away.

Correct. Hence the other posters suggestions of seeking urgent legal advice and making an application to the Family Court.

SingleFather said:
The mother is obviously being obstructive and using the AVO as an excuse to keep the children from him, which is exactly the same in my case.
I am facing a very similar situation to him and am disgusted how women use AVO's (legitimate or not) to keep their children from the father.
This is an all too common occurrence and in my view the applicant should be made to show more reasonable evidence or proof beyond reasonable doubt that violence has been committed.

If an AVO is legitimate then there is obviously a need for protection for a parent and/or child/ren. Yes obtaining an AVO can be strategic for some (so too can be the frequently cited catch phrase by some posters of "just consent without admission" even when they do not have the full/complete facts) but obtaining an AVO can also be very necessary for others. Are you suggesting those with legitimate protection needs should not be protected?


SingleFather said:
Also, he should keep taking it back to family court again and again, until he gets what he wants. And he should emphatically say he will not go away until he is given fair time with his children.

Certainly he should make an application to the Family Court but I would personally advise caution about the manner in which to approach his ex given the current situation, general climate and proposed amendments.


SingleFather" said:
It's high time the mother was made accountable for her actions and made to give reasons why she is keeping the children from him. She should also be made to prove how he is a risk to her and/or the children, otherwise the AVO should be withdrawn.

I would expect her reason in keeping the children from him is the same reasons she is trying to get an AVO?

AVO aside, he needs to make an application to the Family Court.
 

WarrenS

Active Member
23 October 2018
6
1
34
Hi to everyone here experiencing abuse from your partner, from the Family law system and police domestic violence unit, 3 words, record, record, record. I am going through this with my ex wife who has made many allegations including assault. I have the evidence of her abuse and assault but it has been covered up by the police domestic violence unit, who stated to me my wife is a police protected person who can not be charged with assault, yes this is a lie, but this what police will do, I have recorded all their lies and they are not happy and its legal.

So always prepare your self with video and audio recording record all conversations, police will try and tell you its not legal but it is, my advise do not tell people you are recording and once you have a recording go through the recording and write notes to any thing that is important for example, at 2.05 mins this happen, at 5,60min this was said. Put cameras in your car that record video and sound

Back up your notes and keep a copy somewhere else, if not sure how to do it ask a freind, I have 70Gb of evidence and now heads are rolling. Do it, it will save you a lot of greif, hartake and money in the long run, never say "Ah she will be right," it never will be unless you put the hard work in
And if you not happy with the way the police and domestic violence unit is treating you get the evidence and take it to your state police integrity they investigate police.
 
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