While I was working on a mine site, my de facto wife repeatedly cheated on me and when I caught her hiding it, we separated. Living under the same roof. (We are/were a de facto couple of 10 + years with one eight-year-old daughter.)
My ex has been increasingly aggressive and irrational and now demands that I leave, plus sign the house over to her, plus pay $450 a week child maintenance. If I don't agree she says she will take me to the family court and also I will see a side of her that I have never seen before.
The house is in my name only and was acquired 2.5 years ago. I have always paid the mortgage and all bills and currently pay my ex an allowance of $300 per week. My ex's daughter from a previous relationship also stays in the house.
Despite an agreement after our separation that my ex's new boyfriend would not be let anywhere near our house, I was recently out of Perth and my ex uploaded a picture of her new boyfriend sitting in the kitchen of our house, presumably to taunt me. My 8-year-old daughter has told me that this man sleeps in the main bedroom and on occasion has driven my car, without my knowledge of course.
(1) My question, what can I do about the entrance of this man into my house? The past entry and any future entry. He will, of course, be invited by my ex.
(2) What can I do about him driving my car in the past? What about the future?
(3) Most importantly, can I turn my ex out of the house? I will take care of my daughter for the moment but I can't live with my ex's aggressive and deceitful attitude. She is trying to provoke me by letting this man stay in our house while I am away.
Firstly - police are under state laws not Federal, therefore, know nothing about Federal Laws especially in your case where by de facto or married is considered equal when your relationship has been sexually intimate and live as man and wife 6 months or more.
Also, because you have a child, you will go through Family Law proceedings which is also Federal. Are you going through a property settlement and custody of the child? You, like anyone else, will have to go through the process of attempting (better through hard copy - written either by email or hand, typed) to show you have attempted to settle property and child co-parenting agreements with your ex. Not verbally as this will be classed as 'Heresy' and both sign a date agreement
.
Go through a Mediation Practioner to settle property matters and child matters until given a certificate from the Mediation Practioner stating you have gone through this process and can't not resolve the issues, therefore, family court must decide for you. Then the Family court Judge will order you both to attend mediation .
This is a person who will sit down with the both of you and many attempts will be made to help you resolve issues between you both regarding property settlement and child custody orders. You both can supply and have your own lawyers do this for you on your behave or alongside you advising you. If you can't be in the same room all together then the mediator will go back and forth between individual rooms trying to sort something out.
If property and child custody agreements can not be obtained then you're headed to Family law court.
A Child Lawyer Representative will be appointed ( CLR) to represent in the best interest of the child only. A court family court report done by either a court social worker or psychologist or both to get do a background check and find out your relationship before, after, now with the ex and vice versa, as well as your relationship with the child and vice versa, and even your step daughter will be brought in.
The judge can also order a court-appointed psychiatrist regarding yourself and the ex. The judge will have all this before him. Just because the house is in your name and you have lived 6 months it more with a woman does not matter. In the eyes of the court, you are treated as if married. So all properties of both your and hers, superannuations, etc including mortgages, personal loans whether in joint names or not, credit card debt, etc., will be thrown into the area including any other homes, businesses owned by either one of you - everything.
You can change the locks if you want on your home but so can she. Neither of you can throw the other one out of the house unless there is a restraining order or an AVO and the catch here is. It is not classed as trespassing nor breach of AVO if one of the conditions is that they must stay 500 meters away from you and you go off mining, and enters the house because the twisted fact is she is 500 meters away from you and the house belongs to you as much as it does her.
As for your car- if not already done - change your insurance policy so that only you are able to drive the car and stop her or the boyfriend from driving it. However, in family court, the car is thrown in as property.
You still have to provide for your child. So seek the amount you need to pay including stating what you already provide for the child and how many nights you spend with the child (as it is calculated by nights not days by the CSA. They will give you an amount but do include all payments of the mortgage, bills,etc., plus school fees, clothing , food, etc., in calculations as this is classed as child payments (also tax deductible).
Regarding the boyfriend - if he is lodging there or spends a week there, you can as it is equally your right plus if you are the only breadwinner between your ex and yourself - throw him out! You're not obligated to provide roofing for him. You're paying the bills so she can go to his place. You have already been told to document everything.
Usually, one person leaves, however, you have come to the arrangement of living under the same roof. As you are a father, it would not look good in court to throw her out and as you may go away due to mining 2 weeks on one week off or two weeks on and two weeks off, I presume this is the reason you chose to stay.
Regarding your car, there is nothing stopping you from placing your car elsewhere whilst away working, however, if it's the only car you and your ex have between you and your ex needs this to take your child to school and outside school activities then the judge will view this as vindictive and malice.
Property settlement starts off 50%-50% . Changes are therefore made due to the care of the child and in the interest of the child, etc.
You have every right to prohibit the boyfriend from driving or using your car and police will be able to advise you on this. However, not your ex if this is the only means she has to care for the child and in this case children and obtain a usual living, care and well-being of children e.g. shopping for food, school, etc. etc.
In Family court, the number one priority is in the best interest of the child. Your property settlement will be based on the welfare, well being, who has what care of the child, etc. make no mistake that Family Court is interested it the mentality of 'what's mine', what the adult wants or claims entitlement!
As the Judge see it, (all day, every day) you both have ended up in their court after the process of mediation because of greed, selfish thinking and not in the best interest of the child's welfare now or for the future to come to an agreement. So the owners are on the Judge to work it all out. They may or may not give recesses in which you and the ex whilst in court are given time with the lawyers or yourselves to come to agreements but if not, you both won't have a aay or the Judge won't consider anything else other than the best interest and care for the child.
Work out now what you are wanting and not too worried about in the ex having. More percentage of property and monies will go towards the parent who has the most care of the child. Keep it simple and pleasant and get fast into the proceding with settlement and custody orders as soon as possible as they are both done at the same time.The Child first, property second as no Judge is going to have a child homeless, not cared for.
Shared custody is best unless something ugly has occurred placing the child in a terribly unsafe situation.
As for the boyfriend, you can get rid of him and not allowed to be at the house. So can your ex. You both have equal rights.
Go to Relationship Australia or other relationship counsellors or family counsellors ( Relationship Australia is considered valuable in the courts) to work out how to live together under the same roof whilst co-parenting and your rights and effects upon the child having the boyfriend coming around. I know for sure it will be seen as healthy but confusing and not in the best interest of the child.
One more thing - you are separated. Get help with your emotions and feelings regarding your ex having a boyfriend because it goes deeper than just him being in the house. I'm sure if you met a woman you were extremely attracted to and did the same thing, you wouldn't see it as a problem. But the decent and respectful thing to do is to go out of the house and gave a relationship away from the residence till this situation is settled because it is affecting both the children as it is there home, too. And it seems neither adult is caring how the children lives and the home has been placed upside down through all this, and the Judge will see that straight away!