What is the normal arrangements for changeover?

[LouiseThomas]

I haven't had experience with the court system but wanting to know what happens regarding changeover. Do the courts award one parent (i.e the father) to do all the traveling? Or is it usually a meet half way thing?

If the mother is the primary care giver and the father only sees the child on school holidays due to distance then isn't it more practical that the father drive and collect child from mothers place and then also drop off to mothers place? It's only during school holidays so not like its happening every weekend. Distance is 2 hours to the fathers place.

If we went to court what do you think would happen?

 

[Alina Kleiman]

Hi Louise. I am a family law mediator. Usually when parents are negotiating a Parenting Plan they would discuss how best to share the travel, especially if it is such a long way. Each family has unique circumstances so it is difficult to generalise however in most cases changeover would be shared. For example - father collects and mother drops off. Alternatively you could meet half way somewhere. If one of the parents is happy to do all the travelling then that is fine too. If the two of you can not agree you need to try mediation before going to Court. What is the current arrangement?

 

[LouiseThomas]

Hi Alina thanks so much great advice. Yes so at present the father does all pick up which is 2 hour round trip. He is saying it should be shared.

He wants to do mediation but the mother (my sister) insists on him doing all the traveling as per really old orders. I am usually only posting on here to get info for her as she is dyslexic and not able to converse in this fashion.

 

[LouiseThomas]

To confirm, original post was worded by the mother. I am merely here to pass on information.

 

[Nonfiction]

If we went to court what do you think would happen?

In the Court...if a agreement cannot be reached, it can come down to the actual distance, method of travel e.g. whether it is driving distance or flights are required and, which parent moved further away from the child

 

[LouiseThomas]

Okay so he has always done the 4 hour round trip (2 hours each way) to get the child and only in school holiday times as thats only time he gets. They have been arguing about what is fair and because old orders (consent) say he has to do all pick ups and drop offs she is holding onto that.

I am trying to help both parties here. Bit frustrating to say the least.

 

[LouiseThomas]

In the Court...if a agreement cannot be reached, it can come down to the actual distance, method of travel e.g. whether it is driving distance or flights are required and, which parent moved further away from the child

Yes only via car. When dad separated from Mum he moved away for work within a month so distance is because of him and that's my sisters point.

He argues a 4 hour round trip is not fair and she should at least be willing to do some driving.

 

[Alina Kleiman]

He wants to do mediation but the mother (my sister) insists on him doing all the traveling as per really old orders. I am usually only posting on here to get info for her as she is dyslexic and not able to converse in this fashion.[/QUOTE]

For mediation to be appropriate there needs to be "capacity". So thats the first question - does she have capacity? This can usually be managed in mediation by allowing her to bring in a support person. If it is appropriate it is always the best place to start. I guess she can always call his bluff and simply not agree to doing any of the travelling in which case his options are to accept it and continue with the status quo, initiate mediation and if she refuses to attend mediation he could go to Court. That is always a possibility but usually an unnecessary expense and stress. An important consideration is the impact on the children of the parents being in conflict. If Dad becomes increasingly frustrated with having to do all the travel the children are likely to be aware of it and become impacted. It is always helpful to focus on the children when trying to resolve these sorts of conflicts. If it helps I most often see parents share the travel in some way especially if one parent is adamant about it.

 

[Nonfiction]

Yes only via car. When dad separated from Mum he moved away for work within a month so distance is because of him and that's my sisters point.

He argues a 4 hour round trip is not fair and she should at least be willing to do some driving.

Yes and herein lies the tricky part...mum is well within her rights to continue to follow the Court Orders and, in order to have the matter return to court there would need to be a significant change in circumstances aka Rice & Asplund...I doubt dad simply wanting to change the current travel arrangements based on perceptions of “fairness” would meet that threshold. Especially when the Federal Circuit and Family Courts are in the process of fast tracking everything...

 

[thatbloke]

. He is saying it should be shared.
.

Using the primary carer card to justify laziness is a joke. Tell your friend to drive an hour and meet halfway or do alternate 2 hour drives.

What has being tha main carer got to do with common decency and sharing things. I bet she would want shared costs in everything hey?

As for it being easier, it is only easier for the person sitting on their backside doing no driving. The child still travels the same distance yes?

Plenty of people drive a lot longer than an hour to facilitate children seeing a parent.

Parents like this are a right wind up and if you took me to court on this i would up the ante and be cross applying for more time, so would any sensible person.