This is my story in a nutshell!
My ex-husband and I have been separated for 2 years. Divorce and Property Settlement has all been finalised. We have two children together - 11 years (boy) and 8 years (girl). Have tried Mediation for parenting issues a few times in the past but have never had a response from him.
We have no formal orders for the children. Over the time that we have been separated, they have just had time with their Dad when he is available and willing, and when they are happy to do so. My daughter (8) has no relationship at all with her father - part of the reason of our separation and has only spent 5 nights in his care in the last 2 years.
My son had a strong relationship with his Dad at the start of our separation but it has sadly crumbled due to choices that his Dad has made. Dad has been in a relationship with another woman for about 12 months. They have just had their first baby (fast, I know!) and she also has a 9-year-old girl.
My ex-husband has made it very clear to the children that he has a 'new family' now and that has, therefore, over time destroyed any relationship that my 11-year-old had with his Dad. About 6 weeks ago, my 11-year-old was subject to an abusive conversation with his Dad's new partner and his Dad, stemming from my 11-year-old expressing to his Dad that he was not happy with how things were going and he would like some time with his Dad only.
He has not had any time with just he and his Dad for 12 months. New partner and daughter are always present and he says he feels like a 'stranger.'
In December, upon advice from my solicitor, I changed the child support percentage to 1 night a fortnight (which is generous!) and therefore, the care percentage changed. Child support was previously just the standard every second weekend (86% me 14% him). In February, I received a really dodgy (lol) set of consent orders to change parenting arrangement. With my solicitor, we responded that we need to attend mediation firstly. We haven't had a response until now, July - saying that he will now attend mediation.
So my two questions are!
- If we don't agree at mediation, what kind of family court costs are we possibly looking at to take it further? (No access to Legal Aid)
- I am represented in mediation by my solicitor. He is unrepresented - does this make any different to outcomes?
- My plan for resolution in mediation is to encourage my ex-husband to rebuild a relationship with his children (if he chooses to do that) and then reassess any plans for possible family court orders in a period of time.
- I keep a diary of all contact that he has with the children. I have never denied him access. Will this evidence play a part in proving he has not made any effort to have a relationship with his children? So to put some strategies into place before any final decisions are made?
My ex-husband and I have been separated for 2 years. Divorce and Property Settlement has all been finalised. We have two children together - 11 years (boy) and 8 years (girl). Have tried Mediation for parenting issues a few times in the past but have never had a response from him.
We have no formal orders for the children. Over the time that we have been separated, they have just had time with their Dad when he is available and willing, and when they are happy to do so. My daughter (8) has no relationship at all with her father - part of the reason of our separation and has only spent 5 nights in his care in the last 2 years.
My son had a strong relationship with his Dad at the start of our separation but it has sadly crumbled due to choices that his Dad has made. Dad has been in a relationship with another woman for about 12 months. They have just had their first baby (fast, I know!) and she also has a 9-year-old girl.
My ex-husband has made it very clear to the children that he has a 'new family' now and that has, therefore, over time destroyed any relationship that my 11-year-old had with his Dad. About 6 weeks ago, my 11-year-old was subject to an abusive conversation with his Dad's new partner and his Dad, stemming from my 11-year-old expressing to his Dad that he was not happy with how things were going and he would like some time with his Dad only.
He has not had any time with just he and his Dad for 12 months. New partner and daughter are always present and he says he feels like a 'stranger.'
In December, upon advice from my solicitor, I changed the child support percentage to 1 night a fortnight (which is generous!) and therefore, the care percentage changed. Child support was previously just the standard every second weekend (86% me 14% him). In February, I received a really dodgy (lol) set of consent orders to change parenting arrangement. With my solicitor, we responded that we need to attend mediation firstly. We haven't had a response until now, July - saying that he will now attend mediation.
So my two questions are!
- If we don't agree at mediation, what kind of family court costs are we possibly looking at to take it further? (No access to Legal Aid)
- I am represented in mediation by my solicitor. He is unrepresented - does this make any different to outcomes?
- My plan for resolution in mediation is to encourage my ex-husband to rebuild a relationship with his children (if he chooses to do that) and then reassess any plans for possible family court orders in a period of time.
- I keep a diary of all contact that he has with the children. I have never denied him access. Will this evidence play a part in proving he has not made any effort to have a relationship with his children? So to put some strategies into place before any final decisions are made?