WA Should I change flight?

[Lennon]

Hi all,

We have interim orders that require me to book and pay for flights for my two children to spend 10 days with me in June/July. Due to the interim orders, the last time I saw them was January, and the next time I will see them will be in December, so every minute I get to spend with them is important.

The interim orders do not specify the time that the flights should be at.

I have booked flights that return my children to the capital city in their mother's State at 10.30pm (they will have travelled from Perth so it will feel like 8.30pm). Their return date is the middle of school holidays. They are 10 and 11 years old. The flight is just over 4 hours.

Their mother has asked me to move the flights earlier because she says it isn't fair for them to arrive so late. I don't want to. It will cost me $400 (in addition to the $1,000 I have already spent on the flights) and will mean they will have less time with me.

We are due to go back for a directions hearing in August, at which time the judge has said he will list the matter for hearing.

My ex and I are both self-representing.

What would you do in my shoes - change the flights, or not?

 

[sammy01]

Pay the $400. Small change to get to see your kids.
Is this really an argument worth winning on principle by not seeing your kids and proving the point that she is being difficult? Maybe in your book BUT NOT MINE.

 

[Rob Legat - SBPL]

If you notified/agreed on the times with the ex before booking, you might have an angle in sticking to your plan. But, as sammy01 said, what's the price to see your kids? If you miss this chance, it's a long time to wait, and you'd be letting friction between you and your ex-partner spill over and affect your relationship with your children.

If you refuse to change, someone is going to have to explain to the situation to the kids. And that person is likely to be your ex. Is the potential damage to your relationship with your children worth more than the money?

You might be best considering it a 'learning expense' to check flight arrangements before making them, and move on.

Not telling you what to do, simply offering some food for thought.

 

[Lennon]

She hasn't said that she won't send them if I don't change the flights. I have orders that they spend that time with me, I don't think she will breach the orders and not send them.

 

[Lennon]

If I asked her opinion on flight times I would lose two entire days out of the pitiful 10 days I have with them, because she would ask for an afternoon flight over here and a morning flight back. I didn't ask for her input for that reason.

 

[Lennon]

If you read my post, it should be pretty clear that I wasn't suggesting I would miss the chance to see them over a $400 change in flight. I fully expect that she will send them whether I change the flights or not.

I am worried that I will look bad in the Judge's eyes if I don't change the flights, not that I won't get to see my kids.

Far out, I pay over $26k a year in child support, over $5k a year in travel expenses to spend time with them. I am not going to miss a rare chance to see them over $400.

 

[sammy01]

Mate I know you're not gonna miss seeing your kids for the sake of $400... BUT you're the one who asked the question

ok so there is something I think we are not good at... It is being blunt... So send her a message that says - you expect her to comply with the booked flights, or pay the expenses incurred in changing it. Dear ex which do you want?

So learn some lessons. Ask her to pick the flights... do what ever. YEP IT SUX

 

[Lennon]

As I said, I'm not asking her to pick the flights because she will choose flights that deprive me of two days with my kids. That wouldn't be fair on the kids. They suffer enough because of her selfish refusal to let them see me more than twice a year.

 

[Lennon]

Every hour counts, when the number of days they are spending with me can be counted on two hands.

 

[sammy01]

So instead of them getting in at 10.30pm, surely you can get a flight on the SAME DAY that will get them in at a more suitable hour... Plan B - Ask the ex if she would agree for the kids to stay one extra night with you in order to get flights the following day that are more suitable time wise...

Getting an earlier flight will only cost you a few hours, not a few days. AND YES IT SUXS - but you get to go back to court and show the judge that you can co-operate with her...