WA Unfair Settlement After Separation - What to Do?

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tolga

Member
7 November 2017
1
0
1
perth
Hi all,

I'm from Perth WA, been married for 24 years and need help, and here is my long story…

I've been the main financial contributor for many years, from having multiple jobs, spending almost 8 years in the mines that also included a large redundancy payout and company bonuses.

Now, back in Perth & I've been doing countless hours as the mines closed.

Wife filed for divorce and went ahead with all legalities and tried to force me to sign of the titles of properties (1 primary house the other investment with tenant), finances, etc, which at the time I refused to sign anything as I believed in trying to resolve our marriage issue as I still love her.

Due to endless arguments and screaming matches, my health deteriorated sharply and I simply couldn’t take it as it just became so unhealthy at home and decided to give her the space she demanded by moving into my mum's house (for the 3rd time over the years).

During our separation and up to now (been over 6 months) I've been trying to get her to come with me for marriage counselling and been attending all sorts of self-development, meditation, etc, to improve on myself and encouraged her to join me so we can work on each other, but has refused to co-operate and she basically shut down and doesn't want to try anymore, although I moved back home as I saw changes in the kids that I didn't like.

So I've been back here home for the last 3 months and during my return, we've been trying and have been intimate a number of times until I had to go in for surgery about 3 weeks ago...

Not long ago I found a copy of her affidavit and was gutted to read how she made me sound like an evil heartless person – ranging from (in my words) a wife and child basher and all sorts of other stories of why the kids aren't close to me. Tonight, my friend informed me, through his soon to be ex that my wife has amended the affidavit as she was going hard for a 80/20 or something similar to those figures…

She has seen a lawyer during our separation which I have not as I clinched onto hope….the hope has failed and I feel now she will serve the papers before xmas so I have no time to organize my self

I've just noticed she has received a pay rise and that she has been withdrawing money to match my income, perhaps avoiding the fact she may not be eligible for whatever she's seeking for and playing with the sums by making payments back to her work. She also cross fired me for not lodging my last financial tax statement…somethings not adding up and im blind to what she may be up to...an agenda perhaps

I was also informed that she has some agenda in wanting to sell up and is going to invest elsewhere into a larger investment property as she now either has been promoted at work or is now receiving a larger pay slip and doesn't give a s**t in losing it all as she's in a more financially better position than me.

I feel so used and gutted as I have always placed every single dollar into this family and yet I find out she's doing all this behind my back

I'm basically lost and need help from anyone who's been in a similar case and what is the best way to protect myself and not get ripped of any more than what I am about to be and ideally want a fair 50/50 or better for myself....

All accounts are in Joint:

Kids both adults and both are working (in their 20's)

Wife and I working F/T

Wife just received an inheritance

I have bhp shares

I own a Hilux 2012

She has corolla 2012

I have a large super then her

Primary house paid off

Home loan against Investment property & has Tenant

Personal loan

Furniture and general gadgets
 

Clancy

Well-Known Member
6 April 2016
973
69
2,289
Sorry to hear. I have been through similar.

Relationships Australia will help you mediate a property settlement. Its going to smart! Have your grinning and bearing it teeth ready.

The hardest lesson - comprehending she doesn't love you anymore. As such, the rules have changed, so do not be surprised by the bad things you will discover she is capable of.
The second hardest lesson - learning to keep your mouth shut and try not to add negative things on top.

Last lesson, of all the things I found that helped me - one particular song just blew my socks off, a song called 'Anyway' by Martina Mcbride
 

Time101

Well-Known Member
10 July 2017
31
8
149
Sorry to hear.

Working in the mines is hard work and long hours. Got a few mates that have done it for years.
Your big redundancy payout what did you do with it ? (Or her)?
80/20 she won't get as kids are over 18.

Relationship Australia isnt any good.
I suggest go see and engage in a good family lawyer in Perth and see where u stand.
50/50 is her best option I don't see her getting any more.
Super will be split 50/50

Agree with the above you need to start to think about you ...cause ATM she's only thinking about herself and what she can get from the divorce.

She has got some advice and is going full force with her decision and what she wants. .... please don't sign anything she gives you. She has done her homework with engaging a lawyer and paperwork will be served on you very soon. Respond to her affidavit and write in it 50/50.

I would say your better off selling both properties and getting a deposit for a new place for you so you can start fresh.

Open up a new bank account in your name and get your work pay to go in. Stop paying payments to the family home and also investment property.
You keeping money in the joint account she is keeping tabs and looks like she is using it to her advantage.
She is playing you and you are falling for it.
She has filed for divorce and sounds as though she is very clear. It's time for you to move on accept it.
Go find a rental near by with your income ....rentals are cheap in Perth.

she has everything planned and obviously looked into it in detail.
Good luck hope this helps.

Go see a good family lawyer in Perth. Family court is best when she is wanting it all.
She's made it clear that it's over so now it's time for you to act.
 

Clancy

Well-Known Member
6 April 2016
973
69
2,289
Time101 - Good advice too, but Relationships Australia isnt any good? I found them to be very good, but, however, the waiting list for appointments is usually quite slow, that is the one big problem with them.