NSW Will New Partner's Criminal History Affect Interim Parenting Orders?

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Bill1978

Member
17 February 2017
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Hoping someone can assist.

I'm currently going through a separation and about to seek interim parenting orders.

Some history:

My ex-wife's new partner (cause of the relationship breakdown) has several recent criminal convictions against his name, being driving whilst his drivers licence was cancelled. It's also my understanding the police attempted to charge him (unsuccessfully) under Skye's Law, however it's my understanding he was charged.

Furthermore it's my understanding he has current fraud charges afoot in the criminal courts.

My solicitor is seeking a copy of his criminal history as part of proceedings to determine my children's safety around this man. Will any of the above be considered as part of the hearing and furthermore will it potentially improve my outcome?

Clearly my concern is the best interest of my children and the influence such a person could potentially have on them.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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His criminal history is of no concern of yours... Not unless there is reason to believe he has a history of child abuse.

Fraud, driving whilst suspended mean nothing as far as you're kids go. I reckon you're wasting money...

So what is your plan? trying to get more time with the kids because you're ex is partnered to a petty crook?

Look, either he is a danger and the kids should have zero exposure to him, or he is not... You can't argue that mum should only have the kids every second weekend because of this bloke because the dodgy logic is he won't cause them any damage on alternate weekends...

Either he is a danger or he is not. He can't be a danger some of the time.
 
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AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Agree with the above. These aren't dangerous crimes. Immoral, sure, but fraud doesn't make him a risk to the kids' safety, and people can lose their licenses for too many parking fines.

You're better off trusting that mum won't expose her own kids to dangerous people.
 

Bill1978

Member
17 February 2017
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Thanks, I appreciate the frank reply.

My intention is not in any way to deprive the children of a relationship with their mother.

It's my understanding that this individual is a bikie gang associate and given the above my concern is the potential negtive impact on the children. Furthermore, they are relaying contents of solicitor correspondence to the children and are making derogatory comments about me in their presence, I can only assume in an attempt to alienate me.

Obviously not moral persons however just seeking to understand my rights and those of my children.

They have gone so far as to discuss the possibility of him going to jail with the children, I just struggle with the concept that this is a healthy environment for my children to be in.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Look, the best way to tackle alienation is to seek orders that maximise the kids' time with you, and prove all of mum's opinions wrong.

What kind of time are you seeking? How long have you been separated and what time have you been spending with the kids since separation?
 

Bill1978

Member
17 February 2017
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Been separated about 10 months.

I will give you some background:

We lived under the same roof until recently. I still reside in the matrimonial home, she pursued this relationship almost immediately and started introductions between the kids and him within a week of our separation.

In our about December, she started spending 7 nights a fortnight away from the home and in essence I became the primary carer. During this time care was shared 50/50 however I was home most nights.

Whilst I was away on business travel last week, she relocated the children and moved them into a new home, and has failed to advise me as to the location, the children ended up letting me know where they were

Since she moved out, we currently we have a week about verbal agreement.

Over previous ten months she had allowed him to operate a vehicle unlicensed with the children as occupants, encouraged them to ride dirt bikes in main roads, even going so far as to invite this man into our home and matrimonial bed whilst I was away.

This man has threatened and intimidated me and gone so far as to coming to my home with her to "discuss things like men".

I have taken the matter to police multiple times however have not taken out a violence order.

Seeking orders to the effect of Monday to Friday with me and weekends and Wednesday evenings with mum, ideally not in the presence of this man.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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You're on a hiding to nothing...And you're not picking your battles at all well. You have no say about who your ex chooses to associate with / introduces kids to.

You could spend thousands - nope, tens of thousands and in fact hundreds of thousands of dollars going through the family law system and you won't get 9 nights with you a fortnight, no contact with the partner's new fella and a order stipulating she doesn't speak negatively to the kids about you....

You might get an order that she must not speak negatively about you...but she will do it anyways. What then?

And guess what - he didn't drive unlicensed nor did the kids ride on the road on dirt bikes... (OK look they might have and probably did), but unless the police catch them, arrest them, charge them and it goes to court, then it doesn't matter and it didn't happen.

Mate I totally understand - Been in a similar situation. You need to understand that there is a little bit in this world that you can control and none of this is even close to being part of that bit that you can control... not even a little bit.

