NSW When Can Children Stop Going to Dad's Under Family Law?

[Sharleen]

Hi. I have a 12-year-old and 10-year-old children. They have been very unhappy going to their dad's for many years. I have tried on many occasions to discuss other arrangements with no success. The older they are getting the more emotions are being seen.

1 of my children have a high anxiety causing them to vomit the night before and morning of having to go. That particular child also has severe nightmares of the father. My other child suffers anxiety also, plus OCD and has an emotional anger issues, which surface only around the dates of going to their dad's. I have had appointments with counsellors, psychologists, mentors, and read so much on the internet, but I still have no answer on when my 2 children can stop seeing their dad.

My heart breaks every time they need to go because they are scared of him and I can't protect them from going. Their father is a massive control freak, which is why I left in the first place and he now causes the children grief. I'm not one of these mums using the children against their dad. I'm genuinely concerned for their mental health and wellbeing.

If anyone can help me get help under family law, please please respond. My children are in need of help.

 

[PA25]

Hi. I have a 12-year-old and 10-year-old children. They have been very unhappy going to their dad's for many years. I have tried on many occasions to discuss other arrangements with no success. The older they are getting the more emotions are being seen.

1 of my children have a high anxiety causing them to vomit the night before and morning of having to go. That particular child also has severe nightmares of the father. My other child suffers anxiety also, plus OCD and has an emotional anger issues, which surface only around the dates of going to their dad's. I have had appointments with counsellors, psychologists, mentors, and read so much on the internet, but I still have no answer on when my 2 children can stop seeing their dad.

My heart breaks every time they need to go because they are scared of him and I can't protect them from going. Their father is a massive control freak, which is why I left in the first place and he now causes the children grief. I'm not one of these mums using the children against their dad. I'm genuinely concerned for their mental health and wellbeing.

If anyone can help me get help under family law, please please respond. My children are in need of help.

If you have a reasonable excuse (and you do!) you don't have to send them, below is from the NSW family court;

What is a reasonable excuse?
The Court will then look at whether you had a defence, that is, a reasonable excuse for breaching the order.

A defence to contravention proceedings is that you have a “reasonable excuse” for contact not taking place, that is, the health and safety of children or your own health and safety is threatened.

This means that if you are able to prove that you had a reasonable excuse for contact not taking place, you will not be found to have breached the order.

If they do find that you have breached the order it's pretty much slap on the wrist for the first time. Do you have letters from your kids teachers, doctors etc backing up their claims? If not, you need them. This will let you make this a permanent arrangement. But do not send them anymore, let the system work for you for once. Everything is so slow, especially at this time of year. It will be after Christmas before you have to do anything.

Below is what happens the first time you breach a parenting order.

What happens if there is a parenting order in place and it is not followed ?

If you do not do what the court order says, you are breaching the order. The father can bring contravention proceedings in the court against you. This where he asks the court to enforce the contact order to make you comply with the contact arrangements.

The court will first decide whether you have actually breached the order.

If a person has not followed an order, the following options are available:

• attend dispute resolution
• getting legal advice
• applying to the court

PS - saying the kids have the flu is a reasonable excuse until you get your ducks in a row.

I have a very controlling ex too, all the best.