VIC Preparing for an Intervention Order Court Date?

[homelessguy65]

Hi,

I've currently been served with an intervention order against my partner and 2 children, 3yrs and 5yrs. She says I'm unpredictable with my mood swings and has written a weak application against me and now I'm unable to see my family? I have 3 weeks to go for court, and I want some help to best prepare me for hearing.

I have started counselling, and got dad coaching. I'm also doing online activities to better understand my frustration and ways to better communicate. I am not a threat to my family and have never physically hurt my family in any way. I have shut down communication and yelled at my partner and children I will admit, and I'm actively seeking better ways to change this.

I feel I'm on the right path but I am now worried about this court hearing and the possibility of being apart from my children for even longer if I mess the court hearing up. I so miss my kids and believe this is so unfair how I'm kept away from my children.

I have been the best dad I could possibly be, I know I'm far from perfect and looking back now I could have been even better. This has been one of the hardest emotional places I've been in and I don't want to be here again.

Any help would be great.

Thanks

 

[sammy01]

Can I encourage you to post your story on mensline. It is a good forum and is gender specific, it isn't about woman bashing. Not even close... But there are guys there that will tell you their stories and that can help on an emotional level... But this is a law forum, so I'm in NSW my understanding of AVO/ IVO is based on NSW law... There are some similarities and there are some differencees.

I'm hoping a few others will post and disagree with me... Just so you have lots of opinions. But - my opinion. Contact every govt funded mediation service and get that process started. Who applied for the avo? I know this sounds silly but either it is the police or her directly through the courts. Why does it matter?

Well if the police have applied on her behalf, that indicates the police believe there is some substance to the allegations. This leads me to suggest you should accept without admission. If however, she applied through the court, well that tells me the police said they didn't think there was grounds and that suggest it is weak.

Mate you need to understand how flimsy these things are... Have a read
Applying for an AVO

So all she has to do is claim that she fears you... Whether or not those fears have substance...

So my opinion is generally to accept without admission. It is cheaper than hiring a solicitor. Keep your money to get a solicitor to represent you in family law if need be. And let's pretend for a minute that you do defend the thing and win. So what? What I mean is that still doesn't exactly give you access to the kids does it?

Again only my opinion, but accepting without admission suxs. But it suxs less than fighting it and losing.... And given the current political hype over domestic violence magistrates live in fear... What if they don't grant one and that person then goes and hurts / kills someone. And given the threshold of proof is so low, they are more likely to apply an ivo in precaution than not...

But post your story on mensline can ya...

 

[homelessguy65]

OK thanks, I will post there.

Just to update, she has made the avo, and not the police. I'm very understanding and I accept that she didn't know how I would react and shes just protecting herself and the children. I love her more for this as I would expect nothing else from the mother of my children. It's been 4 weeks now, the longest I've ever been away from my kids. My boy broke his arm last week and I can't say anything, help, contact, support and share love with him. Since then. I'm breaking down. This distance is destroying me.

We have also been messaging every day, which I told her the day I got the avo we can't do this, but she says as long as were civil its fine. Yesterday I deleted ph numbers and social media accounts with her as messaging in this way is illegal and messages can get misinterpreted.

I didn't want to fight in anyway her in court, I have tried to ask her to dissolve the avo, but she says I'm too unstable. Of course I'm unstable, i don't know where my family is, what they do, where they go after kinder, didn't even know my partner had a job, so much has been hidden from me since before she moved out, its made me very uneasy.

Also I don't want to admit in court, that I'm a danger to her and the kids. I have no delusions for custody. She's the better single parent hands down. I've never had a violent streak, no trouble with the law, never had a fight. I've even looked into violent mens groups, but found that path not healthy for myself. I have gone down the path of open and better communication and positive ways to handle children, in being there role model and not the home enforcer.

 

[Rod]

Get the kids off the IVO and consent to an undertaking, for say 6 or 12 months.

You can use the duty lawyer or community legal service lawyer on the day for help.

 

[homelessguy65]

Thanks