Learn to pick your battles.
 

Bill1978

Member
17 February 2017
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Thanks for the advice Sammi,

This is all relatively new to me and just trying to educate myself, I appreciate you being so frank.

Always good to get an opinion from someone who has lived it, and not emotionally invested in the situation.
 

Cairnsdad

Well-Known Member
10 January 2016
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Hi Bill,

I have to say I disagree with some of the comments above offering you advice as it seems that your original question as to whether the new boyfriend's criminal history will be possibly factored into any Family Court decision has been overlooked. The simple answer that they both skipped is absolutely it can be depending on what it is. The charges you mentioned might be the only things on his history and not taken into account, but they also might not be all that is there.

The reality is your solicitor has told you they want it so clearly they are best positioned to know whether it will be helpful or not and I can tell you it costs about $150 for them to get it (In Qld). It could just be that they are hoping it will be useful if you go to court down the track and no one knows what the Judge will use in their decisions.

The fact you have gone on to say that this guy has made intimidating and threatening abuse towards you and visited your home is serious and needs to be stopped. I have been in this situation and I can tell you for fact it does not stop if you ignore it, it is clearly condoned by the mother or your children or she would stop it, it shows you very clearly you will always struggle to attend sporting events etc for your children whilst he is there and more than anything that the BS expectations are always on men to suck it up and take the abuse, abuse no female would ever be expected to endure from your female partner in the reverse.

I didn't have to bother with an AVO because the Police advised me to film every handover and like clockwork her boyfriend drunkenly started to abuse me during a handover for not paying more child support. Oh and yup the film and the transcript were used as evidence in Family Court 2 years after to help me get full custody.

Look mate you are the children's father so you are hurting badly because you want to protect them like you have always done even when they are not in your care and what you are feeling is the helplessness that you simply can't protect them when they are with their mum. You are also better placed than most to decide whether you can simply blindly trust your ex like you were told above so that's up to you.

Some mothers after separation put their children first always and therefore deserve the trust however some mothers don't. Your ex sounds like a carbon copy of mine in some of her actions with the new BF and I can assure you none of her actions instilled trust with her care of my boys around her BF.

As sammy says, do the right thing always, dot all the i's and cross the t's and it will eventually work out. Listen to your solicitor, if you don't trust they have your best interests at heart than get a new one. One of the hardest things I have ever overcome in my life was listening to my children tell me all the terrible lies their mother and her BF said to them about me to try and influence them.

Never underestimate that even at a young age children know when adults are lying to them so trust that they will know the truth themselves one day even if they don't just yet. Nothing their mother says will change the way they feel about you if you continue to show them love.

Sorry it is so long winded.

Best of luck mate.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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OK - but the nasty dude has no obligation to go to the cop shop and ask for a criminal record to hand over to bill... So, Bill has to spend time and money in family court and the magistrate is likely to say nope. Why?

Well, this nasty dude is just that a nasty dude, sure he is in a relationship with Bill's ex... But it is not a de facto relationship, he is just some bloke - yep they might be living together but so what..

Now Bill tells us he went to the cops, I'm reading between the lines that he gave the cops nasty dude's name etc. Now if he was a really really nasty dude like of the Chopper Reid variety then the cops would have jumped on this as an opportunity to catch up with nasty dude.... but they didn't.

So solicitor is applying to get this guys criminal history released. Now nasty dude has a right to privacy too, doesn't he? So let's say he has done some jail time... Drugs, car theft, assault, lets throw extortion in there too.... He has a history of running over small furry animals - he is really nasty... None of it matters.

If he has criminal history for child abuse, different story. But I'm willing to bet that doesn't show in his rap sheet. So what then? All been for nothing.

Old mate - bill - Here is a link to what magistrates can consider when determining parenting cases
Parenting cases - the best interest of the child - Family Court of Australia

So it says nothing about excluding some bloke from the kids life because he is a nasty dude.

But - warning warning.... Read this bit about what a magistrate can consider.

The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the child and the other parent.

Now the reason that one matters to you is because you are at risk of coming across as a nasty vindictive ex who is jealous of the ex's new relationship and you are using the courts to try to seek some vengeance on the ex for leaving you for the nasty dude and as such you don't have the willingness or ability to encourage a close relationship with the other parent.

So going hard on this one has the potential to harm your case.