QLD Understanding Consent Orders

[Trinch13]

After some guidance with these consent orders, please.

Background: All children currently live with the mother and spending significant and substantial time with the father. I need help in understanding what these paragraphs in orders mean.

Time with parents
1 That all children shall remain living with Mother.

2 That the children x and y are to live with spend time with and/or communicate with their father as agreed between the parents and if they fail to agree, then time with the father will be spent each alternate weekend.

Does this mean that if the parents can't agree where the children shall live, then the children shall remain living with the mother? This contradicts itself and seems confusing. Any thoughts?

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so paragraph 2 simply means that dad can have more than each alternate weekend if he wants, but only if the mum agrees. If the mum doesn't agree, then the dad only gets every second weekend.

Are these consent orders that have already been stamped by the court, or are they the draft for the consent orders?

What about holiday time?

 

[Trinch13]

These are the draft for the consent orders. The father will get half school holidays. I am the mother.

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so a bit more detail please....

When it says alternate weekends, there are a few things that need to be added. Explicitly state times and locations. eg. Father is to pick up children from XXXXX at XXXXX and return children to XXXXX at XXXXX, or an alternate location by mutual agreement.

It also should say that the father has the first weekend at the conclusion of each school holidays. Look, the idea is to eliminate causes for conflict. Hopefully, you guys get along and don't have petty squabbles. But in my case everything was a cause for conflict, even simple things like, "when do the holidays start", the specific time and location will help.

So in the past I've had to deal with confusion about the Christmas holidays - I had to deal with the ex changing her mind about when the holidays actually start - did they start on Wednesday which was the last day for students in NSW? Did they start on the Friday which was the last day for teachers? Did they start on Saturday, or did they start on the Monday after the weekend at the end of school term.

Now this is all very petty but it is impossible to work out holiday plans around pick up and drop off's if we can't even agree about when the holidays start...

Again, when I look at your paragraphs it seems pretty obvious to me that the meaning of the paragraphs is intended to show that the dad can have more than alternate weekends but only if the mum agrees. You appear to have a different interpretation.

Look, the other thing is, I can see this having the potential to cause conflict. Why? Well, there is a really unfair distribution of power. Dad can have extra time with the kids but only if mum agrees. My ex would love that. She'd be letting me have an extra night here or there, but only if I agree that I am an idiot, that I caused global warming, that I pay her car rego and mow her lawns. And if I disagreed, she'd then be telling everyone that I don't even want to spend time with the kids.

I'm sure you're not like that, but really it is a bad idea because it can also work in reverse. The dad always wanting more time and asking just to cause conflict.

Consent orders are meant to be there to prevent further conflict... Now if dad wants more than alternate weekends why not write that into the orders and take away the cause for conflict.

 

[Trinch13]

Thank you. Yes, conflict is what I'm trying to avoid. There are set dates for school holidays. However I know that the father will be squabbling with me over time spent with the children. Thanks. Lots of food for thought.